Eternal Darkness
by thedarkunicorn
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha has yet to return to Konoha after Madara has been defeated and his time is running out. Sakura does all that she can for him, but fears that everything she has may not be enough. A story dealing with Sasuke's return. SasuSaku.
1. One Year

_AN: SasuSaku fic set after the manga and Madara has been defeated. Team Seven members are 21. _

* * *

Chapter One: One Year

_Beep. Beep. _BEEP!

Sakura jumped in her seat, startled by the alarm on the machine regulating her patient's breathing. He was unstable. Rushing to his side, Sakura forced the remaining bits of her chakra into his body to stabilize his breathing. Drawing down to the bare minimum, Sakura called in another nurse to standby. If something else happened to him… Glancing at the tattered ANBU uniform and the blood still scattered on his skin, Sakura took a shaky breath.

The man was trapped in an unstable genjutsu that threatened his health. He had been the last of a team brought in after coming into contact with an S-rank missing-nin. After healing his comrades, she had used all of her chakra... and she was the only one capable of breaking the jutsu. Sighing, Sakura waited for the nurse, ready to take chakra injections just to make sure he would make it. She didn't know how long his mind could remain suspended in such a state before he gave in. Who knew what horrible nightmares he was having.

Hearing the nurse, Sakura closed her eyes, reassured she could rest for a moment.

"Sakura."

Hearing the familiar voice, Sakura was surprised to find Tsunade before her, scrutinizing her.

"Shishui!" Sakura said.

She hadn't seen her former sensei for months and wasn't expecting her back in the village for some time.

"You've done enough here, Sakura. I'll take care of this man," Tsunade said.

Sakura frowned. "I'd like to stay until he has recovered, master."

Tsunade sighed. "Look, Sakura. I understand that you feel responsible… but you need to rest. You look awful."

Sakura glanced at the man, her eyes growing heavier and heavier. She had analyzed every wound on his body. Every trace of the jutsu used on him. She could still sense the presence of Sasuke's chakra …

"I'll stop him, Shishou. I won't let this continue," Sakura said.

"It could be much worse, Sakura. Right now all it seems he is doing is avoiding capture. They engaged him, not the other way around. So far, his offences are expected."

Sakura nodded as she watched Tsunade break the jutsu on the ANBU. He stirred before falling back asleep, and Sakura smiled gently.

"Thank you, Shishou."

# # #

"What?!"

Sakura was staring at one of the Hokage's special ANBU's standing outside her front door.

"And the Hokage wishes to speak with you immediately."

Sakura shut her door quietly, pausing for a moment to take a breath. Unable to process what she had just heard, Sakura went to her closet and pulled on her outfit numbly.

Sakura's hair swayed as she moved towards the Hokage's office, the long pink locks reaching down her back. Her hands were sweaty and gripping the inside of her glove from nervousness.

"Naruto," she said, her voice trembling. "Is it true?"

Naruto was sitting on his desk, his hands folded serenely in his lap. "There was nothing I could do, Sakura. The order has been put forth… it's simply too dangerous to let him keep wandering around on his own. With how much trouble Madara caused, it's no surprise the alliance is shaky without Konoha dealing with him, even if Sasuke did help bring Madara down. People are scared of him having no authority to answer to."

Sakura felt Naruto's words hit her like an icy wind. They chilled every bone in her body and froze even the tears she might have once cried for him.

"How long?"

"One year."

Sakura held herself steady, trying to let the shock pass through her rather than strike her head on. She knew it was coming… she knew they wouldn't give Sasuke an indefinite pass for his transgressions. His grace period would soon be over… and he would never be able to return.

"Sakura…" Naruto said, his tone suddenly serious. "If Sasuke returns within a year, he can still be pardoned."

Sakura recalled a conversation she had had with Naruto a few months ago. "Yeah. I'll see you soon."

# # #

_~Three Months Later~_

Sakura handed a piece of bread to the small child in the bed before her, smiling to cheer him up. He had a fever and was dying. There were so many small children in this part of the Land of Lightning that simply could not survive the winter. Despite having found no trace of Sasuke, Sakura couldn't find it in her to leave these children when they had no medicine but her to keep them alive once she had discovered them. Now, as January rolled on, Sakura felt that they were finally strong enough for her to leave and continue her search.

She crossed three different major countries and countless small ones searching for any trace of Sasuke, but none came. It was February when she found herself in a northern village somewhere in the Land of Earth. Coming across another local clinic not unlike the one she had spent so long at before, Sakura stopped to see if she could be of any help.

Noticing a man stumble on his walking cane, Sakura pulled off her headband and tied up her hair, insisting he let her restore his leg. When she finished, he could walk fine, and everyone around her in the small clinic applauded her. By nightfall, the arrival of the medical genius spread throughout the village. Having used up much of her chakra, Sakura sat exhausted on one of the empty hospital beds, about ready to find a room for the night.

"Sakura Haruno?"

Sakura turned at the sound of her name, seeing a woman with fiery hair.

"Yes?"

"Are you the medic whom everyone is talking about?" she asked.

Sakura nodded. "Is there something I can help you with?"

The woman surveyed her skeptically. "I have a friend who might be able to use your help."

Sakura nodded. "What's wrong?"

"It's his vision. He is going blind."

Sakura stood up and noticed her headband fall from her pocket. Letting her hair loose and picking it up, she placed it back on her head and glanced up at the woman.

"I am too tired to do anything tonight, but I could take a look at him and see if I would be able to help," Sakura suggested.

However, the woman suddenly looked flustered about something.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Oh… N..nothing. I don't think you can help us," she said, turning to leave.

Sakura couldn't miss the way the woman had scanned her headband and immediately changed her stance. As if suddenly struck, Sakura put together the hesitation towards her medical ninjutsu, the reaction to the Konoha headband… and the friend with deteriorating eyesight. Dropping her bag, Sakura followed the woman out into the street, making sure to keep her distance. Making sure to keep her chakra masked, Sakura followed her down the crowded street until she turned into a side alleyway. Disappearing into a side door, Sakura followed her inside, and descended several levels into a basement like corridor. The air was cool and wet, making Sakura nervous. Approaching a lit room, Sakura paused outside, casting a delicate genjutsu to hide herself, and still not reveal her chakra to them.

"Any luck?" a male voice asked.

"No, none," said the red haired woman.

Sakura frowned. She was intentionally lying to whoever she was talking to.

"Well, that does it for around here. We are going to have to change locations again," said a third voice.

"No." The fourth voice was low, and unrecognizable, but something about it sent a chill down her spine. "I can't keep traveling… you'll have to go without me."

"But!"

"Shut up, Karin. Just go. Each of you go to the next three destinations on our list and return."

Sakura remained frozen against the wall trying to understand their muffled voices when the door opened and the woman and two other men walked out the way she had entered.

Bracing herself, Sakura entered the room, only to be knocked to the floor immediately. Her heart beat increased tenfold as she felt someone's full weight upon her. Panicking, Sakura struggled against her opponent, trying to take in every aspect she could to get an upper hand. Whoever attacked her was breathing heavily, like they were sick. Grunting out in frustration, Sakura finally got a hand loose. It was pitch black and there was a silent struggle as both of them raced for a kunai, but Sakura was faster. Locking her opponent in a tight hold, she twisted until she was on top, gaining control of the situation. Confirming her opponent was a male, Sakura's chest constricted as she wondered if this could really be Sasuke. He was incredibly strong despite the way he was breathing and she could hardly keep her hold on him. Losing her grip, Sakura didn't quite dodge as he lashed out at her, cutting her cheek. Flung against the far wall, Sakura summoned the last remaining chakra she had and caught his arm before he could deliver a fatal wound to her chest. With her enhanced hold, she finally caught her breath and slammed him against the wall, a kunai dangerously against his throat, and even as Sakura pressed it tighter, she felt sweat and blood roll down her skin. She could feel his silky strands of hair floating against her skin, the smooth skin of his neck on her hand.

"Sasuke?" she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper.

Beneath her, Sakura felt his entire body restrict. He stopped breathing. Then, without warning, he broke her hold on him, releasing himself from her grip. Hearing him stumble and fall to the floor, Sakura's eyes widened.

Panicking, Sakura felt around the small room and located a candle on the small table. Carelessly using a small fire jutsu with her low chakra level, she lit it, holding it out before her.

And there he was… just as she had imagined. His dark hair fell down around his face, his chest heaving more than it should have been. He was leaning against the wall, the red line on his neck bruising from her blade.

"Sasuke," Sakura said, scared of what might have been wrong with him.

Then she noticed it. The way he looked at her… and didn't see her at all. Sasuke was blind.

* * *

_AN: This will be a chaptered fic, but don't expect it to be too long. I plan to put more care into this one though. So far, I really like the outline. Please review!_


	2. Deal

Chapter Two: Deal

Sasuke's chest burned as he held himself up against the wall beside his bed. Sakura's voice was echoing through his head and he was having a hard time accepting that she was there. Recognizing the chakra seals for a fire jutsu, Sasuke's eyes tightened, knowing she was about to light the room up. Struggling to stand, Sasuke cringed as his chest burned even more as he tried to breathe. He wanted nothing more than for Sakura to leave. He didn't want her to see him so weak…

Sakura set the candle down before him, carefully reaching her hand out to his to let him know she was there. He flinched and turned to stare unseeingly right into her eyes. Alarmed, Sakura backed away.

"Sasuke, you don't have to worry—I'm not here to hurt you," she said.

Sasuke scowled. "Just leave, Sakura."

Hearing how angry he was, Sakura put her guard back up. "Sasuke… I'm here to help you. I can see that you are sick… and blind."

"I don't want your help, Sakura. Leave me alone," he spat.

Sensing how vulnerable he was, Sakura could predict his attack. It was easy for her to counter and brace him against the floor and she almost felt guilty doing it.

"Sasuke! I came to find you… if you don't return to Konoha in the next eight months they are going to send assassination squads from every nation to finish you off. You are too great of a threat to them as a missing-nin."

Sasuke laughed darkly. "Some threat I am… considering you can take me down this easily."

Sakura glared at him and stood up, releasing him as she did so. She couldn't stop the anger from burning within her. After all this time, Sasuke was still the same, even when his life was at stake. And even now, when she truly had something to offer him, he wanted nothing to do with her, preferring the help of his hand-picked comrades that clearly did not include her or Naruto.

"Fine! If you don't want my help, then you can stay here and suffer until they find you. What a pathetic end for the great Uchiha clan," Sakura spat as she turned on her heel and left.

Sasuke listened as he heard her leave, surprised his jab had actually sent her away. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if she had been serious when she said she could help him… but it didn't last long. Surely Sakura would be of no use to him. Crawling back onto his bed, Sasuke slipped into unconsciousness after realizing their fight had caused his fever to rise.

# # #

Sakura lay back on her bed releasing a long overdue sigh. Her room was cramped and poorly lit, and Sakura found herself wishing she was back in Sasuke's cold one. Curling into a ball and hugging her pillow, she thought sullenly, _at least Sasuke was there_. She regretted what she said to him… how had she expected him to react? Clearly he would have gone back to the village if he wanted their help, so nothing he said was really a surprise. But how could she just leave him like he was… She knew Sasuke was stubborn. The loss of his doujutsu and strength to whatever illness was eating away at him would turn him into a very unpleasant person. As the great Sasuke Uchiha, he wouldn't want to be around anyone he knew formerly… he wouldn't want them to see what had become of him.

Frustrated with herself and with him, Sakura snapped her boots back on, throwing a cloak around her shoulders. She would drag him back to the village if she had to, damn his pride.

The streets outside felt strange to Sakura. It was as if she were in the calm before a storm. The people were glancing over their shoulders, and the nervous chatter of the afternoon was gone. People were scared. Stopping at a local ramen shop, Sakura purchased two meals and asked the owner what was going on.

He rushed and gave her the order saying he didn't have time to talk.

"We're closing. We just got word that the border country was planning an attack," he said, packing things up and snatching the money Sakura handed him.

"What?!" Sakura gasped.

"Yeah, you better get out of here," he said, glancing at her headband. "You don't want to get mixed up in this. They've been trying to take back this village by force since the Earth country annexed it a few years ago."

Thanking him, Sakura hurried to the alleyway where Sasuke's room was hidden and took one last glance at the street--it was nearly empty, with only a few people left hurrying to their homes or out of the village. Certain she didn't want to get caught in this storm, Sakura hurried back down the corridor to where Sasuke was. Dropping the food and knocking open the door, Sakura found the candle about to burn out and Sasuke collapsed on his bed.

"Sasuke!"

Rushing over to him, Sakura did a quick check of his vitals and felt the fever immediately. Guilt washed over her as she realized how sick he was. Using the small amount of chakra she had regained, Sakura used it all to reduce the fever to something manageable. Feeling the sweat falling onto the sheets, Sakura pulled them down and shifted Sasuke so that he would be under them. Locating a small kitchen area down the hall, Sakura got a towel and rinsed it with cold water to wipe his face with. Exhausted, she fell to her knees beside the bed and rested her head for a moment on the edge, trying to regain her stamina. A few seconds later, she passed out.

# # #

Opening her eyes Sakura continued to see only darkness. Feeling disorientated, Sakura scrambled to get her bearings and realized she fell asleep at the side of the bed. Sitting up, she realized Sasuke wasn't in the bed before her anymore and jumped to her feet. Rushing into the hall, she listened and heard something further into the small compound and found another room. Frustrated, Sakura thought to do something she hadn't before—search for a light switch.

Finding it, Sakura sent warm light throughout the room and blushed when she found herself staring straight at Sasuke who was standing under the water spraying down on him in the shower. Immediately diverting her eyes, she turned to leave.

"Sakura."

Pausing, she listened, her face growing redder and redder by the second at having walked in on Sasuke in the shower.

She heard the shower shut off and the door slide open. After she noticed the towel shuffling, she turned back to see him leaning on the counter.

"What did you do to me?" he asked, his voice strained, like he hadn't been using it much recently.

Feeling the need to be defensive, Sakura narrowed her eyes. "I just healed you, Sasuke."

Seeing the relaxed expression on his face, far different from the previous night, Sakura relaxed a bit too.

"I haven't felt this well in months, Sakura," he said quietly.

Surprised, Sakura felt her defensive posture slip away.

"How did you do it?" he asked.

Sakura glared at him like he was stupid. "I know medical ninjutsu, Sasuke. I simply reduced your fever."

Sasuke didn't say anything, but walked past her and returned to his room.

"Sasuke," Sakura said, following him, "If you would just come back to Konoha, I could treat you properly and perhaps do something for your vision."

"What about my sharingan?" he asked, letting go of the towel.

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Stunned, she tore her eyes away from the unexpected sight to regain her thoughts.

"I don't know. I would have to do an exam," she said.

After pulling on his robe, Sasuke sat on his bed. "I won't go back to Konoha."

Just when Sakura was about to get angry, there was a loud explosion above them causing everything to shake. Distant screams and shrieks of terror alarmed them both.

"Oh no," Sakura muttered.

"What is that?" Sasuke asked.

"The village is being attacked," Sakura said. "It's too late now. If we were going to get out of here, we should have done it sooner."

Sasuke hmphed. "I wouldn't have left with you anyway."

Sakura glared at him. "What if I can restore your vision and doujutsu?"

"What if you can't? I'm not going to go back there just to find out it's not possible," Sasuke said.

"What if I did heal them? Would you return with me?" she asked.

Sasuke was silent for a while, thinking over what she said. "If you prove capable of fully restoring my eyes, then I would return to Konoha to settle whatever their problem is."

Moving towards him, Sakura slowly reached out for him, only for him to stop her wrist in midair before she could touch him.

Staring into his blank dark eyes, Sakura was overwhelmed with sadness. "Why don't you trust me anymore, Sasuke?"

Slowly, and as if unsure of himself, Sasuke released her hand and allowed her to rest her fingers on his face beside his eye.

"I'm going to run chakra through your eye and see what is causing the damage," she said.

Sasuke nodded.

Emitting the familiar green glow, Sakura watched Sasuke's expression turn from disapproving to relaxed as her chakra flowed into him. As she expected, the problem was not anything obvious. Pulling her hand away, she frowned.

"It's strange… there is nothing wrong with your eye itself… but"

Sasuke's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's almost as if there is a genjutsu that is self activating each time chakra is used to cast one of your doujutsus. Your eyes are causing your mind to descend into darkness. However, it appears to be something that once it has run its course, it is finished. Your eyes will never respond to the mind that it has cast the genjutsu upon. The light will have vanished… its like it has made the eyes useless to your mind," Sakura said, amazed at the complexity of the mangekyou's makeup.

Sasuke felt fear strike him for the first time since he had lost his vision. "What are you saying? Nothing can be done?"

Sakura continued to stare at his eye and bit her lip. Lifting her hand back to his temple, Sakura sent a strong surge of condensed chakra to the nerve bundle where the genjutsu had taken hold.

"Ah!" Sasuke cried. "Wait… I saw something. There was a flash… of pink."

Sakura smiled at Sasuke's comprehension as he said the last bit. "The genjutsu is feeding off of your chakra to continuously cast it. It was like I broke the electric current for a moment, allowing your eyes to work again. So yes, it should be possible, it will just take some time for me to find a way to do it that won't kill you."

Sasuke gave her his typical un-amused look. "Are you saying you really might be able to do it?"

Sakura scowled, wishing he could see it. "Sasuke… you're talking to the top medical ninja in all the five great shinobi nations… I can break a self-activating genjutsu."

Watching the skepticism on his face fade, Sakura was surprised when she noticed that Sasuke was actually _smiling. _

"Then we'll remain here until it is done."

"And afterwards, we'll return to Konoha," Sakura added.

Silently, Sasuke nodded.

_AN: Please review!_


	3. Disappearance

_AN: …… Enjoy!_

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Chapter Three: Disappearance

"So, where are we exactly?" Sakura asked.

"One of Orochimaru's earlier hideouts," Sasuke said.

Sakura frowned. "We can't stay here. It's damp and dark… terrible conditions for a recovering patient. And there is only one bed."

Sasuke looked up at her with disdain. "Fine."

"We can go into town when the fighting clears and find a room."

# # #

"No, you don't understand, I wanted a room with a double bed," Sakura said, setting the key back on the counter for the second time.

Sasuke stood behind Sakura with his arms folded and his expression blank. Why was everything _complicated_ with her? Leaning around her as the man explained for a second time those rooms were taken, Sasuke picked the key back up and turned to leave.

"Sasuke!" Sakura said, following.

"Shut up, Sakura. This is the only room they have," he said.

Sakura growled and Sasuke scowled.

"In case you haven't noticed, there is an occupation occurring here. We're lucky to have a place to stay at all," Sasuke said.

"Lucky? They're the ones keeping up here in the first place!" Sakura quipped.

"Whatever, just hurry up," Sasuke said, holding out the key to her.

Sakura snatched the key from him and unlocked the room. The door swung open on rusty hinges to a poorly lit room. It was barely big enough for the bed, which was barely big enough for two people. Sakura looked at the floor space and sighed. It would have to do.

"At least there is a window," Sakura muttered, setting her pack on the bed. "And a kitchenette."

Sakura spent the afternoon reading through her medical guides to help her identify what she would need when she discovered what was wrong with Sasuke. Finally getting a clear understanding of what she was looking for based on his symptoms, Sakura shut the book.

"Sasuke, I need you to sit down so I can assess the illness," she said.

Sasuke opened his eyes and sat up. "What are you going to do?"

"It won't feel different from what I did before. Just a stream of chakra," Sakura said, sitting in front of him and leaning close to examine his eyes.

After a few moments of sending her chakra into his chakra network, Sasuke lifted his hand slowly. Sakura was concentrating so hard she didn't even notice until Sasuke's hand was touching the side of her face. Startled, Sakura stopped the stream of chakra, losing concentration, and stared at him, staring blankly back at her. His hand lifted up to a strand of her hair falling down her face. Running his fingers down the length of it, Sasuke let his hand fall away.

"It's gotten longer."

Sakura gaped at him. His words were toneless as usual, but there was definitely something different about how he said it. It was almost… nostalgic. Feeling her heart restrict, Sakura couldn't keep the words from spilling out of her mouth.

"Sasuke, why haven't you come back?"

His expression hardened and his shell returned. "I don't want to go back."

"Not even to us?" she whispered, wishing he would reach out and touch her again.

There was a long silence between them that felt like a lifetime. Sakura wished she could read his mind, know if there was even a small part of him that missed her and Naruto…

"No."

Sakura couldn't keep her eyes from burning and made an excuse to leave the room for a moment. Walking down the deserted alleyway, Sakura told herself over and over again that Sasuke wasn't going to change. Even when they were back in Konoha, this was what he had become, and she needed to learn to accept it. Sasuke was never going to… love her.

She knew this and she understood it, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. She would always be in love with a man that would always be lost in this world of darkness he had been consumed by. Even when she restored his vision, Sasuke would never truly be able to see her, and the past would remain in the past.

# # #

Sakura didn't say much to Sasuke that night. That seemed to be the easiest way to handle this deal. She slept horribly, on the cramped floor, and awoke the next day feeling like she had just had the fight of her life. Making sure Sasuke couldn't touch her, Sakura examined him and identified the illness that was tearing apart his body. His lungs were deteriorating, making it difficult for him to breathe. His chakra was slowing down the illness, and would have killed a normal person by now, but he was quickly losing the fight. Whatever was causing the genjutsu to activate was also emitting some kind of destructive poison in his body. Sakura had never seen anything like it, but she knew that if she could break the genjutsu, she could stop the poison from generating.

Sasuke watched her and finally snapped, "What is it?"

Sakura frowned. "It's just… this illness… it seems more like a curse than a medically contracted virus. But I can slow down the effects on your body until I can break the genjutsu, I will just need the right ingredients."

Sasuke took a hazardous breath and suddenly began coughing violently. Shocked, Sakura tried to help him, but it seemed all she could do was wait for it to pass. When she saw the blood in his hands, she took a step back, stunned.

"I should go find them now," she said.

Sakura didn't take long to find what she was looking for, but sneaking out of the village they were forbidden to leave was a bit trickier. There were barriers set up everywhere that she had to detect and disarm and replace. She didn't get back to the room until nightfall. Releasing the genjutsu on the door, Sakura went inside.

"I think I found—"

Sakura dropped the pouch of ingredients she had been holding. Sasuke wasn't there.

"Sasuke?" Sakura called, peering inside the dark bathroom. He wasn't in the room.

Sakura leaned against the wall, unsure what to think. Had Sasuke been lying to her? Did he really not want her help after all? She couldn't believe that he would just leave… Sakura slid down the wall, trying to make sense of it all… but of course… it was Sasuke. That's what he did… just left. No matter what she did, or what she accomplished, nothing about her would ever be good enough for him.

Sasuke would always abandon her. And she would keep searching for him, just to feel the pain of his loss all over again. Curling into a ball, Sakura refused to cry. She should have expected this. Thinking of how she would create the medicine from the herbs she found, Sakura fell asleep in the floor of the hotel, holding her knees tightly against her chest.

# # #

When Sakura awoke, she was aware that something was different, but couldn't quite place it. Recalling when she fell asleep, Sakura bolted upright, not noticing the blankets fall as she did so. The overwhelming sensation to find Sasuke before something bad happened to him made her heart race, and she could hardly calm herself down when she realized she was staring right at him.

Alarmed, Sasuke cocked his head to the side a bit, asking, "What's wrong with you?"

Unable to process what was going on, Sakura shook her head and cried, "Where did you go? You had left! You were gone…again."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. "I went out for water."

Sakura's heart didn't stop racing. "Then you weren't taking off?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and brusquely replied, "No."

Lying back down, Sakura realized she was on the bed and glanced back up at Sasuke. He was at the small kitchenette in the corner of the room trying to cook something and seemed rather irritated. As she watched him, she couldn't keep the memory of that night he left from replaying over and over in her mind. Every night she dreamed of that moment, and every night she failed to keep him with her. And here he was, having laid her on the bed… having returned.

Forcing calm into her mind, Sakura told herself she had overreacted. Hearing something hissing, Sakura got up and went to see what he was doing.

"You're cooking?" Sakura asked, uncertain.

Sasuke didn't respond, clearly thinking it was obvious.

"Well, for not being able to see, you're doing pretty well," Sakura said, guiding his hand to where the pot he had placed halfway on the burner was so he could add the spices. Nodding his thanks, Sasuke finally let her help him. They worked silently, Sasuke cooking some of the food he had picked up while Sakura prepared his medicine.

"I'm glad you didn't leave, Sasuke," she muttered.

Sasuke paused and looked towards her. "Why would I, Sakura, you're the only hope I have to get out of this mess."

Sakura went back to what she was doing. "I guess I'm just used to you being gone."

Sasuke didn't move for several moments before he returned to what he was doing without a word.

Just when she was finishing up crushing the ingredients together, Sasuke handed her a plate of food. Surprised, Sakura took the plate and watched him sit down at the end of the bed and eat silently. Smiling a little, Sakura ate and told Sasuke she had finished his medicine.

"You should put it in a drink," she said.

Setting down his plate, Sakura's eye twitched at how fast he ate before he turned back towards her.

"What's in it?" he asked, eyeing it distrustfully.

"Sasuke," she said, "I'm not going to poison you."

Watching her, Sasuke picked up the bowl and dumped the contents into his water and drank the entire glass. Making a disgusted face he glared at Sakura who was barely containing her laughter. She had never seen Sasuke with _that_ expression before.

"That was terrible," he muttered.

"Well get used to it because that is what you will be taking every week until I've taken care of the genjutsu," Sakura said.

Watching Sasuke turn back and start cleaning the dishes, Sakura couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was so normal that she couldn't seem to get used to it. He didn't stop until the entire area was spotless--a significant difference compared to how it looked when he started.

"Why are you so obsessed with cleaning?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke hmphed. "What makes you think I'm obsessed?"

Sakura glanced around the room and noticed her boots sitting neatly next to his by the door… she hadn't taken them off last night, and when she did, she kicked them wherever they fell. His pack hung neatly from the bathroom door while hers was half open with several things coming out of it on the floor.

"I don't know, you just seem very _neat,"_ Sakura commented.

Finishing what he was doing, Sasuke turned around and was about to walk to the other side of the bed when he heard the sound of Sakura's pack tipping over from the weight and spilling onto the floor. Seeing him pause, Sakura laughed.

"See, you can't stand it causing a mess," she said.

Sasuke looked away. "I'm going to bed."

Sakura sighed and picked up her pack, zipping it neatly and hanging it on the door before crawling into her sleeping bag on the floor. Sakura laid there for several minutes, shifting and squirming, trying to get herself comfortable. The floor, however, no matter how she twisted, was still the floor.

"Sakura."

Sakura froze, realizing Sasuke was still awake.

"You can have the bed," he said.

"No!" Sakura said. "You're sick."

Sasuke sighed and turned away from her. Hearing her shift around more, Sasuke's eye twitched. Throwing off the covers, he got up and effortlessly picked Sakura up, sleeping bag and all, and set her down on the other side of the bed before lying back down.

Sakura lay perfectly still next to Sasuke, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Not wanting to irritate him, she didn't move, recalling their genin days when he would get annoyed when she and Naruto shuffled around. Making sure she was to the edge as far as she could be, Sakura fell asleep.

* * *

_AN: Please review! I love hearing what you think, or might want to see in the story, and also thoughts on the new chapters. So... what did ya think about Naruto's fainting spell... I'm currently undecided._


	4. Resistance

_AN: ... Yeah, I don't have anything to say, but I always put this here, so enjoy!_

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Chapter Four: Resistance

That night, Sakura woke up to Sasuke screaming. Shuffling around absent mindedly in her sleeping bag, Sakura finally released herself from its confines and turned over to see Sasuke shaking and sweating. His entire body was trembling in fear as he muttered things she couldn't understand. Frightened, Sakura shook him

"Sasuke!"

"Sasuke! Wake up, you're having a nightmare!"

Sensing a change in his unconscious state, Sakura leaned back. Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes opened, and the bright red of his sharingan was boring through her. Immobilized by genjutsu, Sakura panicked, realizing Sasuke was still asleep… His sharingan shouldn't even be able to work… and yet, she was slipping further and further into his genjutsu.

Unable to fight it any longer, Sakura fell on top of him, lost in his genjutsu. As she stood in a shadowy room, Sakura realized she was already in the jutsu. Trying to understand how he activated his sharingan in his sleep, Sakura thought back through all the ingredients in the medicine she made…

"Damn it!" Sakura muttered.

One of the drugs she had given him was a hallucinogen, but one that normally affected very few people, but when it did, it took hold of them. Looking around, Sakura finally noticed the child in the floor, crying.

"Sasuke?" Sakura whispered. The child looked up at her, startled, but before she could reach out for him everything was changing. She was in a strange world where she couldn't tell what was up or down and everything was black.

"Sakura."

Sakura turned around and saw Sasuke standing a few meters behind her. He was looking at her, seeing her clearly, his sharingan activated. Seeing his reflection in the shiny black surface beneath them, Sakura glanced at her own, surprised to see her old outfit and yet, long hair.

"Sasuke," she said, her voice startled, "What is this?"

Sasuke looked around as if he were seeing something that she wasn't. "I don't know."

Suddenly, Sakura slipped, and as she fell through the endless black, memories flashed before her. His brother leaving him after telling him to kill his best friend for power, Sasuke looking at her thirteen year old self as she told him she loved him, Naruto unconscious beneath him and Orochimaru handing him a katana. Everything seemed to fade into the background except the blade. As she stared at it, blood began to fleck its shiny silver surface until it was drenched in red. Feeling the tears rushing down her skin, Sakura finally stopped falling and saw Sasuke raising his bloodied sword to her, clearly feeling his intent to kill her should she attack. Alarmed, Sakura tried to call out to him, but she couldn't. She was trapped with no way to communicate.

The scene faded away again and all that was left was Sasuke in the endless black void on his knees, his head in his hands and tears streaming down his skin. The memories were no longer wisps of smoke too distant for him to recall, but suffocating him.

"Sasuke!" Sakura cried, realizing the drug was tormenting him with his memories.

She rushed to his side, but the floor she couldn't see seemed to collapse beneath her making her fall. It was like it was turning so she was sliding away from Sasuke, so that she couldn't reach him.

"Sasuke! You have to take my hand!" Sakura yelled, trying to get through to him. "You can't break this genjutsu alone… because you cast it. You have to take my hand!"

Barely hanging on, Sakura saw Sasuke glance down at her, his face an expression of agony… but he saw her.

"Sasuke! You have to hold onto me! Or we'll both be lost in this… please, Sasuke," she said.

Just when Sakura felt she couldn't hold on any longer, she felt Sasuke's hand grab her wrist and pull her into his arms.

Sakura felt a deep breath of air spread through her veins as she panted against Sasuke's chest. She could feel the bed beneath her, and smell the alcohol Sasuke cleaned with the night before… they were back in the room. Looking up at him, Sakura pressed her hand to his forehead and felt the fever getting worse.

"Sasuke!"

Lying him back on the bed, Sakura put him into an induced coma while she desperately tried to reduce the fever and calm his mind.

Finally stabilizing him, Sakura stared down at his face, red streaks running down his skin. Sakura held back her tears as she realized what she did to him before she thrust herself down against his chest and held him, the pain he felt still fresh in her mind.

Holding him tighter, Sakura tried to get the images out of her mind. Everything Sasuke had suppressed was now in the forefront of both of their minds and Sakura was having a hard time accepting what she had seen. Itachi… how could Sasuke have… dealt with such a thing? And seeing her from his perspective… shocked her. She had had so much of an impact on Sasuke that he felt the need to bury the memory? Fisting her hands in his robe, Sakura resisted the urge to wake him up and hug him.

When Sasuke finally woke up on his own, Sakura was sitting beside him with her knees crossed, meditating. Noticing him, she opened her eyes and looked over.

Sasuke sat up and rubbed his head. "Did something happen last night?"

Sakura smiled. "You just had a bit of a nightmare."

Sasuke nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, Sakura handed him a plate of breakfast and sat down with him to eat.

"I remember when you used to have nightmares when we were genin," Sakura said.

Sasuke hmphed.

Sakura thought back to those times, recalling how it scared her… she had no idea how terrible they actually were though. Maybe if she had understood them she would have understood why Sasuke felt so obligated to leave.

"It's funny," Sakura went on, "how ever since that night you woke up with Naruto sleeping curled up next to you they seemed to stop."

Sasuke actually laughed. "Yeah, because I was too scared to fall asleep and find the dobe snuggled up next to me again."

Sakura stared at him, wondering if the reflux of memories had made Sasuke a little more like his old self. Either way, she was glad he had smiled.

Sakura chuckled too, responding, "You started to only sleep with me in the middle after that."

Sasuke smiled, but it faded soon. "Yeah, but that didn't last long."

As if his mind had been plunged back into darkness again, Sasuke's smile was gone.

"I know why you left, Sasuke, but that's all in the past now. Itachi wanted you to return… you can do that now. You don't have to be alone anymore. Naruto is busy and all, but we will still see him. We could all go out for ramen again…"

Sasuke leaned back on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he listened to Sakura talk. He could envision everything she said, and as he did, he felt himself smiling… until he realized it was all nothing but a dream that he could see as he fell asleep…

A few days later Sakura sat down beside Sasuke to begin another session of pouring all of her chakra into him to combat the poison since she couldn't give him the medicine. This was a tedious way of treating him, but clearly necessary since she almost killed him the other night. It took nearly an hour, but afterward, Sasuke seemed to be feeling much better. Leaning against the head board, exhausted, Sakura smiled.

"You know, Sasuke, everyone will be happy to see you back in the village," she said.

Sasuke seemed lost in thought and asked, "What about Naruto?"

Recalling the last time they saw each other, Sakura felt her heart grow cold and a great desire to comfort Sasuke.

"Of course he will," Sakura said, feeling drowsy. "He was the one who sent me on this mission after all."

Watching him carefully, Sakura thought for a moment he looked sad.

"He has become Hokage, you know," Sakura said.

Sasuke looked up at her, surprised.

"And the wedding is in a few months," Sakura said, not catching Sasuke's eyes widening in shock, "everyone was hoping you would be back in time for it."

Sasuke turned away from her. "So… you and Naruto?"

Sakura's eyes shot open and flew to his back before she laughed. "Naruto has been dating Hinata Hyuuga for years now… How could you think me and Naruto…"

Sakura felt wide awake now after hearing Sasuke's tone… he seemed shocked and confused, and it made her equally confused.

"Why did you seem so shocked, Sasuke?" she asked.

Sasuke turned back to her and smirked. "It was just the thought of you and Naruto… it made my stomach turn."

Sakura laughed. "Yeah, makes me sick too."

"You know, Sasuke," Sakura said, curling up on the bed. "I'm really glad you're coming back."

Sasuke looked at Sakura, curled neatly on the bed, and couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

"What is it, Sasuke?" she asked, sensing his eyes on her.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you're not with Naruto."

Sakura laughed and asked him why, but he didn't answer her.

Picking up a magazine, Sasuke stared at it, trying to make out the images. His vision had begun slowly coming back to him as Sakura had begun to break down the source of the genjutsu, and he was surprised at how quickly he was beginning to see. He thought the massive presence of foreign chakra in his body was also speeding along the progress.

Sakura got up and mentioned she was going to take a shower, and as she moved across the room, Sasuke could almost make out her pink hair. He couldn't understand it, but for some reason, every time she recalled some old memory, or said something familiar, a memory he had long forgotten was rushed to the forefront of his mind and seemed to overwhelm him. He felt like his mind was at war with itself, fighting over whether to suppress the memories or hold onto them…

Sasuke sighed, realizing he had zoned out. Hearing the bathroom door open, Sakura walked out, and he realized that he could see her much more clearly than before.

Soon, Sakura was walking from the bathroom to her clothes wearing nothing but a towel. Suddenly, Sasuke's vision was perfect. He could see the water droplets dripping down her skin, the wet tendrils of hair cascading down her back, the soft swell of her breasts under her towel, the curve of her hips….

"Can you see me?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped on hers for a moment before he immediately looked away. He could sense Sakura's blush as she grabbed her clothes and rushed back into the bathroom.

"So you can see better?" Sakura asked upon returning.

Sasuke nodded.

"Good, I need your help," she said.

Handing Sasuke some ointment, Sakura glanced at him nervously, still awkwardly aware of the way he was looking at her earlier, before she pulled up her shirt. "I got a wound the other day when I went out… it doesn't seem to respond to my chakra, so I will have to let it heal on its own."

Sakura winced as she touched the long gash just along her rib cage

"I don't see a wound, Sakura," Sasuke said.

Sakura lay down, "You need to use your sharingan."

Sasuke frowned. "Are you sure that I can?"

Sakura nodded and watched as he activated it and winced a bit at the pain. "I see it… what is this from Sakura?"

"Umm, it was a genjutsu trap," she said.

Sasuke seemed to stare at is a bit longer than necessary before he dabbed on the ointment across her entire torso.

"Thank you," she muttered, standing up. Feeling Sasuke's hand grab her, she realized he was behind her and pressed his other against her ribs, frowning.

"Why didn't you tell me you got hurt," he said, closer to her than he had ever been.

Sakura turned around and watched as his sharingan faded and she muttered, "It's nothing, really."

Then, unsure of what exactly he was doing, Sasuke touched his hand to her face, and looked at her, trying to see the little girl he used to know in this woman.

Sakura looked at him like he was having some kind of mental lapse, and for a moment, Sasuke almost leaned in to kiss her, forgetting momentarily who this beautiful woman before him was…

As if she suddenly understood something, Sakura's expression became relaxed, and Sasuke's senses became unclouded as he saw Sakura and recalled the scar she had kept hidden.

"You know, don't you?" she asked.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at her. "Why didn't you tell me, Sakura? I can tell my sharingan caused that wound, I just don't know how you got it."

Sakura bowed her head. "I don't think you want to know, Sasuke."

Sasuke felt almost like something foreign was invading his mind as he stepped closer to Sakura. "I want to know about anything that hurts you, Sakura."

Tilting her chin up to him, Sasuke noticed the sparkling green irises shining with confusion.

"Sakura," he murmured, and even as he said it, it sounded like someone else. But Sasuke couldn't stop himself as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her.


	5. Disturbing the Calm

_AN: Glad you guys are enjoying it so far! I plan to update every couple days. Oh, and a lot of you are concerned about too fast of development and Sasuke being OOC and there is good reason for it, so no worries! ; ) Pay attention to this chapter though, because if you miss some parts it will be horribly confusing! _

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Chapter Five: Disturbing the Calm

It was only a few moments before Sakura pulled away in a hurry and Sasuke closed his arms around her, tugging her back against his chest.

"What are you doing, Sasuke?" she asked.

"Don't act like you haven't always wanted this, Sakura. You've waited all this time for me… don't deny it," he murmured in her ear.

Sakura trembled in his arms. "You know I'd do anything for you, Sasuke… but please, don't use me like this."

Sasuke traced his lips against her skin. "But what other use do I have for you, now that I've recovered?"

Sakura's eyes widened. "But…"

"Do you want to stay with me or not?"

Sakura's breath caught in her throat as she realized what he was saying. "Then… you never planned to go back to Konoha with me?"

Sasuke kissed her neck. "What will it be Sakura? Stay with me like this, or return alone?"

Sakura's body began to shake as she closed her eyes, fighting the terrible feeling rising within her. "Sasuke, please, don't do this to me… come back with me!"

Sasuke slipped his hand under her shirt, feeling the smooth skin of her stomach, making her freeze in place. "We both already know what your choice is, Sakura… Just accept it."

Suddenly, a distant clicking sound made Sasuke's eyes snap open and he found himself sitting on the bed, staring at nothing, and Sakura not in his arms anymore. Taking a deep shaky breath, Sasuke realized it had all been a dream, and hearing the bathroom door open, Sasuke turned to see Sakura emerging in her towel, just like before.

Still stunned, Sasuke watched her as she crossed the room, seeing her with crystal clear vision. Then he remembered the conversation. Getting up, Sasuke activated his sharingan and walked directly to her, causing her to glance at him suspiciously, but Sasuke didn't say a word as he pulled her towel down, staring at the scar on her ribs.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked, covering her chest, but Sasuke didn't seem to notice.

"This scar—where did you get it?" Sasuke demanded.

Sakura stared at him, realizing he was looking right at her. Seeing how shaken he looked, Sakura pulled on her clothes.

"Sasuke, what's wrong? Can you see me? Did something happen? Is your vision finally getting clear?" she asked.

Sasuke stared straight into her eyes, unnerving her. "Why didn't you tell me I hurt you?"

Sakura frowned and pressed her hand to the wound. "It wasn't your fault Sasuke. It was mine."

Sitting down, Sakura touched her hand to his forehead and noticed a bit of the fever returning. "You're stressing yourself out, you shouldn't do this or you'll ruin the progress we've made. Please, don't worry about it. I'm fine."

Taking deep breaths, Sasuke looked at her oddly again before he laid back and closed his eyes, pretending to ignore her the rest of the evening. He couldn't keep from replaying his dream over and over again in his mind… Sakura looked just like she had then, as if he had seen her before. Her hair was longer than when they were genin, her body completely different, but her eyes… they were still the same. He couldn't seem to shake the feeling… of wanting her… a feeling Sasuke had never felt before. Flashes of her in his mind were slowly coming back to him, and with them, floods of memories he had long ago locked away. What had happened to him?

Just when Sakura was about to climb into bed, Sasuke finally broke his silence.

"So what about you, Sakura?" Sasuke asked.

Brows furrowing, Sakura looked over at him and said, "Huh?"

"You said Naruto has been dating the Hyuuga girl. What have you been doing these last few years?" he said.

Sakura blushed, trying to figure out what exactly Sasuke was asking her. Taking the easy route, she muttered something about training.

Sasuke scowled at her typical answer.

Sitting up a bit, Sakura twisted to glance at him. "What about you? Surely you found someone in all this time."

Sasuke just looked at her expressionlessly.

"Sakura."

The way Sasuke said her name made all thought process stop. What could have gotten into him?

Sasuke really wasn't sure what was possessing him and allowing these thoughts or that strange dream, but something about the shock he felt before about believing Sakura and Naruto were…. _together_… had made him feel like he had lost something. Subconsciously, Sasuke had _always_ seen Sakura as his. He had expected her to wait her entire life should he ever decide to concern himself with her and having the idea of her and Naruto put in his mind made him feel like it was possible that someone else could lay claim to her before he did.

Feeling uncomfortable, Sakura sat up. "Sasuke what's going on?"

Turning back to look at him, she could see it now… how clearly he was looking at her. It was haunting… the way his black eyes could penetrate so deeply into her… how perfectly his hair framed his face… how he claimed her just by looking at her.

The next thing she knew, Sasuke was standing over her, his hand sliding into her hair, pulling her to the edge of the bed. He leaned in closer to her, her eyes widening the entire time he did so, until his lips were against her skin.

"Sakura," he said. "I want you."

Feeling her heart jump out of her chest, Sakura leaned back to look at him. His words seemed to tie her down, keeping her fixed in place just beneath him. It was now apparent to her that Sasuke had finally grown into his body and realized he had human needs…

"Sasuke," she said, "Please don't do this to me."

Sasuke scowled. "You've wanted this for a long time, Sakura. Why not take it now that it's right in front of you, now that I see how much you have to offer."

Sakura felt her skin grow hot at his words. "Because, Sasuke, you said yourself you don't care about me and Naruto anymore… and you know that I'm still in love with you… so, please, don't toy with me."

Her voice was frantic and Sasuke couldn't help but feel annoyed by her rambling.

"Sex doesn't have to mean anything, Sakura," Sasuke said, his tone clearly annoyed, and Sakura got the distinct feeling he was pouting as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"And that's exactly why I refuse to do this."

Sasuke leaned back and let her go but his gaze rested on her heavily, keeping her from moving. The way he looked at her… it was so desperate, so in need of her, and Sakura felt like she was being pulled towards him more than being released.

Sasuke couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her ever since he regained his vision and had that dream... She was different. She was still… Sakura… but she was beautiful. In his dream he saw only this beautiful woman… now he could see this beautiful woman for _Sakura…_ _his_ Sakura. The little girl he had once believed might be his only path to having a family again. The little girl who begged him to stay with her… who told him she loved him. Sasuke wanted her so badly and yet he had no idea how to explain this to her and no good reason to tell her for why he wanted it so much. He didn't understand it himself.

_He just wanted to get rid of it._

Breathing evening and closing his eyes, Sasuke's expression almost became a smirk. "You once said you'd do anything for me," Sasuke said, his voice calculating.

Sakura's entire being flew into shock as she recalled her words from so long ago.

Sasuke opened his eyes, watching her. "I want this."

She could feel a presence in the air around her that was making her skin crawl as he watched her with hungry eyes—black eyes. She felt a twinge of fear simply because of way he looked at her. This wasn't the Sasuke she had fallen in love with, and she feared she would never see that Sasuke again. And yet… she knew she didn't have it in her to ever tell him no.

Sasuke's hand gripped her waist, and Sakura felt as if she was being pulled into the dark blank void along with him unable to save either of them. Is this all that they would ever have?

Pushing her back, Sasuke leaned down over her. He was pressed against her so intimately, Sakura wasn't sure she even _wanted_ to tell him no, but she couldn't deny how wrong it felt in her heart and she knew she was losing him even more by letting him do this. She had never felt scared of Sasuke before, but now she was truly in fear of what he might make of himself. She was scared _for_ him.

He held her there, his hand under her neck for a long time, just watching her. Sasuke couldn't keep from recalling his dream, how readily he had been willing to hurt her… and now, he was about to do it again. Seeing the hurt he was causing her, Sasuke suddenly felt disgusted with himself.

"Sakura," he said, his lips hovering above her. He wanted to say something, anything to keep her from thinking he was the monster he had felt like before… but he couldn't form the words. Pulling away from her hastily, Sasuke muttered, "This would be much easier if you would stop loving me."

Exhausted and breathing heavily, Sakura tried to catch her breath when Sasuke wasn't near her anymore.

"I know."

That night, Sasuke couldn't sleep because he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Sakura. He was still surprised that she had denied him—he really didn't think she had it in her. Now, more than before, he wanted to touch her, but now, there was some other emotion he couldn't identify attached to it. He felt at peace as he watched the rising and falling of her chest, lying beside her while she was in such a state of rest. He had used to think, as a child and part of team seven, that they would be his future—Sakura and Naruto. That one day, he would end up with Sakura. For some reason, he had forgotten that until recently. Perhaps being around her made the feelings resurface, but now Sasuke didn't know what to do with them. Now, more than ever before, he needed to be away from her. His world had been fine before… lightless and fine. Now, Sakura, like a broken ray of light pouring into his dark world that wasn't quite reaching him, was disturbing the calm that he had found.

What Sasuke didn't understand was he was only used to pain and chaos, and Sakura was the calm that was disturbing his world of eternal darkness.

* * *

_AN: Review please! And just for clarification, Sasuke's dream was sort of what he perceives himself to be… since that genjutsu experience, he has been remembering things and being with Sakura has made him realize subconsciously how much he has changed, he just hasn't accepted it as truth. The dream was like a warning from his conscious. And another clarification: Sasuke's vision returned in reality just like it came back in the dream. He can see now. I'm also writing this AN days and days after I wrote this, so I'm trying to go back and get it all straight myself.. heh heh, sorry. Let me know if anyone sees any problems. I added a few lines to chapter four for further clarification, but I think it was okay before. Also changed something further back I think about him noticing a pack… he didn't see it, he heard it spill over. Anyway, sorry for being confusing!! No more confusion though, things get less complicated from here on out!_


	6. Nowhere to Belong

Chapter Six: Nowhere to Belong

Several days passed that were tense for both of them. At one point, Sasuke brushed past her, and completely against her will, she flinched. Both pretended it didn't happen, but they were also both aware that the other one knew it did.

The entire situation was really getting to Sakura. She couldn't stand the strange tension between them now and desperately needed to fix it. She missed how they had been able to talk to each other easily and it wasn't so uncomfortable. Sakura was getting more than a little unnerved at the silence they had fallen into and finally snapped after completing an exam. She had determined Sasuke was very close to being at full health and they would be able to leave soon and there was no way she was going back to Konoha in complete silence.

"You know, Sasuke, I realize this is going to be a rough transition for all of us when you are back in the village, but I know it's all going to work out," she said, breaking the ice.

Sasuke gave her a nonplussed look.

Sakura smiled. "There're a lot of things I always wanted to do."

After a few moments and Sasuke didn't say anything, Sakura was about to give up when he responded.

"Like what?"

Sakura turned back to him sporting a huge grin.

Sasuke continued to watch her and the devious smirk she had plastered on her face. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk back at her briefly as he realized what she meant. Sakura wasn't normally the flirty type, so it had caught him off guard.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter, Sasuke, I was talking about sparring," she said.

Sasuke didn't play into her little jab at him. Apparently he was aware she was completely truthful about what she had hinted at.

"Sparring? With who?"

Sakura gave him an annoyed look. "With you."

Sasuke stopped packing his bag and looked at her. "No."

Taking a few steps closer, Sakura watched him with the pretense she was only amused when she was actually very irritated.

"Why not?"

Sasuke actually hnned her.

"What? You think it wouldn't be worth your time?" Sakura badgered.

Sasuke looked up at her again, now right in front of him. "I wouldn't want you to get hurt is all, Sakura."

Immediately she was on him, her hands restraining his over his head. Apparently she had infused chakra into her hold because he couldn't break it. He stared up at her and couldn't help but be amused at her temper. It was too bad for her Sasuke could get out of practically any hold. Catching her thigh with his leg, Sasuke hit a pressure point causing her to retract instantly, throwing her backwards onto the other side of the bed and catching her back in her own hold. Only this time, he had his legs twisted around her, bodily restraining her.

Sakura puffed a few strands of hair out of her face and looked up at Sasuke with blatant irritation. Sasuke smirked at her failed attempt to prove she was worthy of being his sparring partner before he laughed lightly at her attitude.

Seeing his good mood over her pride being stomped on Sakura felt herself smiling. He looked like an entirely different person when he laughed… she would even take the smirk whenever she could get it. When he pulled himself off of her and let her go, she couldn't resist from telling him how happy it made her to see him laugh. The comment seemed to sober Sasuke.

"Why can't you just let yourself be happy?"

Sasuke closed his eyes. "Because every time I realize what that feeling is, I realize how much it hurt to lose it. I'd rather be alone than have to feel that pain again."

Sakura felt more than saw the memories of Sasuke's past and suddenly, she understood what he meant and she had nothing to say.

# # #

"Let's go out into the village," Sakura said. She had concluded that Sasuke's vision was as good as it was going to get. She had broken the genjutsu, but for some reason she felt certain that it would somehow set back in given time… but Sasuke didn't need to know that. As long as he was with her, she could take care of it, so what was the point of giving him a potential reason to not go back to the village? She insisted they wait a few more days to travel the long journey back to Konoha though because Sasuke's body was still recovering as the poison lessened under her supervision. Soon he would be back to perfect health, but until then, it wasn't safe to leave the village knowing they might have to face enemies.

"What do you want to do that for?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura's brightened face fell at his tone. "Let's go get lunch. Surely the village is a little less tense now."

Sasuke turned and looked at her. "They are under a military occupation. What makes you think they are any more okay with it than before?"

Sure enough, Sasuke had been right. The people looked even more scared than they did before. Besides quick trips right outside their inn they hadn't been far and didn't really get a feel for what was going on. It was clear now how terrible this war was for the people.

"Hey! Get back here you little runt!"

Sakura turned to look down the side street they were passing and noticed a little boy running for his life. Seeing the armful of vegetables he had, and the guard chasing him, it wasn't difficult to figure out what was going on. The market district seemed to freeze as the guard with the foreign headband snatched him making him drop all of the food. When Sakura saw him raise his hand with a kunai held tight, she couldn't stop herself. Her foot was in the guard's rib cage immediately sending him crashing into a nearby cart. Picking the little boy up, Sakura pulled him closer to her protectively as she saw other ninja approaching.

"Hey bitch with the pink hair! You have no business interfering with our affairs. Now you best let go of that thief before you get caught up in this too," he said.

Sakura glared at the man. "What did this child do? He clearly is starving by the looks of him and it's because of your military operation in this village that these people don't have access to their own food. It's clear you have confiscated it for your movement. Now if you know what's good for you, you'll leave this boy alone and forget it."

The ninja around her drew their weapons and just as Sakura was about prepare to defend her and the boy, four of the five guards collapsed to the ground. Noticing one of them form seals she recognized he was releasing himself from a genjutsu. Sensing his attack, Sakura braced herself but for a blow that never came. In a flash, Sasuke was in front of her, his hand gripping ninja's arm, holding it to tight he was forced to drop the kunai in his hand.

"Unless you wish to die, you will forget this ever happened," Sasuke said, releasing his arm and kicking the man into the mess of the cart the first one was still unconscious amidst.

Sakura stared at the back of Sasuke's head shocked that he had defended her like that. She honestly didn't expect him to care at all from the way he was ignoring the situation from the beginning, but he had surprised her.

"Sasuke…"

"Let's go," he said, turning around and returning to the main street.

Slipping some of her money into the boy's hand, Sakura followed after him.

# # #

The people in the street seemed to be aware of what had happened and when they found place to eat lunch, they refused to let them pay. Sasuke seemed disgruntled by this, but Sakura could only laugh at him.

"You should be happy Sasuke, you did something good today," Sakura chimed.

Sasuke frowned. "We shouldn't interfere here. This isn't our problem."

"But how can you stand idly by and do nothing when someone needs your help? It's not right," Sakura stated.

Sasuke didn't respond but simply watched her out of the corner of his eye. She had certainly become stronger.

"When did you change so much, Sakura?"

Sakura glanced at him giving him a strange look.

"What do you mean?"

"You're different. People change from experience, so what happened to you?" he asked indifferently.

Sakura thought earnestly about what he was saying. "I suppose it was when I fought that Akatsuki member."

Sasuke looked startled.

"His name was Sasori of the Red Sands… a puppet master. I had help, and I would have surely been dead without it, but still, I learned a lot in that fight. I had never been so determined to live while simultaneously thinking I was certainly going to die," she mused.

Sasuke suddenly felt very uncomfortable at the prospect of Sakura having been near death. "Where were Kakashi and Naruto?"

"Oh, they were gone chasing after Gaara," she said. "The whole reason I stayed there was because I wanted information about Orochimaru… it was how we found the hideout you were at back then…"

Sasuke couldn't keep his alarm to himself that time. His eyes widened in shock and he suddenly felt sick. "You almost got killed trying to get information about me?"

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Sasuke," Sakura said begrudgingly.

"You should have never come looking for me then," Sasuke said.

Sakura's eyes narrowed in irritation but she dropped it. Several moments of silence passed before Sasuke asked her another question.

"Why did you insist on looking for me? I know Naruto has this problem with never giving up, but why you? You were the most logical of the three of us… you should have understood I wasn't going back."

Sakura smiled sadly. "But you're coming back now. You wouldn't be if I had given up."

Sasuke was taken aback by her statement and the guilt forced him to change the subject. "But why?"

Sakura's smile faded. "Isn't it obvious? Love blinds people. I didn't see reason or logic when it came to you… and I still don't."

Sasuke was quiet until they reached the edge of the shopping district and they ran out of places to walk.

"Why, Sakura?"

He didn't need to explain himself. She knew what he meant.

"I don't know, Sasuke. But it's always been you and I don't think anything is going to change that," she said.

Sasuke was about to say something when he heard someone shouting. Looking up the first thing he noticed was Sakura's look of surprise.

Feeling a kunai strike her in the leg, Sakura hit her knees before she grabbed the blade and ripped it out of her leg. Trying to force her healing ninjutsu only exhausted her further since she had little chakra. All she could manage was to lessen the bleeding. They were both caught off guard.

Seeing Sakura hit the ground, Sasuke sensed the attacks coming from behind them as everyone in the street ran from the scene. Grabbing the nin's arms and snapping it, Sasuke noticed the rest of them. They had been watching them, planning this.

"Chidori Nagashi!"

The lightning swept out all around him disabling everyone besides Sakura whom looked like she was about to pass out. Grabbing her and pulling her up into his arms, Sasuke ran. He didn't have time to access the situation and even if he did, it was unlike he could protect Sakura in such a tight setting.

"Sakura," Sasuke yelled, gripping her tighter as she slipped. Glancing down at her as he covered ground Sasuke saw she was unconscious. Pulling her head against his chest, he quickened his pace.

After a half hour, Sasuke was convinced he was either far enough ahead to be able to stop, or they hadn't followed. Dropping to the forest floor, Sasuke laid Sakura down finally able to look at her leg. Seeing the blood streaming down her leg he immediately ripped part of his clothing and tied it around the wound as tightly as he could. Taking a piece of rope, he applied it like a tourniquet before he pressed his hand to her throat, feeling how weak her pulse was.

"Damn it," he muttered.

She was pale and extremely cold.

"Sakura, wake up!"

Sasuke shook her gently, and finally she came around but was very disorientated.

"Sasuke? What happened?" Trying to stand, Sakura gasped in pain as she realized how damaged her leg was.

She strained herself to look down at it. "It hit my femoral artery… I clotted it as best I could before I passed out, but it wasn't enough and I have no chakra. It will only take a few hours for me to bleed out."

Sasuke stared at the wound seeing his wrapping already soaked with blood. Tearing another piece he rewrapped it even tighter.

"What do I do, Sakura?"

Sakura strained again to look at the wound. "You have to stitch it up."

Sasuke actually glared at her with frustration. "With what?"

Struggling to reach into her pouch, Sakura pulled out a small summoning scroll and formed a hand seal. Seeing a medical kit, Sasuke grabbed it and dumped out the contents searching for what he needed.

Finding it, Sasuke paused. "Sakura I have no idea how to do this."

Hearing no response, Sasuke glanced up at her to see her breathing had increased and she was sweating.

Sasuke did his best despite having no experience. The only thing that was really bothering him was Sakura's screams of pain.

"Sakura," he said, "I'm going to knock you out."

"No!" she cried. "I need to try to clot the vein, or this is all futile. And besides, you have no idea what you are doing."

Cringing as he closed the wound, Sasuke sensed another presence behind them.

"We have to go, Sakura," he said, lifting her in his arms. "They caught up to us."

Sakura gripped Sasuke's arm as he picked her up and rushed off too fast for her to not be disgruntled about it. However, as she felt how tightly he was gripping her, Sakura suddenly relaxed, trying to allow her chakra to replenish itself. Somehow, she felt like she could trust Sasuke.

* * *

_AN: Please review!_


	7. Silent Tears

Chapter Seven: Silent Tears

When Sasuke finally lost the nins following them, he found a hidden spot in the forest and set Sakura against a tree. A few meters away, he sat on the earthen floor and leaned against another tree, watching her as her head rolled onto her shoulder. At least when she woke up she would be able to heal her wound. Sasuke watched her blankly trying to understand what he was feeling. Seeing her in pain, hearing her scream… it made him feel horrible and brought back memories long forgotten.

Later that night Sakura awoke with a stiff back and an incredible pain in her leg. Seeing Sasuke leaning against a tree opposite her she saw he was awake and staring at the ground with half-lidded eyes. She wasn't used to seeing Sasuke tired or anything less than perfectly alert, but seeing him now made him seem so human to her. It was completely disturbing.

"What's wrong, Sasuke?"

Without moving, his gaze drifted up towards her. She wasn't expecting him to answer, and in her half dead state, Sakura almost didn't even notice when he did.

Sasuke watched her as she struggled to stay focused on him and heard how hard it seemed just for her to speak. And when she did, it was out of concern for him. Did he not owe her an answer? She had risked everything to find him and heal him, so this one last time, could he not answer her?

"What I said before… about you and Naruto… That wasn't necessarily true."

As if she thought she had misunderstood him, her expression scrunched and she shook her head a bit. Ignoring her, Sasuke went on.

"It's just that, you and Naruto made it hard for me. I couldn't do what needed to be done while I was worried about the two of you. I left because I hated caring about you so much."

Finally a little more cognizant, Sakura watched him more clearly, trying to tell if she was hallucinating or not. Finally able to associate the pain with reality, Sakura felt her chest begin to hurt. She had waited so long to hear anything of the sort come out of his mouth and…

"We don't hold anything against you for leaving though. So why is it so hard to come back to us?" Sakura asked, not hearing the desperation in her voice.

Sasuke stared at his hands. "I don't feel like I belong in Konoha anymore… not after what happened."

Sakura felt the pleasant pain in her chest become horribly unpleasant. It was as if he had let her in, but only to tell her she wasn't welcome. "What would make you feel like you belonged?"

There was a long silence between them during which Sakura finally began to feel the chill in the air against her nearly numb skin. It was as if she was preparing for the terrible truth that she had always known deep down, but couldn't withstand hearing it out loud. But no matter how much she willed it away, it still came.

"I don't know that anything ever will."

The unsaid words were louder than anything Sasuke could have spoken and they echoed over the sound of the forest around them, chilling her blood… and freezing her tears…

_Not even you, Sakura._

# # #

After a troubled night of rest, Sakura had regained enough of her chakra for them to travel again. Her pace was slower than normal, and she had a feeling Sasuke was going much slower for her, but at least she was up after healing her leg. She would have been at full strength had she not been thinking about what Sasuke had said. She couldn't get the discomfort out of her body. It really shouldn't have been a surprise though—Sasuke had always been like that. He didn't think he had a future in Konoha… she would just have to prove to him that he was wrong.

"Sasuke?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her.

"Do you really think… that we couldn't be happy together one day?" she asked quietly.

Sasuke didn't say anything, and before she knew whether he was ignoring her or not a bizarre harsh wind swept through the area and Sakura was thrown off balance. Grasping for the tree branch, but failing, Sakura fell to the ground, but landed safely in Sasuke's arms. Feeling his rush, she opened her eyes to find they were in the hollow of a tree. The wind jutsu they had been attacked with was still blowing past the opening of the tree and Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but Sasuke immediately clamped his hand over it to keep her quiet.

When the jutsu finally stopped, they heard voices and Sasuke pulled her back against his chest tighter, keeping his hand firmly over her mouth. Hearing the nin draw closer, Sakura kept her chakra masked and listened. It was the nin from the village they stayed in. She couldn't believed they were following them this far. Hearing them finally move on, Sakura jerked Sasuke's hand away from her mouth.

"Can we get out of here yet?" she whispered.

"Not unless you want me to have to kill them," he said.

Sakura scowled, but didn't move from Sasuke's hold.

"We need to wait for them to move on in the wrong direction," he said, "they are tracking us, but apparently with old methods and not smell."

Sakura nodded and closed her eyes. "How long should we wait here?"

"A few hours at least," he said.

Sakura stared out into the woods as she watched the day fade away.

"You didn't answer my question," Sakura said.

Sasuke stared down at the girl leaning against his chest and tried to think of anything to say that would appease her.

"I don't know."

Sakura smiled at his words, hearing only the hope that came along with it.

"You'll see, Sasuke-kun, one day, that you were meant to be with me and Naruto," Sakura said.

Sasuke stared out at the light diminishing in the woods, his eyes half-lidded. "Let's make camp."

# # #

After they found a non-cramped, but tight, portion of forest floor between a thick group of trees to block the night wind, they cleared the brush and made it as warm as it was going to get. Still exhausted, Sakura lay down and snuggled into the fetal position. Her body was shivering and she wished they had been able to grab their packs before they left the village.

Sasuke laid flat on his back, staring up at the patches of the night sky he could see through the treetops. Sakura's hope was infectious and he felt shaken by having spent the last several days with her. His resolve was weakened by her, just like it always had been in the past… her and Naruto made him weak.

Hearing Sakura's shivering, Sasuke glanced over at her seeing her shaking slightly. Frowning, Sasuke reached out and pulled her over to him, wrapping his arms around her torso and sliding his knees to the back of hers, and then he felt Sakura startle awake. Her body tensed as he pulled her even closer.

"You were freezing," Sasuke muttered.

Sakura could feel his warm breath on her neck and the warmth of his body all over her. Finally relaxing into his hold, Sakura smiled.

"Thank you, Sasuke."

He held her like that all night and Sakura couldn't sleep without dreams of how close she had come to sleeping with him before, and how good it felt to be in his arms. Real hope despite Sasuke's less than pleasant outlook began to form in her dreams… hope that they might really be together. Sleeping peacefully, Sakura twisted in his arms, pulling him closer to her. Sasuke didn't move as he watched her snuggle against his chest, but he didn't stop her either.

The thought of not being with her suddenly made him remember his dream.

_Sasuke kissed her neck. "What will it be Sakura? Stay with me like this, or return alone?"_

_Sakura's body began to shake as she closed her eyes, fighting the terrible feeling rising within her. "Sasuke, please, don't do this to me… come back with me!"_

_Sasuke slipped his hand under her shirt, feeling the smooth skin of her stomach, making her freeze in place. "We both already know what your choice is, Sakura… Just accept it."_

Sasuke frowned at what he had said to her. He knew now that this dream version of himself was who he used to be, and that Sakura was what had changed him. He could never tear her away from Konoha for his own selfish reasons… so he could never give her the choice of going with him. Pulling away from her, Sasuke closed his eyes and looked away.

It was time.

Getting up, Sasuke knew he had to go now, before she talked him out of it somehow. He had spent enough time around her and it was already too dangerous. Without looking back, Sasuke took a step forward.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke froze before turning back, seeing Sakura sitting up, her eyes squinting hard to see him in the dark.

Sakura stood up and walked over to him, asking, "What are you doing, Sasuke? You weren't… leaving, were you?"

Sasuke stared at her, seeing the fear in her eyes and for the first time in his life, had no idea how to handle the situation. So he did the only thing he could think to convince her otherwise.

He kissed her.

Sakura felt his hands close around her, his lips against her, so warm and welcome… so wet and soft. Everything about him was what she always wanted… she could _feel_ him, he meant this; he was kissing her because he cared… His grip on her neck was tight, but she didn't care. Sasuke's tongue sliding into her mouth made any thought in her mind vanish and her entire body went numb. Ready for whatever he wanted of her, Sakura kissed him back harder. However, a strange pinch in the back of her neck made her body feel heavy. Feeling the loss of his warmth on her lips, Sakura opened her eyes, seeing him pull away from her. It was suddenly cold… and she felt like she was swaying and would never regain her balance.

Sasuke watched her, feeling almost a bit of fear at what he had just done. He had kissed her… so very _unlike_ he had meant to, but it wasn't something he could have controlled… it was almost… _natural._ She had responded so readily, so not like before. She had surrendered completely, any defense having been dropped in every form… just as he had expected—the entire reason he kissed her at all. As he watched her, her smile and her delight made the pain and guilt mount in his chest. She looked so happy… and apparently was blaming the strange sensations on his kiss.

"Maybe, when we get back, we could do something, Sasuke?" Sakura said, smiling at him. Soon, that smile turned into a smirk. "Perhaps you might get what you wanted before."

Sasuke cringed when he saw her eyes widen in shock as the next stage of the paralyzing gen jutsu he placed on her set in... the pain. Her eyes were alight with fear as she realized her body was not listening to her and soon, she couldn't move at all. When she slipped completely under the genjutsu, Sasuke caught her, laying her gently on the ground, her eyes wide and staring straight up at him.

Sasuke couldn't get her words out of his head. She had believed he meant it when he kissed her… he had given her hope… and that was why he had to get away from her.

Standing up, Sasuke moved towards the edge of the small clearing, but was unable to walk away without looking back one last time. A breeze caught his hair as he turned to glance over his shoulder at the girl he was leaving behind. It was for her own good. But when he saw her watching him, it sent a chill down his spine. Silent tears were falling down her skin and despite how difficult it would be to fight the genjutsu, her lips were moving as her eyes shined with tears.

Unable to ignore her as he watched, Sasuke read her lips as they moved, and that was all he could take. He vanished into the night before the guilt could weaken him further.

* * *

_AN: Sasuke makes me sad! Please review!! There should be a few more chapters still to come… maybe like fourish… I dunno. I've got a few more parts to cover, but I don't particularly like dragging things out._

_AN 2: So this is the last chapter I have completed as of today. I am working on eight… and I have an international flight Monday because I am in the process of moving, so if I don't have this story finished by then, the updates might get scarce for a while. I'm gonna try my damndest to finish it by then though, because this is all the time I have. I appreciate the amazing reviews so much, you guys really are very encouraging and make my day every time I read them!! _


	8. The Pain of Love

_AN: Bear with me on the time/months passing… I think I have it right, but I didn't go check. Pretend it's right if you think it's not. :D Oh, and in response to one review, Sasuke left because he was scared to care about someone so deeply. It's not something he is actively conscious about… he just doesn't want to get hurt again, so he would rather keep his distance from Naruto and Sakura. Hopefully this chapter clears up how much of a moron he truly is, lol._

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Pain of Love

As soon as Sasuke disappeared from her sight, Sakura lost consciousness. Nightmares plagued her for hours, visions of Sasuke leaving her again… a future she would never have with him. When she awoke, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat, she sat up in a panic, her eyes desperately searching for any sign that her memory had too been a nightmare… but the stiffness in her joints and the pain in her head made her aware the second she awoke that it was futile. Jumping to her feet, Sakura dashed into the woods, her arms brushing the branches from her path, her skin getting scratched as she moved.

"Sasuke!" she screamed, forcing chakra she didn't have into her feet to keep her moving, but it didn't work. Sakura collapsed, her fingers digging into the dirt as she searched for any trace of him. Realizing for the first time the splashes of sunlight hitting the ground, Sakura looked up and noticed the sun high in the sky. It was already early afternoon… and it had been pitch black outside when Sasuke left. Feeling her ribs tighten and her lungs restrict, Sakura let her body collapse to the ground, her heart no longer beating rapidly. Everything seemed to slow down, as if there was no point in the passage of time now that she had failed… again.

Now that she had proved how much of a fool she was… again.

"Why do you always have to leave?" Sakura muttered as her consciousness flickered out.

# # #

When Sakura awoke, she couldn't remember anything. Feeling her hands bound and her mouth gagged, Sakura panicked and immediately tried to free herself, but it was futile—she was bound by other ninja. Looking around frantically, Sakura tried to remember what she had been doing to get herself into this mess, but nothing surfaced. Seeing nothing but a cell and a dark hallway beyond the bars, Sakura continued to wiggle around against the cold concrete floor trying to release herself.

Hearing footsteps, she froze, her eyes locked on the hallway, awaiting whoever was coming.

"Finally awake, huh bitch?" he sneered.

Sakura narrowed her eyes, trying to remember his face, but nothing came. His headband was of some obscure village that seemed familiar, but she couldn't name it. Sakura wanted to rage at him, but all she could get was a bunch of muffled sounds.

"So where's your boyfriend? We could have doubled the ransom if we had captured him as well. Hopefully he comes to look for you," he said.

Sakura stared at him dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about.

"Yeah, our boss found out how important you supposedly are to the Hidden Leaf so he sent out a ransom for your life. If they pay it soon, you won't be killed," he went on. Grabbing Sakura by the throat and picking her up off the floor he slammed her back into the wall making her cry out.

"But he didn't say we had to send you back in perfect condition," he said. "I'll pay you back for that stunt you pulled with me you bitch. You cost me my rank and pay."

Sakura's eyes flashed open as she suddenly placed his face… and Sasuke's. Suddenly aware of her clothes being ripped, Sakura struggled frantically, but could do nothing to stop him as he pulled her gag and bit down on her lip hard. Clenching her eyes shut, Sakura lashed out as hard as she could with her limbs bound and her chakra drained. All she could think about was how stupid it had been of her to pass out in the middle of enemy territory… and how long gone Sasuke must have been by now.

Finally getting a good shot in at the man's groin, Sakura put as much space between them as she could, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

"How long have I been here?" Sakura breathed.

The man glared at her, still in pain and spat, "Long enough that it's pretty clear your boyfriend isn't coming back for you."

Sakura winced before she finally broke the bounds on her legs as soon as he was nearing her again and kicked him in the chest as hard as she could, sending him crashing into the other wall.

"I don't need him to come back for me," Sakura growled.

# # #

_~Three Months Later, One Month Until Deadline~_

Sasuke stared out at the sparking waves crashing onto the shoreline. The sun had just risen, and as he watched it, he only felt more and more like he was out of place. He just didn't understand why. He hadn't felt so guilty since that time he fought with Naruto and left him there… After coming across Suigetsu and Juugo, he had told them to cease their search since he was healed, and dismissed them, but Karin hadn't turned up. Of course, they never left the village he was staying in, but he had decided to start ignoring them.

Finally, he was free of everything… his obligations, his revenge, his bonds… but was he? He felt more pain than he had ever felt in his life, and this was the point that he had strived so hard to reach, but for what? Sasuke wanted his peace back, he wanted his solitude where he had found comfort and strength. He didn't know any other way to survive, but all he felt was empty.

Staring into the water, Sasuke wondered what he had done wrong. All he could think about were the memories that had tormented him before of team seven; memories of her and how hard she had tried to find him even now, after so much had happened. Being with her… had felt so different… so terrifying that he could only run from it, but that feeling… as he sat now, alone and with no one in the world, he realized what that feeling was—he had been happy.

And now he had what he had wanted.

Sasuke got up, unable to stand the onslaught of emotions and returned to the village. As he passed through the market, the vendors were setting up their stands and as he passed by one he heard two men arguing. Catching something about the man not having enough for the meat he wanted to buy, but his wages didn't allow for anymore, Sasuke was about to keep walking, but something in his gut made him turn and glance at them. He recalled Sakura's insistence on helping the little boy who stole from the occupying forces and simply couldn't turn away.

"Please, these prices are outrageous! Show some compassion, the people here are starving and my wife is pregnant. I barely eat myself and still cannot feed her with every penny I have!" he said.

"Be gone or I'll have your hand, begger!"

Sasuke sighed and walked over towards the man.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" he asked, eyeing Sasuke suspiciously.

"How much?"

"Fourteen per pound," he said.

Sasuke glared at him. That was expensive even in a shortage, which wasn't the case.

"Are you the only merchant selling seafood here?"

The man seemed to frown and stuttered, "D-do you want it or not!"

Sasuke grabbed him and thrust him against his half set-up cart, twisting his arm behind his back. "You'll charge seven per pound and nothing more, or I'll make sure you won't have a hand to collect your profit."

Sasuke released the man who was shaking in his boots and glanced over at the customer watching him stunned. Without a word, Sasuke left, his expression disgruntled, with only one thought.

_Happy, Sakura?_

It was that thought that made Sasuke's irritation dissipate. Of course she wasn't. He wondered vaguely if she had made it back to Konoha or not. His mind couldn't seem to stray from them for very long, and when they did, he was tormented by the emptiness of loss. Sasuke had few things left in the world to give him a reason to keep living, and they were what he kept running from.

Sasuke stopped and stared up at the sky, seeing the clouds moving over him like a looming barrier to keep him locked away in isolation. Feeling the rain fall down and strike him, Sasuke's eyes snapped wide open. Now that the light was gone, he felt alone and isolated back in the world he had created for himself… a world he no longer wanted to be in. He was suffering of his own will. What was the point of living and escaping if he could never have that light back in his life… never touch what he desired. Never be able to touch _her._

_Why am I staying here?_

Sensing someone watching him, Sasuke glanced to his side to see a woman with annoyingly flaming red hair.

"Sasuke!" she said.

Sasuke sighed, not at all in the mood to deal with her.

"Where have you been, Karin, you should have been here with the others," Sasuke said tonelessly.

Karin frowned, "I went back to check on you in that village, but you were gone. I see that you are alright now though, what happened?"

Sasuke started to walk and she fell into step beside him. "My old teammate healed me."

Karin paused for a moment before catching back up with him. "Your old teammate huh?"

"Yeah. Look Karin, I've decided to go back to Konoha and settle this nonsense with them so they won't send squad after squad of assassination teams after me," Sasuke said.

Karin paused again, stunned, but this time Sasuke stopped as well.

"Thank you, Karin, for helping me. But I'm going to go now."

Karin bit her lip as she watched him turn and leave.

"Sasuke!"

Catching back up to him, she saw that something had changed within him and for the first time in a while, she was happy. Happy to see Sasuke with a destination that would bring him peace.

"You're going back home, aren't you?" she asked quietly.

Sasuke was silent for a long time, but ever so slightly, he nodded.

"Are you going back to her?" she asked. "Your old teammate that healed you?"

Sasuke stared at her for a moment, thinking about what she said. Something seemed to click in his mind when she put it like that, and Sasuke realized that that was exactly what he was doing.

"Yeah, I am."

Giving Karin a strange look, Sasuke turned to leave, but felt her hand grip his shoulder.

"Sasuke," she said, catching his gaze. Seeing how annoyed he looked, she spoke quickly. "That pink haired medic… Sakura Haruno, right?"

Sasuke's brows furrowed as he nodded at her.

"Apparently she was captured in that village. They've put a hefty ransom on her life, and if Konoha doesn't pay it in a matter of days, they are going to kill her. She has been there for a while… probably about three months. I heard there had been a few failed attempts by the Leaf to rescue her without aiding them since that would anger Earth Country," she said.

Sasuke's entire being froze as it dawned on him what Karin was telling him. Sakura was captured… because he had left her. His jaw went slack, and before he had considered any kind of plan, Sasuke was running.

# # #

Sasuke stared down at the red leaf nin headband he held in his hand, tears streaming down his skin. The entire holding facility had been destroyed some time ago, and all Sasuke could gather was that there had been an attack, and the bodies already moved and the facility vacated.

Gripping the headband, Sasuke stared ahead of him, hating the feeling that was consuming him all over again. He hated caring so much. He hated loving them so much… but he had to know, if she was really dead or not.

The village had recently suffered a major battle and the refugees were already gone. It seemed there was no longer a town for either side to claim, so no one could give him any information. The only ones who could give him the answer he needed was Konoha.

A cool wind struck his skin as he stared in the direction of the leaf village and recalled what Sakura had last said to him. The thought made his entire body experience a sensation of numbness that he didn't think would ever lift.

Her skin had looked like porcelain, trails of tears streaking her cheeks, her lips cherry red from all the biting she had done when she had flirted with him… her eyes shone with fresh tears as she spoke them… words he regretted making her say and that echoed in his thoughts every night since he left. Words that seared his mind with guilt and words that Sasuke wish he had never made come out of her mouth.

They were the same words that Sasuke spoke to her as he stared at the blood stained headband in his hand that had once belonged to her.

_"You were never going back to Konoha with me… were you?"_


	9. All He Ever Left Her With

Chapter Nine: All He Ever Left Her With

_~One Week Before Sasuke Went to Find Sakura~_

Sakura stared down at the guard she had just transformed into, frowning at his broken neck. She had no choice but to use nothing but the dirtiest tricks since her chakra was so low. Holding the henge was draining enough with how much chakra they sucked out of her. It had been a few days since her last break out attempt and she had seen the bodies of the leaf ANBU black ops who had tried to rescue her.

Nothing would keep her from getting the hell out of there. Lately she had become aware of how bad the situation was between the Leaf and the Stone and couldn't risk Naruto damaging relations by giving in to the ransom.

Now, Sakura was sneaking down the corridor of cells with no real idea as to what was at the end of the corridor. Just as she was about to open the door, the henge flickered and faded, and Sakura fell against the stone wall in exasperation, already exhausted, but before she could even catch her breath, a loud explosion shook the walls and made her fall still, the whites of her eyes flashing in the darkness as she stared up, wondering what the hell that noise was. Hearing the door click open, Sakura froze, seeing a dark figure in the doorway, and expecting to be slaughtered any moment.

"Sakura?"

Sakura's mind processed the sound slowly, and as she looked up at the figure staring down at her as she crouched against the wall, her hands wrapped around her knees, she felt relief flooding through her body.

Taking the hand that was outstretched towards her, Sakura leaped into his arms, gripping him tightly.

"Naruto! I didn't think you'd be able to come," she cried.

Naruto smiled even as the tears slid down his cheek, holding Sakura tightly in his arms. "How could I let anything happen to you?"

"Now come on, let's get out of here before they realize what happened," he said.

# # #

The village was just the same as it was when she left it. Naruto had carried her all the way back to Konoha the night he rescued her alone. She had tried to explain what happened, but he already understood. They sat alone in his office for a long time that night, trying to accept what Sasuke's action meant.

"I won't be able to keep the assassination squads from going after him," Naruto said.

Sakura kept staring at the floor. "There won't be any need for that. They will only get killed."

Naruto looked up at her. "No. Not again, Sakura."

"It's not your decision, Naruto. I failed as well… this isn't anyone else's fault and they shouldn't have to be involved," Sakura said.

Naruto turned away from her. "The month isn't up yet, Sakura."

Wincing at Naruto's failed optimism, Sakura left his office.

# # #

Sakura stared into her mirror seeing how terrible she looked after nearly three months of captivity. Her hair was a mess and unable to stand it anymore, she got in the shower, trying to rinse the entire experience since she left the village from her mind.

But of course she couldn't.

Every memory she had of Sasuke was only making her angry. Stepping out of the shower, she glanced in the mirror again, recalling Sasuke's odd comment of how he liked her hair longer. The thought made her sick and her fist shattered the glass in a moment, sending trails of blood down her skin. Immediately, she pulled a kunai from her pouch on the floor and fisted her hair in her other hand before dragging the blade through it. Even as she did so, she wondered if he had even meant what he said. Fighting back the tears, Sakura let go of the mass of hair in her hands, feeling the anger fade away. She wanted to pretend she didn't understand Sasuke, that she hated him for what he did to her… but it wasn't working because she could feel everything he said and did… and she could tell when it was genuine. That's what made it all hurt so much.

Crawling into her bed, Sakura laid there with her lids heavy, but refusing to close them. It didn't keep him away though. He haunted her whenever she tried to sleep. She could always feel him there, his hands lingering on his skin, his breath against her neck. He had held her so tenderly, like she was his lover in his embrace… Sakura closed her eyes quickly allowing only a few tears to escape.

Tossing and turning, Sakura pulled her pillow over her head, trying to get the feeling of him out of her mind. After a few minutes, her mind had relaxed, only for the silent stillness of the room to be disrupted by his voice.

"Sakura."

Sakura pulled her head out from under the pillow and looked to the other side of her room to see Sasuke standing there watching her. Pulling the sheets up with her, Sakura sat up.

"Why did you come back?"

Sasuke smiled, that sweet smile that she had only had the pleasure of seeing a few rare times. "I realized how much you and Naruto meant to me… how much I needed you."

Sakura didn't expect the overwhelming feeling of relief that hit her. She wanted to yell at him, or get angry, but she couldn't, and she just wanted him to stay.

"So what are you going to do to keep me here, Sakura?" he asked.

Sakura stared at him with no idea what to say.

The smile she so loved became a smirk, and his eyes narrowed. "Maybe I would have never left if you had just let me have you the first time."

Sakura woke up, sitting straight up in her bed, her skin shining with sweet and her body heaving so she could catch her breath.

His words rang throughout her head leaving her with only one thing to wonder… was that true? Could she have kept him with her?

Sakura wondered about the answer to the question the next several days. He had hesitated at the last moment. She had been a hair's breadth from keeping him with her, but she had lost him. Accidentally dropped a box of files she was carrying down the corridor of the hospital, Sakura sighed, thanking a nurse who told her she would get it.

When she left the hospital that night, Naruto was there, watching her with a look of disapproval.

"You should take some time off, Sakura," he said.

Sakura walked past him and sat down on a bench and breathing in the crisp night air. The street was deserted and even the lamp posts were flickering as if they wanted to go out.

"I'm fine, Naruto, I just need some time to put it all behind me," she said.

Naruto didn't say anything as Sakura sat down and put her head in her hand.

"Where is your headband?" Naruto asked, realizing she didn't have it on.

"Oh yeah, I lost it. I'll have to get a new one," she muttered.

Naruto frowned at her. "Sakura… why did you cut your hair off?"

Sakura let her hand fall away from her cheek and her composure slipped. The memory of Sasuke was too much for her. As long as she kept him off her mind, she was fine, but the second he invaded her thoughts, she felt like her life was in tatters.

Somehow Naruto being there made it ten times worse and the tears flooded down her cheeks as the implications of her failure washed over her again and again.

"Sakura," Naruto muttered, pulling her against him. "What happened exactly?"

Sakura pressed her cheek against his chest holding onto him as if she were going to fall if she let go. She was thankful that she had him still. If Naruto was gone as well… she didn't know what she would do.

"Sasuke, he… kissed me. But it was all a rouse. He just wanted me to heal him before he left. He promised me he would go back to Konoha with me, but he never intended to, not ever," she said.

Naruto's eyes tightened as he heard the entire story. He had always known Sasuke was a bastard, but he never thought he would use Sakura like he had.

"Don't worry, Sakura, it will be alright," he said.

Sakura didn't say anything, but silently agreed. She had a plan to make sure everything would be alright. It would be the last thing she would ever do for Sasuke.

# # #

As she walked through the empty streets, Sakura walked aimlessly, having no desire to return home. Her mind was filled with the moments that she had spent with Sasuke, and as she recalled all those times she heard him laugh, she couldn't help but feel the enormous loss that she was left with in his absence. As much as she hated him for using her, she couldn't blame him for it. She would have rather had that time with him then none at all… and as much as she hated that he lied to her, she had been happy, even if only for a little while.

And those memories… of a past time… of a life that had been false, but very real to her for a short while… were what would be on her mind for a long time.

Pausing and looking up at where she was, Sakura realized she had ended up at the Old Uchiha District. She had had it in her head for so long that she would be taking Sasuke home when they got back that she had seemed to unconsciously walk there. Staring into the dusty and broken down streets, Sakura walked forward, wondering why she had ever thought it was okay to bring Sasuke back here. As she moved down past the abandoned homes, Sakura experienced flashes of Sasuke's memories and couldn't help but feel horrified that she was standing in the place these memories had occurred. Could she really blame him for not wanting to return?

In less than a week, Sasuke would be in the bingo book, and the most wanted criminal in all the great shinobi nations. Sakura almost wished the time was already up so every ray of hope would be destroyed and she could get used to that pain. Reaching Sasuke's home, Sakura slipped out of her shoes as she stepped inside. It had clearly not been touched since he left. She had been there once, the night after he left, but she couldn't go inside. She had still hoped he would return at that point and thought he would be angry if she went in his house.

Now she didn't care. Opening the door to his room, Sakura saw how everything was in place, and completely still… as it would always be. As she turned to leave, something out of place caught her eye on the dresser. Seeing the picture frame face down, Sakura's eyes narrowed as she crossed the room to pick it up.

Her expression changed to shock as the members of team seven stared up at her, the dust that coated every surface in the room not touching the spotless glass that covered their picture. Sakura's heart squeezed unbearably in her chest as she felt how wrong it was that Sasuke wasn't back with them. How could his act of defiance towards his team in truth have preserved their bond? How could all the terrible things he continuously did make her miss him more?

"Why won't you come back, Sasuke?" she whispered.

Placing the frame back in its place on the dresser—in the square of clean surface—Sakura left the room just as he had.

That night she realized something. No matter what Sasuke did, no matter how many deadlines he missed, or how many times he broke her heart, she would never be able to give up on him.

# # #

Sakura stared out at the lake near Sasuke's house, trailing her feet in the water as she sat at the end of the dock. She couldn't seem to look at the water without seeing Sasuke's reflection, as if it were burned into it because of how many times he himself had looked into it. A drop of water suddenly crashed into the reflection, distorting the image. The rain suddenly began to fall harder, causing a mist to rise on the lake.

She had never seen Sasuke for what he was, looked at him without a bias perspective. Her love for him had truly blinded her, but it didn't matter. Blind or not, it wouldn't have changed what happened. She hated how easy she was to use, and she hated that she couldn't stop him before it happened… if only she had known, she could have forced him back to Konoha before she healed his eyes.

It would only be a few years before Sasuke's vision began to deteriorate again most likely. She wondered how he would try to manipulate her into healing him next time… Sakura closed her eyes. That was all she had left to hope for—that Sasuke would need her again. That at least was something.

After everything, she wondered if he had even meant what he said. If he ever truly cared about her and Naruto. The way he had kissed her had seemed too convincing… at that moment in time, nothing could have made her believe she would lose him or that he wanted to get away. She had believed… and that moment would remain with her forever, locking her away from the world, and never letting her grip on hope slip.

That hope was all he ever left her with, and Sakura wondered if he intended to… or that was just something he couldn't avoid.

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_AN: Sooooo I am leaving in like a half hour for a super unpleasant long trip with two german shepherds... -_- Feel bad for me. Anyway, m__y lovely friend Yassie (_YagamiLightoo78) _will be updating this fic for me for the next week or so since I have the chapters done but not edited and I wont have internet, so she will be handling it for me cuz she is super awesome! If you are happy about the quick updates, you should thank her for being so kind as to do it for me! Hope you guys enjoy the rest of it. I rushed it... please don't hate me. I certainly could have made it longer to fit better, but no time. Please Review!!!_


	10. Sasuke's Return

_Disclaimer: I know_ Amanda (_the author of this fic if you haven't read her profile) doesn't make these but I feel inclined to making one. __So, here it goes: mrs. Amanda T. does not own 'Naruto' or the manga's/anime's characters. If she did, she would have Sasuke and Sakura have plenty of PHSM (pink haired sharingan monsters). And yes, she came up with the term. _

_Note: As Amanda said, chapters will come up every other day because of a freakish obsession of hers. Don't ask me why, she even told me I had to perform some kind of ritual before updating this fic. True story. _

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Chapter Ten: Sasuke's Return

Konoha was like a ghost town to Sasuke. The air was stiff and stale and the smell of blood seemed to always follow him when he was there. He walked slowly past the gate having placed a genjutsu on the guards, staggering every few steps. Everything was still and silent and he gripped the headband in his hand tighter.

There was no way she was really gone… Sasuke clenched his eyes shut as he walked. When he opened them, he noticed the bench inside the gate beside the academy. Perhaps… had he not left her then… Sasuke swallowed hard. There was nothing he could do to alleviate the pain. It was just like before. Itachi had died trying to help him and it was his fault for not being able to see clearly before. He had left Sakura alone, without his protection, and look what happened. Now she was gone, and he had only himself to blame.

Sasuke's mind had fallen into a state of turmoil that he had no idea how to handle. His heart bled for what he lost, and he felt like he deserved far worse. Tearing his eyes open, Sasuke tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs didn't seem to work. He had made a six day journey in two and his body was no longer keeping up with him. Feeling the metal of her headband cutting into his hand, Sasuke fell to his knees, his hands hitting the ground, the dirt cutting around the metal.

That's when he saw it. He wasn't sure if it was an illusion, or perhaps he was already dead and meeting her on the other side, but she was there.

Just as beautiful as he remembered, just as worried as usual… and headbandless.

Even as he was blacking out, Sasuke could feel her hands on his cheeks and whispered, "_You're alive_."

Sakura stared at him wide-eyed, the red around them raw and painful. Sasuke looked dead as he went still and the shock that Sakura felt as she saw him standing there in the middle of the empty street, holding her headband, held her in its grip and threatened to force the life out of her. But she didn't have any time for that… Sasuke was dying. Pressing both palms against his chest hot, tears rushed down her skin as she felt that his heart wasn't beating. Sending a massive pulse of chakra directly into his heart, Sakura felt the blood drain from her face when it didn't start again. Again… and still nothing.

"Sasuke!" she screamed sending another pulse into his chest. As if her voice had triggered something, his heartbeat finally returned, and Sakura let out breath as she stared down at him, seeing him start breathing again.

She still wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not… every night she had been back, she had never really been able to sleep because he would haunt her dreams, so she had taken to roaming the village. She almost always ended up at the gates… but who knew she would find Sasuke there… near death.

Pressing her hand against his chest again, Sakura streamed chakra into him, realizing he was experiencing extreme chakra exhaustion. And what the hell did he mean she was alive? Wiping the tears off her skin, Sakura brushed his bangs out of his face and saw how red his eyes were, how he had been crying.

Sakura flinched as if stung at what she saw and couldn't make any sense of it. Overwhelmed and not exactly 100% herself, Sakura's chakra stopped streaming from her hand, and her head fell against Sasuke's chest, unable to remain conscious.

# # #

When Sasuke awoke, he had no idea what was going on, but for some reason he felt entirely content. The feeling had been so foreign to him lately he wasn't sure what to make of it. He was clearly in a hospital bed and there were two armed ANBU black ops at the end of it staring at him. Lifting an eyebrow, Sasuke glared at them.

"Hey," Sasuke said, looking at one of them. "I want to know something."

Turning his head and looking at the other one, the ANBU nodded. "What?"

"Sakura Haruno… is she alive?" Sasuke asked apprehensively.

"Of course she is. She's the one that saved your life," he said.

Sasuke stared at him, vaguely recalling seeing her there just before he blacked out. Then, to both of the ANBU's surprise, Sasuke smiled.

"The elders are coming to speak with you soon," one of them said before they both turned and left the room.

Sasuke rested his head against the pillow and let his mind clear. The anguish he had felt for so long… it had been relieved. There was never a greater relief than waking up from your worst nightmare. Sakura was safe and in the village. That was all Sasuke needed to know.

When the elders came, Sasuke didn't acknowledge them, but he was clearly being forced to listen.

"Hello, Sasuke," Homura said. "We are pleased that you have returned before the year was up. We would have been deeply dissatisfied had you not."

Sasuke's glare directed at the wall ahead of him deepened.

"Now that you have returned, we would like to discuss the deal we would like to make for you. Obviously, you have committed a great many number of crimes and proven to be quite a problem for the Hidden Leaf, but given the circumstances, we are willing to drop any charges for those crimes based on one condition," he said.

Sasuke finally turned to look at them. "Why should I accept any deal you can offer me when you are partly responsible for the murder of my entire family? You have no authority with me. If you want me to accept any kind of deal, you better have the Hokage offer it."

They looked at each other and nodded. "So be it. However, you should know that about the matter you speak of, we feel the deepest regret. You and Naruto have the opportunity to begin a new era for your people, a new way of life without such discrimination and intolerance of the old days. Sasuke Uchiha—we wish to welcome you back to the village with open arms and to establish peace once and for all. If you did not have such ties to the Hokage, this would not even be an option, but after many long discussions, we believe it is wholly possible to make some good out of all the terrible things that have happened. We will leave you now and let the Hokage bring our offer to you. We can have nothing less than full responsibility from you though. So please accept."

Sasuke listened to the door click shut and closed his eyes. What the hell were they babbling about? His ties to Naruto? Rolling his eyes, Sasuke leaned forward to sit up and waited in anticipation for Naruto to come see him. Despite how he would never admit it, he was anxious to see the dobe again.

# # #

Sakura heard the door to her room click open and she nearly jumped out of the bed when she saw Naruto enter.

"Naruto! Where is he?" she all but screamed.

"He's in the room next to us, Sakura, relax, he isn't going anywhere," Naruto said.

Sakura stared at the wall as if trying to see through it before she sighed and closed her eyes. "Naruto… he almost died."

Naruto sat at the edge of Sakura's bed. "Sakura. The elders have given Sasuke one option to remain within the village without any restrictions. Should he refuse, he will be held accountable for his crimes which could mean anything. He would have to face trial. I am willing to give him a full pardon, but they have to sign off on it."

Sakura looked up at him when she heard the irritation in the last part. "What does that mean, Naruto? What do they want him to do?"

# # #

"They want me to what?" Sasuke asked, staring at Naruto.

Naruto watched his friend with weary eyes. He had had no choice but to spring it on him.

"You have to get married, Sasuke. They want you to rebuild your clan. The Uchiha were a vital component of Konoha's strength, and they want the sharingan back in its ranks… and seeing as how you are the only one left, they want you to get married," Naruto said, avoiding Sasuke's stunned expression as much as he could.

Sasuke's mind went blank at what Naruto was saying. He was already a little shocked by the flaming cloak he had on and how serious he was being, but this outdid the cloak.

"I know what you are probably thinking right now, Sasuke, and believe me, if I could give you the pardon without their input I would, but they won't agree to it if they don't get something out of it. They want a reason to allow you back and apparently baby Uchihas are the answer," Naruto said.

Sasuke stared down at his hands. "And what if I refuse?"

Naruto frowned. "Could mean anything. Your fellow shinobi would judge you and they would be aware you refused the elders' offer to pardon. If too many people thought you would be more of a problem than an asset… it might not turn out well."

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment. This was what he had wanted… even if it was a little rushed. Why risk a sentence when he could get out of it so easily?

"On one condition," Sasuke said.

Naruto's eyes widened in surprise, shocked that he might actually agree.

"Yeah, sure…" Naruto said, watching him suspiciously.

"It has to be Sakura."

# # #

Sasuke spent the entire afternoon trying to decide if he was making the wrong decision. After the last several days of traveling with no rest and the horrible idea of Sakura being dead plaguing his mind, Sasuke felt compelled to stay near her at all times. This was the second time he came too close to being responsible for something happening to her, and Sasuke knew that was not something he could ever let rest of his conscience. Losing Itachi was more than enough for him to bear.

He had spent enough time with Sakura to understand that she was in love with him and nothing was going to change that. His absence or existence in her life wouldn't change anything, so he might as well stay close enough to keep his own peace of mind. She had wanted him back in the village, and that is what she was going to get.

However, despite a marriage, and everything that went along with it, in Sasuke's heart, he knew he could never surrender to her completely. He had to keep his distance from her… for his own sake. And considering how she hadn't been in to see him, he didn't think it was going to be that hard.

# # #

As Sakura left her room after making a full recovery, she paused and glanced at the door beside hers. She wanted so desperately to go inside, but she knew it would only make her life harder. With a heavy heart, Sakura left the hospital and headed home. She wanted him to stay, and she wanted him to be in the village where he belonged. And if getting married to rebuild his clan was what needed to happen, then she would stand aside and let it. Sasuke had made it abundantly clear that she was not enough to make him return.

Glancing down at the dirty old forehead protector she had lost in captivity, Sakura wondered why on earth Sasuke had, had it. She assumed he must have had it before that and she just didn't realize it was missing that soon.

When she got home Sakura went inside without turning on any of the lights, so when she noticed a dark figure sitting in her living room, she jumped.

Flicking on a light, Sakura saw Naruto sitting on her couch waiting for her.

"Naruto? What's going on?" she asked.

"I spoke to Sasuke."

Sakura felt like someone dropped a lead weight in her chest and she sat down opposite Naruto.

"He agreed."

Sakura smiled sadly. "I'm glad then. At least we won't have to worry about him too much anymore."

Naruto watched her carefully, curious what the hell had really happened between them. How could Sasuke be so decisive about her and she be completely clueless?

"Sakura. Sasuke only agreed to the deal on one specific condition," he went on, waiting for any kind of hint she was expecting what he was about to tell her, but it never came.

"Of course," Sakura muttered, "He has to be difficult about everything."

Naruto frowned, catching her eyes and holding her in a fixed stare. "He only wants you Sakura."

Naruto watched as her eyes slowly widened over the course of a long moment. But the surprise quickly became anger and Naruto flinched when she stood up.

"What? Didn't the elders arrange for decent choices for such an arranged marriage?" she asked.

Naruto nodded. "He didn't even want to hear it."

Sakura stared at Naruto as if the sky were falling and was scrambling to pick it back up. "W-w-we can't get married. That's absurd. Sasuke isn't in love with me, he-h-h-he can't stand me!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her. "Sakura… if you don't want to do it, no one is going to make you. Sasuke can face trial, and if the sentence is too much, then we can deal with that when the time comes."

Sakura fell silent at his words. The weight of what he said was bearing down on her, forcing her back into her seat. Sasuke's sentence could easily be death—so many of the villagers feared the Uchiha and certainly the traitor Sasuke.

"Why me?" she whispered.

"Clearly because he is bonded to you," a foreign voice said.

Sakura jumped when she heard them and looked up to find both elders standing in her living room.

"We are glad Sasuke has made an acceptable choice. Sakura, we hope you understand that this falls under the category of duty and your responsibility to this village," Homura said.

"It certainly does not," Naruto said. "This decision is Sakura's alone."

Sakura was starting to feel lightheaded. "He left me… alone. I was captured because I was so disorientated afterwards. Sasuke doesn't care about me." She repeated the last line like a mantra in her head trying to keep her sanity. This was how she had survived since she had returned to Konoha… it was how she survived the entire time she was in captivity, knowing he would never go back for her.

"He used me," Sakura said. "Why would he come back now and want this of me?"

Naruto watched as Sakura broke down right in front of him and pulled her into his arms and held her. Next time he saw the teme he was going to give him a piece of his fist.

"Why does Sasuke have to get married at all?" she muttered.

"The Uchiha clan is one of the most ancient and prestigious clans of Konoha's roots. Losing them was a major blow to our village. To restore the Uchiha clan to its former glory without the threads of hate and discrimination would be the ideal outcome of allowing Sasuke back into the village with a full pardon," Homura said.

Sakura realized two things at that moment and wasn't sure which to yell about first. "Forcing Sasuke into a marriage is not the way to make peace with him and the village. If you begin this relationship with him like this you are asking for tension."

"The difference is that Sasuke is not being forced into anything. As long as he can marry you, he has no qualm. Should you refuse, then that is exactly what the situation would be like, and Sasuke and the village will both lose."

Sakura stared up at them. How could they be putting her in such an impossible situation?

"And if I agree… this is all just so I can produce little baby Uchiha heirs to your satisfaction?" Sakura sneered. "To the village's satisfaction?"

Silence fell over the room and Sakura fumed. That was _exactly_ what they wanted.

"Sakura," Naruto said. "_If_ you agree to this, there would be no obligation of you to have a child. That would be entirely between you and Sasuke."

Sakura could see the irritated looks on the elder's faces, but they didn't argue.

"The Hokage is right, however, there are expectations that must be met eventually," Koharu said.

Sakura's fist tightened as she fought to keep herself in check. Her eyes stung like she wanted to cry and her fists quivered like she wanted to hit them, but she did nothing. It didn't matter what she wanted… she knew what Sasuke wanted.

The only thing she _had_ been sure of when she was with him was that he had wanted to _fuck_ her. The only other thing she was certain of was that Sasuke had always wanted to restore his clan… of course, why hadn't she seen it before? She was a mean to an end for him.

He would use her again.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura's head cleared. She could handle the truth much easier when she understood it. This was why Sasuke wanted to marry her—it was the perfect solution to him. Regardless of whether the village demanded heirs or not, Sasuke did want children, so she knew she had to be prepared if she was going to agree to this.

Which she was becoming less and less sure of as each moment passed. She could always let him rot in a cell the rest of his life… or worse… be sentenced to death. Sakura's eyes stung with fresh tears at the thought of Sasuke being executed.

"I'll do it," she gasped, fighting the overwhelming desire to mourn her own death.

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_Note: Hope you enjoyed the chapter and leave Amanda plenty of reviews for her to read when she comes back! _


	11. That Tiny Shred of Hope

_Standard disclaimer applies. _

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Chapter Eleven: That Tiny Shred of Hope

Sakura sat alone in her living room with nothing surrounding her but darkness and silence. But the cries of her own thoughts seemed to drown her in a whirlwind of chaos. Every possibly scenario for how her life could play out now ran through her mind and almost all of them were ones she felt certain would leave her in nothing but pain.

It was true that she loved Sasuke more than anything… but she didn't trust him. She could handle him being _him_ but she didn't know if she could handle constantly staring into the face of a man who was willing to use her so readily, taking advantage of her so easily. It was the prospect of children that scared her so much. How could she protect them from Sasuke? How could she go on sacrificing everything for him when she had a child to worry about more so than him?

Sakura pulled at her legs tighter, curling up and trying to stay warm. She set her head on her knees trying to remain still, as if time were not passing around her.

She would be giving up her career… any chance of getting over Sasuke and being happy… and all for a guy who always broken her heart and would never love her. These were the cold hard facts that Sakura _knew_ were true, but she couldn't keep herself from always staring that tiny shred of hope in the face, begging for it to remain. That was all she had, and it was all that would keep her going. That little bit of hope that Sasuke might one day love her too.

Feeling an unmistakable chill in the air, Sakura looked up and was startled to see Sasuke standing in the shadow of the doorway, watching her with his crimson eyes.

A chill crept into her skin at the way he was watching her, like he was analyzing her reaction.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep the trembling out of her voice.

Sasuke saw how pale her skin was, how sad she looked, but that didn't concern him. She was alive, and breathing, and perfectly fine.

"I had to see that you were alright for myself," Sasuke said, noting how short her hair was compared to the last time he saw her clearly.

Sakura gave him a strange look but decided she didn't want inside of Sasuke's head. When she didn't say anything, he turned and she felt panic rise in her chest at the thought of him leaving, so she asked him the question that had been burning in her mind since Naruto spoke with her.

"Why me?"

Sasuke paused but didn't turn back to her. He could think of nothing short of a few dozen reasons as to _why her?_ But he couldn't speak any of them out loud. Keeping Sakura as emotionally distant from him as possible was what he needed, so he said the most obvious reason of them all.

"Who else?"

Sakura felt like he had knocked the wind out of her and even her eyes were motionless, unable to shed the pain through tears.

She wanted to be angry, she wanted to scream at him, but the pain that was tearing pieces and pieces of her last shred of hope was too much.

"Then why, Sasuke? That night… when you first left Konoha… when I told you everything I could to make you stay with me… why did you catch me? Why couldn't you go without leaving anything behind? Why can't you just sever your tie to me completely? If you want me to do this, then fine… but let's be clear about what it is we are actually doing. Why do you always leave something for me to cling to?" Sakura cried, her voice desperate and rising in octaves the longer she spoke.

Sasuke was immobilized by her words. He didn't know what to say to her to keep up the pretense, so he said the only thing he could to appease her.

"Would you rather I left you with nothing at all, Sakura?" he said quietly.

Sakura stared at him trying to piece together what he was saying. Did he mean that… he did care? Finally, hot tears rushed down her skin, but before she could speak again, Sasuke was gone.

# # #

The next time she saw Sasuke was at their wedding. Clearly against Sasuke's will, the wedding had become a village affair and everyone would be attending the ceremony. Sasuke Uchiha's return to the village was whispered at every corner and gushing women couldn't get over how much the little Uchiha boy had grown. Everyone seemed to be under the impression that Sakura had brought Sasuke back to the village and rumors of a grand love story between them were abounding. No doubt these rumors were being confirmed by the Village Council who wanted Sasuke's reputation to be restored and there wasn't a better way to do it than make him seem like the main character of a romantic love story.

Everyone who was anyone was coming into the village for it, even Gaara, the Kazekage of the Sand would be in attendance, as well as the Lord of the Land of Fire. The guest list made it clear how much of a political mess Sasuke was caught up in.

The morning of the wedding, Sakura sat holed up in her house refusing to let anyone inside. She just needed some peace, to be away from all the celebration arrangements. She could only imagine the scowl that must have been permanently stuck on Sasuke's face then. Hearing a knock at the door, Sakura sighed and ignored it as usual. However, instead of the continuous knocking, a loud burst filled the room and Sakura stared at the dust rising around the door wondering who the hell just broke her door down.

Seeing the long blond hair of her former teacher, Sakura relaxed.

Tsunade moved through the dust with her eyes closed and an irritated look on her face before she found Sakura sitting there looking at her.

Seeing the state Sakura was in, her expression softened as she sat down next to her student.

"I heard you were getting married," she said.

Sakura looked at the floor. "Yeah."

"In fact, I heard that after months of captivity, that Sasuke heard about it and desperately rushed to your rescue to learn that you were dead. Then, he returned to the village to find the love of his life alive and well…" she said.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I don't think that's exactly how it went."

"Humph."

Silence fell on the two of them before Tsuande finally broke it. "You don't have to do this, Sakura. They wouldn't execute Sasuke if he tried to blow up the village. At least not without breeding him first."

Sakura cracked a hint of a smile at her sense of humor, but it didn't change anything. "To be honest, this has nothing to do with my obligation to the village, or any of that."

Tsunade frowned. "If he makes you miserable, Sakura, why do you feel so compelled to do whatever he wants you to?"

Sakura remembered her words to Sasuke that night that he first left. How she told him she loved him, how she told him she would do anything for him… she had meant that and she always would.

"Because I love him."

# # #

Sasuke sat with his eyes closed leaning against the window in the Hokage's office.

"Quit staring at me, dobe," he muttered, opening his eyes to glare at Naruto.

Naruto glared back. "Hey, I didn't ask to have to keep watch over you, but after you knocked out all those ANBU they didn't have much of a choice."

Sasuke looked the other way. "And why do they need someone to keep watch over me at all? I agreed to all this nonsense, didn't I?"

Naruto sighed as he watched Sasuke glare out at the village where everyone was running around preparing for the wedding. He hadn't changed much. And as glad as he was that Sasuke was back, he couldn't get the bad feeling he had out of the pit of his stomach.

"And why did you, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke glanced back over to him.

"Agree to all this?" Naruto added, making Sasuke aware of how little he was trusted.

Sasuke closed his eyes and went back to leaning against the window obliviously. "Why do you care? You were pushing me to do it, weren't you?"

Before Naruto could respond, there was a knock at his door and one of his aids brought in a black set of robes with the Uchiha crest emblazoned on the back of it. Sasuke seemed to be staring at it in shock as she hung it on the wall and bowed before she left. Naruto had to admit, the robes were pretty impressive. The sleeves were loose and open at the ends, reaching down to the waist, crisp and clean, jet black, with the symbol of his clan freshly printed.

"Have you spoken to Sakura since you've been back?" Naruto asked, wondering what was going through his head as he started at the robes meant for only the clan's leader.

"Yeah," he said, closing his eyes again.

"Sasuke."

The way Naruto spoke his name was like a warning. Finally catching his full attention, Naruto searched his eyes for any kind of comfort. He found none.

"I don't want Sakura to get hurt."

Sasuke glared at him. "Why do you think I came back?"

Naruto's shock was not lost on Sasuke, but he didn't care. He didn't need to explain himself to Naruto, he was sure he understood already.

"You know I was the one who brought Sakura back," Naruto said quietly.

Sasuke stared at the floor. "I know."

"How could you have left her like that?" Naruto asked, unable to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice.

For the first time, Naruto finally got some kind of reaction out of him when Sasuke's brows furrowed for a moment. "I went back for her as soon as I heard, but it was too late. If I had known… it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing will ever happen to her again."

Naruto watched Sasuke as if finally comprehending what was really going on. "Is that why you're doing this? Because you are scared of leaving her behind?"

Sasuke's eyes tightened and Naruto glared.

"Sasuke… if you care about her so much you can't let anything happen to her… just let her in. You don't have to shut her out just to protect both of you," Naruto said.

"What do you know about it, Naruto? You don't know what it feels like to lose someone," Sasuke partly yelled.

Naruto watched him sadly. "Yeah, I do, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up at him seeing how he was watching him.

"We didn't think you were ever coming back. But Sakura… she would have never given up on you. She was prepared to do whatever she had to including betraying the village by lying to them, just so you would be safe, even if it only kept you alive for a little while," he said.

"Sakura is a fool," Sasuke said, his voice faltering even as she said.

"Protecting her just so she can be miserable her whole life is pointless, Sasuke. Take care of her, like she should be," Naruto said. "And get dressed—the ceremony will begin soon."

# # #

The ceremony was to take place in the arena. Important guests were seated where the ceremony would be, but practically all of Konoha was in the stadium cheering on two of the most celebrated ninjas of their village and the revival of the Uchiha clan after the tragedy they all remembered. The wedding was going to take place at midnight, as part of an ancient tradition of the Uchiha clan Sasuke didn't even remember. Following the ceremony would be a night long celebration.

Sakura stared at the beautiful white kimono with red and black thread shimmering in the light, hanging in the dressing room that was near where she would enter for the ceremony. Tiny Uchiha clan symbols were etched into the pattern, and splashed across her back was the familiar symbol she always stared at as Sasuke walked away from her. She felt branded.

Ino was there with her, fussing over her hair and complaining how she just had to cut it right when she had a reason to fix it. But Sakura was glad to be distracted to her friend's chatter. Ino and Naruto would be their only friends taking part in the ceremony and it gave Sakura great pleasure that they would have to walk down the aisle together knowing how they loathed one another.

When it was finally time, Sakura felt her entire body seize and she realized that no matter how much she willed it to stop, time would always keep moving forward without her. Feeling Ino cover her face with a veil she could hardly see out of, Sakura sucked in her breath.

Tearing off the veil, Sakura jumped from the chair she had sat in patiently for the last several hours and ran to the window, throwing it open. Feeling the cool night air, Sakura saw the full moon low in the sky, bearing down on her and all she could see was that night… Sasuke leaving her…

"He's going to leave," Sakura muttered, throwing her back against the wall, feeling the stitching of the Uchiha crest digging into her skin. Sliding down into the corner, she clutched at her hair, clenching her eyes shut as she tried desperately not to have a panic attack.

That's when she heard it.

Sasuke's voice.

Letting her eyes unclench slowly, Sakura looked up to see him standing before her, his hand held out to her. She had never seen Sasuke dressed so formally, and she had to stare at him before she was convinced it was him she was seeing. Ino was hovering in the background, her expression a wreck and she saw her friend break into pieces right before she was about to get married.

"Sakura," he said, his voice urging her to calm down.

Seeing him so calm and ready was probably the only thing that would have calmed her down in that moment. She couldn't forget why she was doing this. Whether he would ever love her or not, she was going to be with him.

Taking his hand, Sasuke pulled her up and watched her curiously, noticing her attire for the first time. She had never looked more stunning. And as she moved past him to regain her composure and return the veil to her head, he noticed the Uchiha symbol covering her small body.

For the first time, Sasuke was struck with the weight of what he was about to go through with. And at that moment, he was certain that was what happiness was, but even as he felt it, he was scared. Scared of having something so valuable… something that could so easily be taken away from him.

Seeing Ino watching him nervously, he nodded and followed her from the room.

Naruto was the brightest of them all with his flaming orange Hokage cloak, but it was so fitting for him next to his two teammates. Banners of the Uchiha crest were surrounding them in the arena, and spotlights shining brightly on each one—lights that were soon showcasing the wedding party. Sakura was hardly having any coherent thoughts at all. Not only was she scared to death, but Sasuke had slightly taken her breath away when he had come to her rescue. He was stunning, and she felt certain that everyone was watching him, and she felt proud to be at his side. She just hoped he didn't feel like he was making a mistake.

Everything went as smoothly as possible. Sakura was surprised, but when he needed to, Sasuke had no trouble holding up appearances. She almost felt like he meant it when he kissed her. There wasn't a person in the crowd that wasn't envious of one of them and everyone was smiling as they watched them.

So no one noticed that the Hokage was the only one who stood apart from the crowd as he watched two of the most important people in his life with nothing but a frown on his face.

The rest of the night, Sakura was practically attached to Sasuke's side, his hand at her waist firmly. Celebratory music played all evening as the village celebrated the Uchiha's return and the promise of a future for the clan in the marriage. Sakura was surprised how well Sasuke was handling being asked how long until they could expect the first heir all night. She was glad he was ignoring her though and didn't make her speak when they hadn't even talking much about the marriage, let alone children. She almost glared at him at one point for how tightly he was holding her, but he was hardly paying her any attention. He had too many people watching him and she could tell he couldn't stand it. But Sasuke wasn't stupid. He knew he wasn't just representing himself anymore, but the entire future of the Uchiha clan. He had too much pride to be rude.

When Hinata's father came to congratulate them, Sasuke seemed more interesting in watching how odd Naruto acted around him. Even as the Hokage, he still seemed awkward around his wife's father and Sakura would have sworn it amused the hell out of Sasuke to watch him squirm.

After that, the Lord of the Land of Fire insisted on having a word alone with Sasuke. Almost desperate to run away and find Ino, Sakura dashed at the chance to get away from him. She had spent so long panicking about the wedding and being miserable, she had completely forgotten what came next.

And now she was _really_ panicking.

Finally finding Ino, Sakura grabbed her and dragged her along with her back to their dressing room before slamming the door.

Ino watched Sakura wearily, worried she might have another panic attack.

"You really really need to relax and _breathe_, Sakura," she said slowly.

Sakura glared at her. "Ino, I just got married to _Sasuke_, the most unaffectionate person on the planet, with absolutely no idea how I'm going to survive the rest of the night."

Ino stared at her finally realizing what Sakura was saying. "Oohhhhh."

Sakura sighed loudly and sat down and put her head in her hands. "What am I going to do?"

Ino frowned at her. "Did you say that when you were healing him that you had to beat him off with a stick?"

Sakura glared at her. "I didn't quite put it like that, but yeah."

"Then what are you so worried about?" Ino chastised.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just nervous," Sakura said. "I don't have anything to wear and it's just all so… prepared. I feel like I'm being served to him on a fucking platter."

Ino cringed. "You know, Sakura. Another package came for you today… but I thought it would really piss you off, so I didn't show you."

Sakura looked up at her expectantly and Ino smiled hesitantly before grabbing a bag stuffed in one of the drawers. Taking it, Sakura pulled out a black silk gown… with the Uchiha emblem on the back.

"They get a little too carried away with this stuff," Sakura mumbled as she looked it over. "But it will have to do."

"But I'm going to go find, Sasuke, I don't think I can stand being here any longer," she said.

Ino rushed out after her grabbing a wine glass off a tray and shoving it into Sakura's hand with a huge grin. "Drink up… you'll be glad you did."

Her expression faltering, Sakura tipped the drink back and downed it in one shot.

* * *

_AN: Alright, so I know nothing about how they might actually do this wedding, or what kind of ceremony the Land of Fire would have, so I was just going with the flow. And I wasn't going to detail the wedding part like I did, but I needed some fluff. It makes me happy thinking about them getting married though. *gushes* SASUSAKU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOT!!!!!!! –fin-_

_Note: ^ That is an author's note Amanda wrote just before she traveled back to the US. She left a few of AN's in a couple of chapters so don't be surprised if you see any in the future.  
But I agree with what she said!!! When they do get married in the manga, Sakura better be happy with Sasuke though, or I'll die a little inside. God forsaken angst ridden couple...  
_

_But yes! Review and hope you enjoyed the chapter!_


	12. Sakura Uchiha

_Disclaimer: Blah blah blah.  
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_Warning: Lemon ahead!  
_

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* * *

  
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Chapter Twelve: Sakura Uchiha

Sasuke glared at Sakura as he saw her walking back over to him, avoiding his gaze. The entire evening he had wanted nothing but to get the hell away from all the people, and when he was ready to leave, she had disappeared.

He was about to leave without her, but figured she might not actually go to his house on her own when he finally saw her. All Sasuke could think of was getting away from everyone and the thought of taking Sakura home meant just that to him.

However, once he was finally there, in his house again, the silence set back in. He could hear the shower running above him and knew Sakura was there, but everything felt surreal to him. This was what he had always wanted, wasn't it? He would be able to restore his clan… he would protect Sakura… and she would never question him or how he was. She understood he may never be what she wanted him to, so why did everything feel wrong.

Hearing the water shut off, Sasuke realized why he hadn't gone upstairs yet. Eyes widening, it dawned on him why Sakura had been so rigid all evening. It was their _wedding night_. For some reason, there was something much more definite about having sex with Sakura than just marrying her. She would never be able to undo what he was putting her through after that, and he wasn't even sure he was doing the right thing.

Clenching his eyes shut and tearing his gaze from the staircase, Sasuke left.

# # #

Sakura had almost expected it. Somewhere deep down, she expected Sasuke to leave… she just thought it would be before the wedding… not the wedding night. He had made it through the hard part—now all he had to do was sleep with her. Was he that unsure about what he was doing?

Her hand twisted the silk gown she wore as she leaned against the headboard of his bed. She felt strange in his room alone, like she wasn't supposed to be there. Glancing over, she saw the picture of team seven, all the dust gone, set upright in the same place.

All she could think was how easily he could simply put it back down again.

# # #

Sasuke sat at the end of the dock staring into the water. So many times he sat and stared into the water, trying to make sense out of his life and what he was supposed to do. None of the conclusions he came to then meant anything, so he wondered if the one he had in his mind then held any significance either. Would it really protect him to keep his distance from Sakura? Was that the right decision? After Itachi was gone, he had felt lost, direction less, and without a goal. His hatred was no more, for there was nothing left to hate, but hate was all that his heart felt. Now, he knew how much that hurt to lose someone he loved so much, but he wasn't sure what to make of that awareness. Admitting to himself that he did still care for Naruto and Sakura, had made his world disappear, but now he was suspended in a meager light that wasn't enough to see in, and not enough to close his eyes to. Sasuke didn't know what to do, and the decision he would make would affect him and those he loved the rest of his life.

After a while, Naruto sat down beside him silently as if he knew exactly what Sasuke was thinking.

"You're hurting her right now, Sasuke, just by being here," Naruto said.

Sasuke remained silent, acknowledging what Naruto said for once.

"You came back because you care about her—that much is obvious. You can't keep running from her because you are scared of caring… you already care. Just know that the longer you stay away from her, the more you hurt her because of how selfish you are," Naruto said.

Sasuke listened as Naruto walked away and wondered when he had changed so much.

"Naruto," Sasuke said finally, and hearing the footsteps pause, "Thanks."

"Thank me when something changes, Sasuke."

# # #

When Sasuke finally went into his room, he found Sakura asleep in his bed. It was such a strange feeling, seeing her there, wearing a nightgown with his clan's symbol on it… because she was his wife. He remembered how much he had wanted her, how manipulative he had been willing to be in order to get his hands on her, and now here she was, asleep after waiting for him to never show up on their wedding night.

Sasuke stared at her hair that didn't even reach her shoulders and wondered why she had done that. But he didn't really care, she was just as beautiful. Taking off his robes, Sasuke pulled the covers back gently and lay down beside her, staring at her back. He was mesmerized by the pale strands of pink hair fringing the top of the symbol. It was such a strange sight and yet, he felt like he had seen it before… like he had always known this was what his future held.

Reaching out towards her, Sasuke pulled at her waist, sliding her back against his chest. The rise and fall of her chest was peaceful and he held her tightly, satisfied that she was safe in his arms.

He never noticed the tear slide down her cheek at what he had done.

The next day, Sakura hardly saw Sasuke and spend the entire time with Ino running around with her, helping her get acquainted to having servants. They were moving the Uchiha district to a place well within the village near the other clans and were creating plans for the new estate. Sakura was constantly asked questions about what she wanted it to have and look like, and she felt like she should consult Sasuke, but when she finally got his attention he simply told her he didn't care and to make it whatever she wanted.

Exhausted, Sakura went back to their house early that night after having spent the afternoon having new clothes tailored for her. She felt strange having to give up her typical pink uniform for one that could sport the Uchiha symbol without clashing, but the change was overdue anyway. Pulling on her nightgown, she sat down on the bed, the pause in her day coming down on her. She waited up as long as she could for Sasuke, but he never came.

The next morning, he wasn't there and Sakura found him sitting outside at the dock. She had hardly spoken to him since the wedding and she was beginning to wonder if this was just how things were going to be.

The next night, Sakura couldn't stand it anymore. She sat on the window sill until the early hours of the morning staring out into the night. When Sasuke finally came in, he seemed surprised to see her there.

"What are you doing up so late?" he asked, pausing like he wasn't what to make of her being in his room.

Sakura turned back and looked at him with disdain. "What were you doing out so late?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at her dodging the question before he started to take off all of his weapons and armor.

Sakura sighed. "Sasuke, I thought you wanted this… to be with me? You realize we haven't consummated the marriage yet, right? Are you having second thoughts?"

Sasuke dropped his arm guard and sat down at the edge of the bed without looking at her.

"No."

"Then what is it? You haven't touched me… you barely look at me. The village expects children, and I can't exactly deliver them on my own."

Sasuke didn't move and Sakura felt herself struggling to not yell at him. She wanted to shake him, but desperation rather than anger rang through her voice.

"Sasuke, you don't have to do this if it's not what you want. I can speak with the elders… find a solution. You don't have to be married to me," she whispered, finally looking away from him.

Sasuke heard how sad she sounded and turned to see her biting her lip. She looked so alone and like she was going to collapse under the pressure. Something within him cracked and before he thought about it at all, he was talking.

"Do you remember when I kissed you, Sakura? Before I left?"

Sakura bit into her lip harder. "How you tricked me? Of course."

Sasuke shook his head. "I meant it, Sakura. I didn't mean to, but I did, and I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire time I was gone… when I heard what happened, I went to you immediately, but it was too late. I thought you were dead…"

Sakura was in shock at what he was telling her and even as she moved closer to him, she shook with apprehension.

"Then, what's wrong?"

Sasuke stared at the floor, his eyes heavy. "I don't know how… to love you, and I don't want to hurt you. I'm scared the moment I give in to this weakness, you'll be taken from me."

As Sakura watched him in that moment, she could suddenly see the child within him that had no idea what he has gotten himself into. He was scared, just like her, and there was every reason in the world for him to be resistant to her. For so long Sasuke had become fixated on killing any emotion he felt besides hate that he had forgotten how to feel anything else, but he was trying now. She just had to help him.

"Sasuke, I won't ever leave you as long as you don't leave me," Sakura said.

She wanted to reach out to him, to finally get a grip on him. She was so scared that he would leave and for so long she felt like she had never been able to reach him… but now he was right in front of her and finally breaking that fear, Sakura let her hand graze his chin and urged his gaze up to hers.

Seeing him looking at her, _really_ looking at her, Sakura felt like he might have actually listened. Pulling his head against her chest, Sakura held him close, just so he knew she was there.

His breath against her chest was nerve wrecking as she debated with herself on whether or not to go through with what she was thinking. It had been so easy before… why was this so difficult now? Sakura cursed Sasuke for making everything difficult. Sasuke held everyone at arm's length, and she understood now that to get through to him, she would have to close that distance herself. He had finally come back to her, given her a real chance… so it was her turn. She couldn't expect him to take this next step. She was aware now how much he didn't want her to think he was using her, so she had to do this.

Sliding onto the bed, Sakura placed each knee on either side of Sasuke's lap, but wasn't quite bold enough to press closely against him. Still, it was enough, and as he looked up at her questioningly, Sakura caught his eyes for a moment, willing him to not resist. She wasn't sure she could recover from another rejection from Sasuke. Closing her eyes more out of fear than intimacy, Sakura grabbed a fistful of Sasuke's hair so he couldn't get away from her before kissing him as lightly as she could. She could feel his body tense all around her, but instead of discouraging her, she felt reassured. He hadn't immediately reacted in shoving her away at least… Touching her hand to his face, Sakura deepened the kiss, desperate to make him feel her, to make him understand how much she loved him. Even as she kissed him more intimately, she felt her heart growing heavy. Maybe it was too soon for Sasuke. Savoring what it felt like to be so close to him for one last moment, Sakura released her grasp on him. He was just too far away from her… and she didn't know if she would ever be able to reach him.

Unable to look him in the eye, Sakura pulled herself from his lap and turned to leave, but after one step she felt a tug on her arm.

"Sakura," Sasuke said.

Getting up, Sasuke moved towards her and forced her to turn back to face him before he took a step closer to her, fighting his own conscience screaming at him to let her walk away. Touching her like she had touched him, Sasuke pulled her towards him, and slowly, like he was terribly unsure about what he was doing, he moved his lips towards her. He couldn't seem to release her from the hold his eyes had on hers, but he was glad he didn't. She looked so nervous, so beautiful and so ready for him to kiss her. So he did—tentatively, delicately and with great caution.

Sakura could hardly stand Sasuke's hesitation. She had wanted this perhaps as much as he had since she saw him again and now that he was finally ready to try to give her more than just sex, she was so ready to let him have it. Deepening the kiss, Sakura pushed forward, causing him to stumble back, relishing in the fact that he was kissing her back… and he was so good at it. His hands were lifting her hair from her neck, raking his fingers against her scalp, refusing to let up his hold on her. His tongue slid across her bottom lip and Sakura moaned sweetly into his mouth, begging for more. Sasuke pulled her lip into his mouth, gently sucking the tender flesh before releasing her lips altogether. Swollen and panting, Sakura searched for his gaze, disorientated and feeling the loss.

His hands, however, never left her and were trailing down her sides. The silk gown was thin and sheer, and Sasuke could so tantalizingly see through the upper part of it where it pulled tightly around her chest.

Leaning in close to her again, Sasuke rubbed his cheek against hers before flicking her earlobe with his tongue. Sasuke stared behind her into the mirror on the wall, seeing the Uchiha symbol on her back again. "As much as I love seeing my clan's crest on you… I think I want this gown to come off…"

Sakura was breathless at what he had murmured in her ear and then he was pulling it over her head. Sasuke dropped it to their feet where it pooled in a small pile leaving Sakura stark naked before him. Shaking, she kept her eyes locked on his, compelling him to look nowhere else. However, even as he kept her gaze, she felt his hands on her bare flesh.

Pulling her against him, Sasuke muttered, "How did you keep me off of you before?" Blushing furiously, Sakura felt him kiss her with much more fervor this time, his hand sliding down her back to grasp at her ass. Feeling him grab her, Sakura felt her back hit the bed and opened her eyes to see Sasuke staring down at her.

The way he was watching her… it was so… tender. All she wanted in that moment was for Sasuke to be happy and have whatever he wanted. Reaching up shyly, Sakura pulled at his shirt, forcing him to let her pull it over his head. Sliding her legs around his waist, Sakura pulled him down closer against her, feeling his erection pressed against her intimately. As she stared at him, she saw his sharingan engage just before he kissed her.

His tongue consumed her making her cry out as he moved against her in frenzy, his lips kissing her neck and tugging at her skin with his teeth. Sakura couldn't keep her mouth closed from how much she cried out as his hands finally rubbed at her breasts, his lips sucking at her while he grinded his hips against hers.

"Sasuke," she cried. She felt him paused from her startled scream and she fisted her hand in his hair pulling him up to look at her.

Sasuke had never seen a sight more beautiful than Sakura in desperate need for him to fuck her. He needed no further encouragement to finally release himself from the painful confines of his pants. She was dripping onto his dick before he even pressed the tip against her and Sasuke felt her hands gripping his arms painfully.

"Sasuke Sasuke wait wait wait," she muttered quickly, sitting up.

Sasuke actually growled at her in frustration when she stopped him and looked up at her. However, any trace of anger dissipated when he saw how wide her green eyes were shining with fear, anticipation, and passion all at once.

Sasuke leaned back down against her, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry, Sakura."

Sakura clung to him, breathing as if she were running out of air. She wasn't sure how to explain to him what was really bothering her, and as she felt him, hard and throbbing against her, she wasn't sure she cared either.

"Sasuke," she breathed.

He pulled away from her a bit to look at her, his dark hair falling against her skin. She loved how it felt and she wished he would stay with her like this forever.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" he asked, almost timidly.

"It's just… we never really had a chance to talk about any of this," she said.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "About what?"

"About…"

Sasuke stared at her, the frustration slipping back through.

"Whatever it is, Sakura, can we talk about it later?" he asked, irritated.

Sakura bit her lip and stared at him and Sasuke sighed. "What?"

"About children…"

Sasuke stared at Sakura like she had just spoken a foreign language and Sakura seemed to sense his panic though he showed no outwards sign of it until he let his forehead rest against her chest.

"I've always wanted to restore my clan… But I don't want to put you through anything you don't want to go through right now," he said.

Sakura pushed Sasuke up and rubbed erotically at his erection before kissing him. "I told you, Sasuke, I'd do anything for you."

Sasuke returned her kiss and could hardly stand it anymore. "Sakura, I'm taking you whether you're ready or not."

Feeling Sasuke pressing into her more tightly, Sakura clenched her eyes shut and dug her fingernails into his back.

"Sasuke, just do it," she breathed.

Rocking her hips, Sakura felt him plunge inside of her, feeling his body close in against hers as tight as it could. Gripping his hips tightly with her thighs, Sakura tried to regain her awareness. The pain and erotica sensation of having Sasuke buried inside of her made her lightheaded.

"Are you alright, Sakura?" he breathed, his voice rough and ragged.

Staring into his black eyes, Sakura smiled. Pressing her hand against Sasuke's neck she held onto him tightly as she urged him to move. Sliding out of her slowly, Sasuke hesitated, but pushed back into her a little harder than before. He repeated the notion until he was certain she wasn't in pain. He could feel her gripping onto him with every possible way she could, shaking and breathing almost frantically against him. He would have been more concerned if he wasn't overwhelmed by the sensation of pounding inside of her. She felt so good and insanely _tight_ around him that Sasuke was sure he would never let her go again.

Pulling her up into his lap, Sasuke leaned against the headboard and easily pounded into her harder and harder until she was screaming in pleasure right next to his ear. Noticing his vision was starting to blur, Sasuke closed his eyes and kissed her feverishly, fucking her harder, his hands touching her everywhere he could, unable to get enough of her.

Sakura wasn't even so coherent to be able to understand what was causing her such pleasure. All she knew was she was in Sasuke's arms and he was making out with her like the world was going to end and she never wanted him to stop. His chest was sweaty and she fit so neatly against him, her hair rubbing against his neck and cheek as he insisted on kissing her everywhere. That's when she felt him slam into her in such a way her entire body fell numb and she all but collapsed against him, feeling him holding onto her. His wet lips and hard member pushing inside of her was all she felt as she fell into a world of ecstasy.

When Sasuke climaxed, he thought he would never catch his breath or be able to see again. But he did know that Sakura was against him, and she wasn't going anywhere.

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_Note: The story is not over ladies and (I seriously doubt any men are reading this) gentlemen! So stay tuned for more chapters and I will be back in two days! _


	13. A Mind Trapped in Eternal Darkness

_Disclaimer: Jag och f_ö_rfattaren f_ö_r denna historia äger inte TV serien och mangan, Naruto. HAHA.  
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_Note: Just in case you didn't read the last note I left, a couple of AN's Amanda wrote before she traveled to the US are going to pop up in the future, so don't be surprised if you see any. (And I don't think she rushed it at all, silly girl)._

_AN: Be prepared for a lot of time lapses. Oh, and I rushed this. It would have been better if I didn't have to finish it all in one day -_- But I had a few scenes already written that I really wanted to include, so I'm gonna go ahead and rush it. Bear with me… Sasuke's change in attitude should have been explained better, but the jist is there, so pad it in your minds. : D_

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Chapter Thirteen: A Mind Trapped in Eternal Darkness

The next week passed without much change. Sasuke was busy with Naruto as he was being reintegrated into the ANBU black ops. He was going to be a captain and spent most of his time training with a new team even though he would be doing mostly independent missions. Sakura didn't like the idea of it at all, but she knew Sasuke would be fine. There were select few ninja that could even hold their own against him. He had come to their bed every night he could and either duty-bound or desiring her, Sakura wasn't sure, he made love to her.

Even though they really hadn't discussed the prospect of children anymore, they both seemed to have come to an understanding. Sakura knew what was expected of her and with the pace Sasuke seemed to keep up, she would be pregnant in no time. She couldn't deny that she didn't exactly want children so early in her life, but the more she thought about it, the more she believed that it would make Sasuke happy.

Sakura really didn't know where she stood in his life or how he really felt about her, but she felt certain that he would love his own child more than the world and she desperately wanted him to feel that joy again.

When he would go to her he touched her with nothing but gentle hands or passionate embraces and it was more than enough for Sakura. He never told her he loved her no matter how many times she whispered it to him but she didn't expect him to. She could pretend he felt that way from how he treated her when they made love and that was what mattered.

# # #

The weeks sped by and Sasuke was beginning to get complacent in his new life. Everything seemed so normal and perfect that his mind felt out of place. Soon, the old Uchiha district was going to be destroyed… as soon as the new estate was finished in the village. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but Naruto had made it seem like the right thing to do.

Sasuke knew he hadn't wanted to get too close to them again, but Naruto and Sakura were just too much for him. Naruto's good moods were infectious and Sakura's undying passion for him was beginning to seep into his veins. Sasuke wanted things to stay just as they were at that moment in time. For the first time in years, he felt like he might actually be happy again.

Pulling off his mask, Sasuke walked through the streets to his home, ignoring the haze that seemed to sweep across the ground. He had spent the day training with some of the most complex genjutsus he had and he was starting to feel the effects of it. Pausing for a moment, Sasuke pressed his hand to his head, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to get the odd feeling to pass. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke started walking again and looked up, but the moment he could see again, he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and his hands shaking.

"Itachi?" Sasuke whispered, staring into the deep red of his brother's sharingan.

Itachi closed his eyes, his Akatsuki cloak wavering in the wind. "Sasuke."

Sasuke shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He knew this was an illusion… or a hallucination. He was just tired. Looking back up, Itachi was still there watching him.

"You've made quite a life for yourself here, haven't you?" he said.

Thoroughly freaked out, Sasuke got angry. "What is this?"

He knew he wasn't creating the illusion, so what was going on?

"Relax Sasuke. I just wanted to warn you," Itachi said, his eyes boring into Sasuke's. "It's dangerous to be so close to people. That pain is unbearable and not something I wish for you to ever go through again."

Sasuke's expression tightened. "What are you talking about?"

Itachi looked around. "It could happen again. After you have a family, after you have a life… what if the village felt threatened again? It was so easy for them to wipe out our clan, and so easy for them to insist on having born and bred Uchiha's for their forces. Your children will be nothing but soldiers to them that if they gain too much power will only be a threat. They will all be murdered."

Sasuke's body was raked with icy chills that felt as if they were drawing blood. His heart raced in his chest as the bodies of his entire clan littered the streets. And as the blood ran fresh past his feet, Sasuke saw his brother collapse to the ground on his knees.

"They will destroy you, Sasuke… like they did me," he whispered before collapsing to the ground, dried blood on his skin.

"Itachi"! Sasuke screamed, but everything had vanished. Staring around the empty run down streets, Sasuke fell to his knees, grasping his head in his hands, desperately trying to push the images from his mind.

"It was just an illusion… my mind is fucking with me," Sasuke whispered like a mantra out loud, trying to banish his brother's words that were echoing louder and louder in his head, drowning out any reason he could muster.

But. What if he was right? What _was_ stopping the village from fearing the Uchiha in the future? Sasuke had proved quite a disaster for them in the past, what made him think they trusted him now? Sweat dripping down his face, Sasuke pushed himself to his feet and forced his steps until he reached his house. When he went inside, he heard Sakura in the kitchen.

Sliding open the door, Sasuke found her. Sakura rushed to his side when she saw him, but he wasn't listening to her questions. All he could see was Sakura, covered in blood, and pregnant with a child that didn't exist yet.

Then everything went black.

# # #

_~A Few Months Later~_

Sakura sat at the edge of her bed idly, her eyes glazed over and her mind numb. The green chakra on her fingertips faded to nothing and she stared at the empty space before her.

Nearly three months had passed since the wedding and she still wasn't pregnant. She had done everything she could with her medical knowledge to ensure a pregnancy, but nothing seemed to be working and she couldn't explain it. For all her medical prowess, she could even help the one person she loved.

Sakura was convinced that Sasuke's distance from her lately was because of her inability to give him a child. Ever since that night he came home from training completely exhausted he had been strange. He still made love to her, but it was different. His touches were merely that and nothing more. While he had been quiet before that, he was hardly ever around to be quiet at all. Sasuke's misery was really beginning to spread and Sakura didn't know how long she could deal with it.

Deep inside her heart, she wished more than anything that she could make him happy, but unless she could give him a child, she was beginning to think it would never happen. After all, that was why Sasuke had wanted the marriage at all.

# # #

Naruto watched Sasuke as he placed all of his opponents in a mass genjutsu. Before, Sasuke would place them in it and disable it, but lately he had been absorbed by the genjutsu as well, torturing his enemies in his mind. Placing his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto forced his chakra into him, releasing Sasuke and the others from the genjutsu. When Sasuke came out of it, he looked surprised when he saw Naruto.

"What?" he asked.

Naruto eyed him suspiciously. "What's gotten into you lately?"

Sasuke shook his head and turned away, the blood trickling down Naruto's face making him all too aware of how unstable his mind was becoming.

"I'm going to leave early for my mission," Sasuke said pulling free of Naruto's hand.

"Are you sure you should be going on this mission, Sasuke? It can wait," Naruto said.

Sasuke laughed humorlessly. "No it can't."

Naruto frowned, wishing he was wrong. Sasuke was the only one who could pull it off without question and it was a dire situation or else they might lose a lot more people.

"Sasuke," Naruto called.

Turning back, Sasuke saw that the blood had in fact never been there at all.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked.

He couldn't help but notice the strange look he caught in Sasuke's eyes every once in a while.

"I'm fine," Sasuke said, "Just keep an eye on Sakura while I'm gone."

Naruto nodded.

# # #

_~One Week Later~_

Sasuke stared at the illusion of Sakura standing in the middle of the training ground. Sweat poured down his skin as he stared at her, trying to fight the chaos the image sent his mind into. He couldn't get the image to go away anymore. Everywhere he looked… on a mission, training, eating ramen with Naruto or making love to Sakura… he would see her. Her pink hair was blood soaked and her eyes a muted green that didn't shine anymore, one hand resting gently, lifelessly, on her stomach where a small bumb was visible.

"Sasuke."

Nearly jumping at the sound, Sasuke looked behind him to see Sakura approaching him. Turning back around he saw that the illusion was gone, but not after thoroughly breaking him down. His own mind was trying to destroy him.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Sasuke flinched and glanced up at a worried Sakura.

"You didn't come home after your mission… you were gone for days and I was worried," she said quietly, seeing his eyes that were stricken with fear.

Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Sasuke pushed every emotion he could out of his mind, trying to keep Sakura from seeing how screwed up he was.

"I'm sorry, I was just training," he muttered.

Sakura frowned. "Fine then."

Sasuke almost got hit when she took a clean swipe at him and glaring at her he said, "I'm not sparring with you Sakura."

"Why not?"

Sasuke couldn't help but glance down at his wife, staring at her stomach where he so often saw the small bump where her hand rested lifelessly against it.

"I'm not pregnant, Sasuke. So spar with me," she said.

Dodging her attacks, Sasuke grabbed her and pinned her beneath him. "No, Sakura. I don't want you to get hurt."

Glaring, Sakura broke free from his hold and gave him a stern look. "I'm taking a mission tomorrow. It seems pretty clear I'm not going to get pregnant by our schedule, so I'm not going to just sit around and wait anymore."

Sasuke frowned, but remained silent which made Sakura uncomfortable.

"Sasuke, I've done everything I can… I don't know what's wrong," she said, feeling the need to explain.

Sasuke just brushed it off. "It's not your fault, Sakura."

But she felt like it was.

# # #

Over the next several months, Sakura began to head her own squad in the ANBU Black Ops. She hardly ever saw Sasuke anymore since their missions overlapped and after several weeks of not seeing him, she got home to find him back early.

Literally slamming into him as she went into their room, Sakura was shocked to see him, but he caught her before she fell.

"Sasuke! I didn't know you were here," Sakura said. She didn't know why she sounded defensive, but for some reason she felt like she was bothering him. He let go of her and gave her an odd look before walking past her.

Sighing, Sakura got in the shower. She wondered where he was off to. Every night she was gone she missed him more than anything, but she felt perhaps this was the best thing for now. The more time they were away from each other, the more of an excuse for why she wasn't conceiving. Shutting off the shower, Sakura wrapped a towel around her and stepped out into their bedroom. The lights were off and as she reached for it, she felt Sasuke suddenly standing right in front of her, pulling her into his arms.

Sakura hadn't been expecting him to still be there from how he seemed to have been avoiding her whenever they were together, so for him to actually want her was refreshing.

His hands slid over her skin heatedly, his lips hungrily pulling at hers and Sakura was immediately swept away by how he was handling her. Her mind rushed back to that cheap hotel room in the village she had first found him when Sasuke had so desperately wanted her to sleep with him. He was touching her the same way, so frantically, so instinctively.

Pulling her lips away from him in question, Sasuke pushed her down on the bed, his hands pressing against her back.

"Sasuke…" she whispered as he pulled the towel off of her.

Sasuke didn't even hear her. All he cared about was having his wife beneath him, writhing in his arms… this was what he had wanted in the first place, to be able to fuck Sakura whenever he wanted without any complications, and he had finally been able to get away from her long enough to make the illusions in his mind disappear. And if she never got pregnant, then he would never have to worry about losing his family. Vaguely registering Sakura's muffled cries, Sasuke pulled her against him as he pushed into her from behind, sucking at her neck and thrusting into her as hard as he could.

Too long had Sasuke been tormented by his nightmares. It was no mistake he hardly ever saw Sakura except when he wanted to. The days where he believed in Naruto's words, where he cringed at the pain in Sakura's eyes… those days were over. The darkness had consumed him in the form of a pain so strong that it had blackened Sasuke's heart. That's why Sakura was face down against the covers… so he couldn't see her.

Holding her waist tightly, Sasuke pressed his cheek against her back as he pounded into her, fulfilling his only duty to her. He had always suspected she liked it rough anyway, and from the way she was screaming, he suspected he had been right.

This was the only way Sasuke believed he could go on. Someone inside him, he knew that he loved her… and that he could never let anything happen to her. And he knew that he wanted her, and he needed her… but he also knew he could pretend he didn't, and that would ultimately make ever losing her much easier. So that's what he was going to do.

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_Note: Sasuke is SUCH a fucking MORON. Genius my ass. Anyway, leave a ton of reviews for our precious author!_


	14. Naruto’s Decision

_Disclaimer: Aniga Naruto maskeli, Amanda xata. :D  
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Chapter Fourteen: Naruto's Decision

The next week, Sakura had a mission on a team she didn't normally work with. It was a special retrieval mission of a stolen scared artifact of the Land of Fire's Temple that had to be returned because it sealed many secrets of the monks. It should have been a routine operation, but the entire mission was a ruse. The artifact was stolen in order to draw out some of Konoha's elite and ambush them. It was one of several missions to draw out Konoha's best so an attack on the village could be underway. Most of the missions were found out to be frauds and were canceled before teams like Sasuke's were sent out and the planned attack on the Leaf Village was a complete joke… the only detail that went wrong was that Sakura's team had been sent straight into the small enemy nation's camp.

Everyone on Sakura's team was dead except for her, and she had wasted all of her chakra trying to save them. She was currently hiding in the surrounding woods from the camp after leaving a trail of blood directly to her from the ambush site where the scattered bodies were of those she took down before she could escape. Breathing unsteadily, Sakura got to her feet, and moved as fast as she could which was almost pointless. She couldn't believe she had fallen for such a trap…

# # #

"What?"

Sasuke stared at Naruto, his mind reeling with what he had just said.

"All of the teams are accounted for except for Sakura's… they didn't return. I don't think they ever got word of the attack on the village. You have to go now and try to save as many of them as you can," Naruto said walking past Sasuke down the hallway.

Sasuke glared at him. "Is that all you can say… It's Sakura!"

Naruto paused, his eyes heavy. "Go, Sasuke. Before it's too late."

# # #

Sasuke had never ran so fast in his life and as he did, he felt his mind beginning to shut down entirely, closing itself off to the bloodied vision of Sakura he had burned into his retina's. When he found her, lying in a pool of blood, unconscious, he was certain that she was dead. He spent several moments staring at her in disbelief before he began to function on auto-pilot and used a teleportation jutsu he had set up to take her to the hospital immediately.

Sasuke sat in the floor of the hospital hallway outside of her operating room for hours before Tsunade finally came outside.

"Uchiha. She's going to be fine. Go home and sleep. You can come back and see her in the morning," she said.

Sasuke stared at her, his eyes dull and unblinking before he got up and left.

# # #

_~One Week Later~_

Sakura had a dubious look on her face as she followed Sasuke's form as he paced around the room.

"I don't want you going on missions anymore," he said.

Sakura's look became irritated as she glared at him. "Sasuke, these things hap—"

"Not to my wife. You are too valuable to me, Sakura. You won't go," he said.

Sakura crossed her arms and was about to yell at him but he cut her off again.

"How will you ever conceive if you are always gone on missions and getting hurt?" Sasuke said with an accusatory tone.

Sakura faltered as she saw how angry he was and guilt suddenly pooled in the pit of her stomach. "Fine, Sasuke, whatever you want."

# # #

Sasuke and Sakura finally moved into their new estate three months later after Sakura stopped going on missions. She still hadn't conceived and Sasuke had continuously drifted further and further from her. Naruto was far from oblivious to what was happening.

Sakura's injury had acted as a catalyst to Sasuke's poisoned mind. He had become sealed off from them, his desire to remain emotionally separated escalating to new heights. But Sakura could still remember the nights he used to hold her after they made love, and she refused to forget them. She feared that Sasuke would never truly love her and never truly want to be with her, and if she couldn't give him a child soon, she felt certain that he was going to leave again.

Depression was the only way to describe it. Sakura was miserable. She had nothing to keep her busy and no one to confess to. She kept up the perfect pretense in public, and even to Naruto, but she was scared he could see through her.

Sasuke was under the impression he was doing the right thing. He felt in balance again. He was by no means happy, but he was stable. Sakura seemed fine to him, but that was because she didn't want him to know how unhappy she really was. The seasons seemed to pass on without her, and the only thing that kept her going was Sasuke's desperate need to have sex with her. It wasn't so easy to pretend he loved her anymore… but she would take what she could get. For Sasuke, his life was practical and as good as it was ever going to get.

Soon, a full year had passed since they had been married, and things couldn't have been any worse to Sakura. She cried every night he was gone and every night he was with her and yet she couldn't say anything to him. She feared that he might leave her so badly she was willing to do anything to keep him satisfied. However, after so long, Sakura knew she couldn't stay quiet about one thing any longer.

When Sasuke returned that evening, Sakura finally found the courage to talk to him.

"Sasuke," she said quietly. He glanced at her, letting her know she had his attention. "It's been a year now since we've been married… and I felt like you should know that… it doesn't look like I will be able to conceive a child. At this point, it would be a miracle."

Sasuke was silent as he pulled on a clean shirt and Sakura felt like if he didn't say something soon she might scream.

"Are you going to leave me, Sasuke?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

As Sasuke heard the panic in her voice, he finally looked at her, realizing how much pain this was causing her. "No, Sakura. Don't be ridiculous."

He noticed that she didn't relax, but he didn't know what else to say to her. He wasn't exactly disappointed at the news. His life was cursed and it was better if he had less people to look after. Feeling Sakura pull him into his arms, Sasuke almost pushed her away, but when she kissed him, the tears still wet on her skin touched his and it was like she was infecting her with her emotions that he wanted nothing to do with. Pushing her away that time, Sasuke moved past her without a word, feeling suffocated before he left the room.

Sakura stood silently in the place he had left her, the tears coming to a halt in her shock. She truly didn't know what to think… except that Sasuke had made it clear he could care less about having children with her, or more plainly, being with her at all anymore.

And even as she was stunned at the realization, all she could feel was guilt—guilt that she had failed him and how she would never be able to give him happiness.

# # #

The next afternoon, Naruto had insisted on seeing Sakura and meet her in the village for a walk. As much as she loved getting to see Naruto since he was so busy all the time, she wished she could be anywhere else. It was the hardest to lie to him, and it was the worst time for her to put up a front. Finding the bench near the gate, Sakura sat down.

"How is Sasuke lately? I know he didn't take your injury very easily, are things any better?" Naruto asked.

Sakura smiled. "Sasuke's the same as always, but things are fine. He still doesn't want me going on missions. I think he is probably thinking about wanting children soon."

Naruto frowned as he heard Sakura lying through her teeth. She was unaware of it, but he had spoken to Tsunade and knew that they had been trying to have a child since they were married. Seeing him watching her, Sakura looked up at him, startled.

"Tell me the truth, Sakura."

Sakura watched him for several moments before her bottom lip began to tremble and tears began rolling down her skin.

"I think he hates me," Sakura whispered.

Naruto's expression went from skeptical to shocked as he watched Sakura fall apart. For the last year she had seemed fine… and yet, Naruto knew she was far from it.

"What's wrong, Sakura? Tell me," he urged.

Sakura took in a shaky breath. "Sasuke… I don't think he is ever going to recover from what happened to his family. I feel responsible for not being able to give him a child in all this time. I think he is hiding how much it really bothers him. I feel like every waking moment he is with me devastates him or sickens him. I sometimes think that… being back in the village is too hard on him, and that being with me is more than he knows how to deal with. He was fine before I got hurt. I'm not sure why things changed so much, but it's like he has shut me out. He is more distant with me than he has ever been," Sakura said, breaking for a breath and wiping the tears from her face.

Naruto looked at the ground and thought about what she had said. He knew Sasuke was getting worse… but Sakura… she was getting worse too. Ever since Sasuke had come back Naruto felt like this deal had been a terrible idea. Sasuke wasn't ready for her and Naruto could hardly stand watching Sasuke fall apart right in front of him all over again and not being able to do anything about it… but Sakura too?

"Does he love you, Sakura?" Naruto asked, his voice distant as he stared at the ground.

Sakura fell silent. "No. And I don't think he ever will."

# # #

_~The Next Week~_

Sasuke's face was hidden in shadow as he walked to the Hokage's office. He had just returned from his solo mission, blood still staining his uniform. Whatever Naruto wanted, apparently it was urgent. Pushing open the door, Sasuke saw him standing at the window staring out of it. Hearing him enter, he turned, his expression grim and unlike him.

"What do you want, Naruto?"

Sasuke's tone was far away and Naruto stared him down, trying to make sense of what had happened to his friend.

"What's going on, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's stoic expression turned to a glare. "You called me in here before I could even take a shower to ask me a pointless question?"

Turning to leave, Sasuke was stopped by the sound of Naruto's voice. He was winded by the words that had just struck him, and they echoed through his mind before they even truly sounded through the room.

"I want you to leave the village."

The words left Sasuke with an icy feeling running down his spine he had never felt before.

"I've already spoken to the council about it and your status will be considered as permanent leave. Should you cause any problems the village will have assassination squads sent out… _I_ will have them sent out," Naruto said.

Sasuke stood with his back to Naruto, his eyes wide in shock as he heard what he was saying. He had no idea what to say.

"I've spent the better part of my life worrying about you… now I have to worry about Sakura."

Comprehension finally came to him, and Sasuke let his shock disperse. Suddenly saddened by what Naruto had decided, he turned to look at his friend, unsure if he was going to question him or say goodbye, but Naruto had already turned his back to him and was looking out the window again.

So that was it.

"You're free, Sasuke. You don't have to stay here with us anymore," Naruto said, and as spoke, he saw Sasuke turn back around in the glass and leave the room. Nothing could stop the silent tear that fell from Naruto's eyes, crashing to the floor into a million tiny shards.

What Naruto would have never expected was for the stoic expression of Sasuke Uchiha to have shattered at his words.

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_Note: AHHHH, poor Naruto! The decision must have been so hard on him. Next chapter will be up in a few days, not two since Amanda has to get settled in her new house and everything. Ah well, you know the drill! Read and review!  
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	15. The Uchiha That Saved Her Life

_AN: Hey guys! I am finally here in my new home and lovin it! Had some holiday trips to make, but I finally got a chance to work on this. The schedule seemed to work out well… Anyway, only a few more chapters probably. I hope you guys don't hate how I end this. I am beyond AMAZED and THRILLED about all the awesome reviews!! I was in shock to see so many!! Thank you so much! But I feel the pressure to deliver something worth reading now.. hehe, so I hope I don't disappoint. I kind of have a weird idea I'm not sure if I'm gonna go on or not, but if I don't, the story will simply end sooner… so what do ya say? Weird idea green light or end it without a chance of ruining the good run? And a MILLION thanks to Yasmine for updating this fic while I was gone!! Check out her fics .net/s/5472031/3/On_and_On and .net/s/5586606/1/A_Dangerous_Mind (yaoi SasuNaru) and review!!_

_Late AN: Want to warn you guys I'm shifting time layout in this chapter, so be aware the first half occurs basically after the second half for suspense purposes. Don't get confused!_

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Chapter 15: The Uchiha That Saved Her Life

Days passed as Sasuke journeyed away from the village. He really wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it really didn't matter to him. He just wanted to be as far away from the village as he could get. His mind was numb and his body in agony, but he moved on, feeling as if stopping would allow the pain to catch up to him. The faster he moved, the more the physical pain relieved the mental pain. He had been aware of the growing tension between him and Naruto since he had married Sakura, but Sasuke never would have imagined Naruto would ask him to leave.

There was only one person in the world whose opinion Sasuke trusted more than his own and if Naruto thought it was best for him to leave, then he knew that was what he should do. However, when he finally stopped, Sasuke stood with one hand against a tree, leaning on it heavily as he tried to catch his breath. Even as his body nearly collapsed beneath him, Sasuke could focus on nothing but the distance he just put between him and Sakura.

She had been nothing but perfect since he returned to the village. She had remained silent despite her unhappiness and gave him anything she could—focused her entire life on trying to make his a little better. He wondered if she realized he was gone yet, and as Sasuke imagined her devastation at losing him, as he saw her in his mind… he felt himself running again.

Back to her.

Sasuke clenched his fist. He should have fought Naruto. He should have realized right away this was futile. After being with Sakura and him again, there was nothing that would ever stop this pain from striking him with all its might should he lose them in any way. Causing Sakura pain, forcing Naruto to make such a decision. It was his fault entirely.

As if he could finally see clearly, and his world of eternal darkness had finally lifted its endless black from his mind, Sasuke moved as fast as he could—to tell Naruto he wasn't going anywhere.

He would make things right. He would take care of Sakura.

# # #

Naruto stared at the limp body resting on the bed, his posture entirely still, and his eyes wide with shock. Sakura's hand hung gently over the edge of the bed, her body clad in her typical night shirt and shorts, her pink hair fanning out around her face.

"How?" Naruto asked, his eyes never leaving the blank empty eyes of his best friend.

Tsunade watched him, scared of what would become of him. "It was an accident, I'm sure. She must have been stressed about Sasuke and not realized that she mixed up the ingredients for the special natal vitamins she was taking. She took a similar, but poisonous, root for her medicine which slows the heart rate. When she fell asleep… her heart simply stopped beating."

Naruto's expression became angry. "That's impossible, Sakura's never messed up anything like that, how can this be a coincidence? Days after Sasuke left she…"

Tsunade shook her head while Naruto cried tears of fury. He was convinced this was his fault somehow. She had been fine when Sasuke was still there… but when she thought the worst…

Naruto turned his back on the room. "Prepare the funeral."

# # #

When Sasuke finally reached the Hokage's office, there were people shuffling around in a hurry casting leery glances at him. Ignoring them and pushing past them, Sasuke burst through the door and immediately focused on the flame covered back of Naruto.

Naruto didn't stir, didn't speak, didn't move… didn't breathe as Sasuke slammed the door and panted heavily.

"Naruto," he said, his voice hard.

Naruto stood frozen, his eyes heavy and staring into the shuffling village. They were all so busy… just like the day of the wedding.

"I was really hoping you wouldn't come back, Sasuke," Naruto said quietly.

Sasuke glared at him. "Look Naruto. I know… I know Sakura isn't happy. And I know it's my fault. But… I'm willing to do something, anything… that she needs."

Naruto turned back to his friend, casting red and tired eyes at him. Seeing him, Sasuke was slightly alarmed and felt the need to say something more.

"Naruto please, give me one more chance," Sasuke said, as if he could hear Naruto denying him what he wanted, "I don't think I can live without her…"

Feeling his throat run dry, Sasuke couldn't speak anymore. It was like his mind was forcibly shutting his body down from the overload of emotion he felt at that moment. As he had said the words, he knew instantly how true they were. His heart was racing and his blood was pumping through his veins a million miles an hour and he desperately needed Naruto to tell him everything was going to be fine.

_He couldn't lose everything again…_

Naruto felt pieces of his soul breaking away to never mend as he looked at the expression in Sasuke's eyes. He had always been this close to finally breaking, finally reaching that edge that he and Sakura had been pushing him to since their days as genin. And now that he was finally there…

"She's gone, Sasuke."

There was something in the way Naruto said it that made it clear what he meant. But Sasuke wasn't willing to accept that.

"Gone? What do you mean?" Sasuke said tonelessly.

Naruto couldn't suppress the fresh tears that flooded his eyes. "She's dead. Tsunade said it was an accident by mixing the wrong ingredients, but…"

Sasuke stared at Naruto blankly. Nothing he was saying was registering.

Naruto dared to glance at Sasuke and understood he had retreated back into his shell. For good that time. The reaction made Naruto lose his mind.

"Sasuke! Don't you understand? This is all my fault! Sakura… she would never make a mistake like that! She… _killed_ herself. Because I sent you away," Naruto said, his voice breaking.

Sasuke stared at him with a hollow expression. "This is ridiculous. Sakura would never kill herself."

Then, without another word, Sasuke was gone. For the next hour he sat on their bed after having searched the house and everywhere he could think. Naruto had come to tell him the funeral was to begin soon, but he still didn't believe it. Had she really been that in love with him? She had been miserable—that was obvious. So why would she be so upset to lose him? Sasuke stared at his hands. That was exactly how he felt with her. He couldn't bear the reality of having truly lost her, but he had never been happy with her. But this… he had no idea how to force the pain from his mind when he couldn't even accept it. Nothing felt right and he knew with Sakura gone, it never would be right.

# # #

Naruto stared down at the soft pink hair of his best friend trying to comprehend just how this all happened. He had failed her. So horribly that he didn't feel he even had the right to continue living his life. Parts of him wanted to be angry with her for not coming to him first, while others felt in agony that if only she had waited a few more days, Sasuke would have come back to them in earnest.

But that dream was now gone.

Off in the distance, Naruto could feel Sasuke's presence, but he didn't have the courage to turn and look him in the eye.

# # #

~Days Prior - The Morning After Naruto Told Sasuke To Leave~

When Sakura awoke she had a terrible feeling that left her uneasy. Determined to not be so superstitious, Sakura sent the maids home and resumed the chores herself just to stay busy. Late in the evening, long after Sasuke should have returned, there was a knock at the door.

Finding two ANBU captains at her door, Sakura frowned and let them inside.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"Very sorry to intrude, but we have grave news to deliver. Late last evening, Sasuke Uchiha was caught in an accident on the raid mission he was sent on. There was an unexpected attack at the camp he was sent to. His teammates have confirmed him dead and the body irretrievable."

Sakura couldn't resist the urge to narrow her eyes. "Thank you for informing me. You may leave."

When she heard the door click, Sakura let out a sigh and dropped her head into her hands where she sat. She couldn't explain the strange array of emotions she was feeling, but the prevalent one was pain. She knew when someone was lying to her… and they had been lying. Sasuke wasn't dead. But he was gone.

He might as well have been dead to her and that was the decision Naruto had made to ease her burden. Almost mechanically, Sakura went upstairs and prepared for bed. As she stared into the mirror, she searched her face, her body, her hair, everything… What was wrong with her? Why couldn't he even bear to stay with her? Closing her eyes to the unsightly image, Sakura wondered what life could have for someone so rejected. She had hoped for so long that perhaps one day Sasuke might be happy… one day might love her. Now that dream had died, and she would probably never even see him again.

Now there was nothing left for her.

As Sakura felt the emptiness well up within her, she wondered what point there was in going on like this… in being so miserable forever. She needed Sasuke like she needed water and she didn't know if she would survive long without him. Picking up her kunai, Sakura thought about running it cleanly along her neck, but the mess it would make made her sterile mind immediately reject it. Looking left to the bottle on the counter beside the knife she noticed her natal vitamins.

Suddenly her eyes flew wide open in shock as she realized she was due for another check to see if she had conceived. Letting out a humorless laugh, Sakura thought how pointless such a thing would be. Staring at the vitamins, Sakura recalled the dangerously similar root extract she used to make the supplement and closed her eyes at the perfect solution to her dilemma. Not only would it be simple and painless, but it would look like an accident. No reason for her to smear the Uchiha name further…

Picking up the vitamins, Sakura left for the hospital to prepare the faulty batch.

# # #

Almost the entire night had slipped away and Sakura sat staring at the bottle of pills she had produced for her purpose. But as she stared at them, she felt the overwhelming sadness of her loss and couldn't help but think a child could have saved them both.

Unable to suppress her intense curiosity, Sakura sent chakra to her fingertips and pressed them against her abdomen, performing the jutsu that would tell her if she was carrying a child or not.

As the chakra melted inside of her, Sakura's eyes closed and her mind relaxed at the soothing sensation. However, a few moments later, they flew open in astonishment, her hand leaving her body as if burned.

"No," Sakura whispered.

Hastily performing the jutsu again, Sakura, her expression harassed and in disbelief, her hair in disarray from her frequent gestures of sliding her hand through it, finally confirmed three more times that she was… pregnant.

Sitting down on the bed again, stunned, Sakura stared at the blank space in front of her. She kept trying to determine if someone or her own mind was playing a terrible trick on her, but no scenario she ran through in her mind would cause four false positives on a flawless and 100% accurate medical ninjutsu she created herself.

Unconsciously resting her hand on her abdomen, Sakura's eyes eventually focused on her bottle of death. It was then that she realized for the first time exactly what position she was in. Sasuke wanted nothing to do with her and was gone… for good. And if that was what he had decided, she was willing to let him go as painful as that would be. She was carrying a child he didn't want anything to do with anymore and wouldn't know what to do with if he was around anyway, but Sasuke being gone posed more problems than his predictable ineptitude as a parent. The burden placed on Sasuke's shoulders by the village would become her child's burden. By leaving, he had abandoned his allegiance to Konoha and their right to any heirs he might have… but she was bound to them.

Fear suddenly struck Sakura like a brutal wind, but even as it swept through her and terrified her to the core, it breathed life back into her. She wasn't aware of how close to killing herself and her child she had been. But the thought was far gone from her mind. Now she had something to live for far more important than her own life—and she intended to protect it at all costs. After all, even Sakura could acknowledge that this little Uchiha had saved her life.


	16. Shattered Dream

_AN: Sorry if I confused anyone last chapter. The funeral part took place on the timeline after the second part of the chapter just to create a bit of suspense. I'm going to be doing that quite a bit to keep you guys on your toes, so pay close attention to the little notes in the ~Note~ kay? : D It will help keep you straight on when you are. Hopefully it isn't too confusing. _

* * *

Chapter 16: Shattered Dream

Sakura let the hand of the body fall onto the bed. She had stolen the lifeless corpse from the unmarked bodies in the hospital, and even as the guilt plagued her mind, she performed the hand seals of a forbidden jutsu she herself had created, but never expected to use. Summoning a great amount of chakra, Sakura pressed her palm to the corpse's chest, causing a bright white light to flash through the room.

Staring in astonishment, Sakura looked on at a perfect lifeless form of herself. It was a terrible thing to do, but she knew she had no choice. She had to get her child as far away from Konoha as she could and this was the only legitimate way to sever her ties to the village.

The jutsu she created was exhausting, but incredibly useful in situations where she needed to escape or hide. It perfectly replicated her DNA and even fingerprints. No one would ever be able to tell the difference. Tearing her eyes away from the eerie site, Sakura made sure to leave the fatal bottle of pills next to the bed.

As Sakura left the village discreetly, she cast one last saddened glance at the Hokage building. She felt something wretched in her gut for leaving without telling Naruto the truth, but he was too intertwined in the village for her to get involved in such an elaborate lie. Turning her back on the village, Sakura had one final though. Naruto didn't deserve to have to always worry over her.

Sakura traveled under a pseudonym and radically changed her appearance daily to leave no trace. She didn't really have a plan, but that wasn't really on her mind. All she could think about was the child that had waited until the last moment to come and how glad she was that it did.

Finally reaching an obscure town that wasn't on a map, Sakura moved aimlessly through the town. It was a small northern community that was often left out of history because of its safe distance from any border and in consequence, any wars. There were many farmers and local merchants that stayed rooted and did little traveling, making it the perfect destination for her. Seeing a sign in a window that advertised a small apartment for rent, Sakura went inside.

Three months passed before Sakura could see much of a sign of the child in her belly. She had taken up a small job at a local restaurant to pass the time, but even as she made friends and got used to where she was, she felt out of place. However, she never forgot why she was there, and she never grew less determined to stick it out. She'd heard no news from Konoha and wondered what was going on there, but she wished she could forget everything about what she loved so much. She would raise her child as if she were always from this place, as if she had no ties to a great ninja clan of Konoha. Even as she desperately wondered what she and Sasuke's child would look like, she prayed it wouldn't possess the Sharingan, simply so the child could remain protected.

But somehow she knew it would. Everything about her was recessive. There was no way she could compete with Sasuke's genetic superiority. Even as she desired for her child to look just like him, she feared it a great deal, not only for the child's safety, but for her own sanity. Sasuke was gone from their lives, and she was only handling it, not dealing with it.

Six months passed since her "death" before any change of pace occurred for Sakura. As she was pouring a drink for a customer, Sakura caught sight of someone entering the building and spilled the drink all over the table as she sale the long blonde hair of her former sensei. Garnering attention from all over the store at the commotion, Sakura and Tsunade locked eyes and immediately Sakura froze. There was no mistaking the look she was getting. It clearly said, _I know who you are_.

Ignoring the pissed off customer, Sakura took off her apron and left the restaurant heading for her apartment quickly. She wasn't exactly sure if Tsunade had truly recognized her—she was completely disguised with a henge, but that might not be enough to fool someone of her stature. Moving quickly, Sakura went inside her apartment and jumped when she saw Tsunade sitting on her couch, her eyes closed and a cup of sake in her hands.

Sakura was speechless as she accidently dropped the henge in her shock. She knew it was useless anyway since Tsunade had even found her home.

Finally looking up at Sakura, Tsunade's eyes immediately focused on her stomach, seeing the obvious bumb.

"So my first impression is that _that_ must be the reason you did it. What I don't understand is why you found it necessary to go to such lengths simply because you were pregnant." Tsunade said.

Finally letting her body relax a little, Sakura sat down opposite of her and sighed. "How did you find out? Does anyone else know?"

Tsunade frowned. "No. And it took all I had to not tell Naruto immediately. I was just scared I might be wrong, so I wanted to find you first, which was no easy feat."

Sakura cringed at the tone in her voice and finally looked her in the eye to see the critical look she was getting.

"I noticed the body missing from the morgue. And I knew about this jutsu's capabilities. It was flawless, just as you said it was. The only reason I had to believe it wasn't you was that I knew you were not capable of killing yourself, so that along with the knowledge of this jutsu and lots of faith kept me searching for you," she said. "But why couldn't you tell us, Sakura?"

Sakura pulled her gaze away from her master's. "That day, I was closer to killing myself than I can comprehend now. But then, I found out I was pregnant. After seeing what happened to Sasuke, I knew that the same thing would happen to my child, and I couldn't allow for the village to destroy the only thing I had left to hold onto. Protecting my child was worth more than taking the risk of letting you and Naruto know. The pressure it would have put on Naruto wouldn't have been fair. He has a family and he shouldn't have to worry about me so much. It wasn't right. I was simply a burden to him and I didn't want him to have to see me so miserable all the time. He will move on eventually and accept things for what they are."

Tsunade's look was disapproving, but understanding. "He is stronger than you give him credit for, Sakura."

"Will you tell anyone?" Sakura asked.

Tsunade sighed and shook her head. "But you should know something. Sasuke left the village just before you did—that is true—but Naruto was the one sent him away. He was acting in your best interest, trying to protect you. He takes complete blame for your death."

Sakura lips began to tremble as she was hit with the force of what Tsunade had said. "Naruto... told Sasuke to leave?"

Tsunade nodded. "And the day after your body was found, he returned against Naruto's will. He came back for you, Sakura, and to tell Naruto he would do anything so that he could stay with you."

Tsunade couldn't help but feel bad as Sakura's skin paled and tears streaked her cheeks.

"He came back for me?" she whispered.

But Sakura had all she could take. The last thing she saw was a concerned expression on her sensei's face before everything went black.

When she awoke, Sakura found herself in her bed with a cool towel on her forehead. Firelight danced in the hearth casting shadows across her face and walls. Twisting, Sakura found Tsunade passed out in a chair by her door. Resting a hand on her stomach, Sakura thought of nothing but Sasuke. How could she have been so reckless? How could she have been so blind to what Naruto was doing and so blind to her own husband? She knew she and Sasuke had problems, but for him to have returned for her after such an act from Naruto… she would have never expected it.

"So have you decided on a name for him yet?"

Sakura was startled from her thoughts and turned to see that Tsunade was awake and moments later it registered what she had said.

"He?" Sakura whispered in awe.

Tsunade's eyes widened. "Oh, I really thought you would have checked by now."

Sakura smiled. "No, I didn't."

Turning back to Tsunade, Sakura asked, "Do you know where Sasuke is now?"

Tsunade shook her head. "He was gone the day of the funeral. No one has seen or heard of him since."

Sakura stared at her hands and didn't say another word.

That night she left without a goodbye, unwilling to let Tsunade stop her. Sakura spent the next two months unwisely searching for Sasuke. She returned to the village she first found him in, but there was no trace. She felt like she had been everywhere looking for the famed Uchiha, but no one had laid eyes on him. Running out of money and beginning to panic, Sakura made her way to the next city, determined to find him. Her heart yearned for him so much she was even putting her child at risk by traveling like she was, but of course she didn't see it that way. She wanted Sasuke to be there. She didn't want to be alone.

She _needed_ him.

As Sakura began to move slower and slower, a storm began to pass through the region. At first it was just rain, and Sakura was determined to make it to the city, but the thunder and lightning soon followed and she was forced to retreat into a long abandoned cottage she luckily found on her path.

Soaked and tired, Sakura hid in a corner where the roof wasn't leaking and watched the forest light up when the lightning struck. She was numb and shivering and curled up in the fetal position the best she could. Unwilling to let any tears fall, Sakura stared into the darkness.

"Where are you Sasuke?" she whispered.

Alone and miserable, Sakura waited out the storm. She wondered how careless it had been of her to take off in search of someone who would not be found if he didn't want to be. But she had wanted this child for so long and wished for it so many times that she felt like if Sasuke knew, the storm would dry up, her muted world would be filled with life again and she wouldn't have to fear of Sasuke leaving because she had finally given him what he wanted.

But she couldn't find him and she wondered if she ever would.

After another month had passed, Sakura was beginning to lose hope. She had discovered through her searching an old Uchiha hideout and decided to check it out before she returned home. She knew she was close to her expected due date, but she couldn't leave without making sure Sasuke wasn't there. She walked slowly down the path, the long day's travel taking its toll on her. Finally, she reached the small cave opening that had been described to her, the faded Uchiha crest on the walls inside hardly noticeable. The tunnels and rooms inside were extensive and Sakura wondered what the clan had even used such a place for.

Finding the store rooms and living quarters Sakura saw how unused everything looked. No one had been there for years. Sighing, Sakura tightened the wraps she had on her stomach to hide her condition, but the moment she did so, she felt a severe cramp in her abdomen and cringed. Ignoring it, Sakura moved on, but a few minutes later, she felt it again.

_Oh no._

Feeling her back hit the wall, Sakura let out an agonizing cry of pain as a contraction ripped through her.

"No," Sakura whispered, "Not here."

Collapsing to the ground, Sakura desperately loosened the wraps, breathing heavily and wishing she had water. Pulling a scroll from her pack she summoned a first aid kit and pulled the canteen of water from it pouring it on her burning flesh. Feeling feverish, Sakura searched desperately for any transportation scroll she might have set, but she found none.

_How could I have been this stupid?_

Forcing herself to handle the pain, Sakura conserved as much of her chakra as she could so she would get through this should she really have to be stuck delivering a child on her own.

She spent hours in pain, fading in and out of consciousness, wishing desperately Tsunade would find her again, but she knew that it was hopeless. She was alone. When the baby came, Sakura was in a state of fully fledged panic, but the pain was so much that she could do nothing but everything she could to get this child out of her. She could do nothing except what her medical expertise called for somehow in the back of her mind, but somehow she survived. As soon as the child was delivered, her body immediately began to heal itself thanks to her conservation of chakra. She also knew the child might need her medical attention, so when she pulled the baby into her arms in a fit of worry, she was shocked to find it breathing and staring up at her with big black eyes.

As the baby boy in her arms tugged at a strand of her hair hanging down, tears streamed down her skin.

"You look just like your father," she whispered.

Cleaning the child as best she could, Sakura curled up on the cool stone floor, exhausted, with her new baby held in her arms. In that moment, something overcame Sakura as she realized how much she loved this child and how willing to do anything she was for him. She had recklessly searched for Sasuke, so desperate to find him that she had put her own child at risk. It was a foolish thing to do. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that perhaps things were for the best.

Had Naruto not asked Sasuke to leave and he had been there with her when she had the child, she wondered if anything would have truly changed. If she was honest with herself, she knew the answer was no. Sasuke wouldn't have loved her anymore, and he wouldn't have loved their child. It was his responsibility. He was incapable of becoming too attached to someone for fear of losing him. She had been forced to learn that the hard way, so why would she subject her child to the same pain she felt?

Resisting the urge to cry, Sakura held her child tightly. She wouldn't search for Sasuke anymore. She couldn't emotionally handle his constant swaying from trying to make the relationship work to being a cold and distant person. If she were going to take care of a child, she couldn't deal with him too. Everything was screaming at her to put him from her mind, to move on, to think of her child first and not herself.

Sakura almost smiled as she realized how true what they always said had been—children really do make you grow up. But she didn't. She was mourning the lifeless pieces of her shattered heart and trying to come to terms with the reality that the future she had always wanted just wasn't ever going to happen.

* * *

_AN: Please note that I've never had a baby and only get scraps from television and books, so don't hang me if I butchered that. I'm not sure how unrealistic it is for a woman to have a baby by herself, but I know it has happened before, and surely Sakura of all people could handle it, right? Oh and suggestions on the name please. I have no interest in naming the kid, so unless a suggestion jumps out at me, I'm not going to do it. _


	17. Broken Bond

_AN: Wanted to warn you guys that there will be a bit of a rough scene in this chapter. Suppose it is rape, but it's not as bad as that sounds, but then again, rape is rape. This story is going to get a bit darker than it has been. Some of you may not like it, but I can't help it, I love angst._

* * *

Chapter 17: Broken Bond

_**~Nine months prior—the day of Sakura's funeral~**_

Sasuke's hand gripped the window ledge for support. He was doing everything he could to hold himself together, but nothing was sinking in. All this time, he thought he had been shielding himself, but all he had done was set himself up for disaster. He had lost one of the only people in the world he had to live for. And the only woman he would ever love.

_This pain… would never lessen._

What was eating away at his mind was that he had nowhere to direct the blame but himself. Sakura was _dead._ And it was all his fault.

Falling to his knees, Sasuke crumpled to the floor. Hot tears crashed to the ground, his fists clenched tightly.

"Sakura," he said in broken syllables. "What have I done?"

Cracking his eyes open a bit, a glint caught his eye. In that moment, the heavy weight in his stomach lessened as he realized something.

# # #

A gentle breeze lifted his bangs from his skin as he stared silently at Sakura's fresh grave. The sight was unnerving and still set his blood on fire and urged fresh tears to his eyes.

Several meters behind him, Naruto watched with guilt nearly pulling him down into the grave with her. Stepping closer to Sasuke, Naruto muttered, "Sasuke, this is all my fault—if I had—hadn't sent you away, Sakura would have nev—never—"

Sasuke kept his eyes focused on the ground as Naruto broke down. He could hardly stand to hear it.

"You made the right decision Naruto," Sasuke said.

An uncomfortable silence filled the shifting space between them before Naruto yelled, "How in the hell was it the right decision if it meant Sakura was going to kill herself? Don't you see, Sasuke? This is all because you left. Sakura would never make a mistake like that!"

Fully turning to face him, Sasuke caught his eyes and Naruto immediately calmed just from Sasuke's solemn expression. "I'm… sorry for what I did to you and Sakura when I left. I—I had no idea that I was putting you through the same pain I felt. I'm going to leave Konoha for some time, Naruto, but this will be the last time. When I return, it will be to stay. You have my word."

Naruto stared at Sasuke dumbfounded. The black strips of his headband blew gently in the breeze, his wide blue eyes still brimmed with fresh tears.

Sasuke smiled slightly. "When I return, it will be with Sakura."

Naruto immediately grabbed Sasuke's arm, his eyes narrowing. "Sasuke, you don't mean…"

Sasuke glanced down at the silver wedding ring on his hand. "You said yourself committing suicide isn't something Sakura would ever do. I completely agree. The Uchiha clan has always placed a jutsu on the head family's wedding rings. We are bound to this marriage and to each other by more than vows and the rings will never come off as long as we are both still bound by the jutsu. I'm not really sure if that truly means Sakura is alive, but I believe it does. If anyone could fake their own death, it would be her, and I am going to find her. I'm going to make this right, Naruto, so don't give up on me just yet."

Naruto's painful grip on his arm loosened and his tight expression became jaded. "Bring Sakura back, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded. "I fully intend to."

# # #

Sasuke spent the first six months of his search seeking out his old comrades and putting them to work searching for Sakura. So far, he hadn't had any hint of her, but he was aware she would have completely disguised herself. He was using his sharingan way too often to look for her chakra signature and constantly asking about any significant medical praise from villagers.

But Sakura was nowhere to be found.

Staring up at the canopy, Sasuke realized how alone he felt for the first time in years. As he continued to stare, he began to notice the cracks in the canopy where he could see the night sky. It was like a piece of shimmering black velvet with sparkling rhinestones strew across it. He could remember once lying on his side having to listen to Sakura's babbling about how beautiful she thought the night sky was.

Sasuke's heart clenched in his chest at the memory and as he turned to glance over at the space beside him, he could see the young girl so adamantly staring above her, eyes sparkling like sapphires. Then he could see the young woman who had singlehandedly restored his eyesight and let him hold her as she slept.

He had been so selfish then. So easily he had taken advantage of her feelings and used her skills. And all for what? So he could be alone? So he could shatter her happiness? So he could force those who loved him to share in his misery?

Sasuke closed his eyes, the illusion of Sakura beside him still vanishing into the darkness. He had destroyed every chance he had never deserved from them. Now it was his turn to make things right. Glancing down at his wedding band, Sasuke tugged gently, feeling the steady resistance. She had to be alive. What Sasuke wanted to know was why she would go to such an elaborate measure just because he left.

Wondering what she was doing at that moment, Sasuke thought about what he would do next. Searching for her with just his team was getting him nowhere. He was going to have to take larger steps if he expected to find her.

# # #

The next day, Sasuke found himself in the hideout of one of the Water country's largest crime syndicates. For enough money, they could be hired for anything, and while he knew dealing with such people was a least favorable option, he knew it was the only real solution to finding someone who left no trace. Sakura would be forced to stay off the beaten path and closer to parts of the great nations that were not near hidden villages—the parts that were prone to crime.

Sasuke made sure his face was hidden in shadow as he approached the man who he believed had the resources to locate Sakura.

"Why do you not show your face?" he asked as Sasuke stopped before him.

"You don't need to know who I am. I am willing to pay quite generously for you to locate a specific chakra signature for me. If you can give me the location of this person, I will give you the money," Sasuke said.

The man watched Sasuke carefully, the dark shadows under his eyes growing longer as he tilted his head back in thought. "I'll take your word that the money is good. I'll do it."

# # #

_**~Three months later, After Sakura had the baby~**_

_Pain._

That was all Sakura felt as she shifted on the sheets of a bed, her eyes scrunched and fluttered as she tried to open them. There was candlelight in the dark cave-like room, and her eyes finally focused on the bright Uchiha emblem on the wall. However, as she stared at it, the bright red and white was so crisp and clean that she became confused. Everything in the Uchiha hideout was faded and washed away… clenching her eyes shut again, Sakura immediately wondered where her child was.

Moving around frantically, she realized for the first time she had been lying in a bed with clean sheets. Seeing something streak through the barely lit room, Sakura turned back to where she saw the oddly bright Uchiha emblem and felt the blood drain from her face.

"You're awake."

Sakura's eyes widened and her lips trembled. Was she hallucinating? Her hand slipped over her flat stomach. No, she had truly had the child already. But what she was seeing couldn't be real.

"Sasuke?" she whispered.

The silhouette of her husband moved forward, stepping out of the shadows, his dark eyes resting on her. His presence was overwhelming and Sakura suddenly felt even weaker than she did when she fell asleep. The mere sight of Sasuke holding their child was something she had dreamed of seeing and now that he was before her with him in his arms, she wondered why it all felt so wrong.

"Sakura," he said, putting the child in her arms. "Why did you do this? Leave Konoha? Fake your own death?"

Sakura couldn't stop looking at Sasuke. She felt like he was going to disappear. "I… I did it for our son. I was scared of what the village would do to him if they could get their hands on him without you there. So I fled the only way I knew how."

Sakura noticed Sasuke eyeing her wedding ring.

"Your death would have broken the jutsu…" he murmured.

"So that's how you knew I was alive," Sakura said. "I searched for you Sasuke. I tried so hard to find you when I heard you had come back, but I only found out recently. That's how I ended up here."

Taking the child from her arms, Sasuke laid him in a bundle of blankets beside the bed before turning back to Sakura. The way he looked at her made her body tense. Running his hand up her leg, Sasuke pulled her chin up so he could kiss her.

"I've missed you, Sakura," he murmured erotically.

Sakura's eyes immediately narrowed at his words and as he kissed her, she tried to push him away from her, but he wouldn't let her.

"Sasuke… don't you want to talk about our son, about what we are going to do?" she asked.

Suddenly, Sakura felt a strange pinching sensation in her body, like something had disconnected her mind from her chakra network.

"Sasuke! What did you—" Suddenly his hand was over her mouth and his expression was twisted into a malicious smirk that Sasuke had never given her.

Ripping the middle of her shirt down the front, Sakura stared in fear, trying to piece together what was happening. This couldn't be Sasuke. She had no strength to fight him, and even as she tried it was half-heartedly. She hadn't seen Sasuke in so long that even knowing that this impostor was not him, she so desperately wanted to believe it was, if only so she could look at him.

Feeling his painful grips bruising her skin, Sakura felt him pulling at her thighs and the sensation of him pressing against her.

Catching his eyes, Sakura pleaded. "I don't know who you are, or how you found me, but please don't do this to me."

Sakura glanced sideways at her child, realizing how painful this might be if she couldn't find a way out of it.

"Sorry, but you have something that I want," he said, his eye flashing to her ring. Sakura's eyes widened in understanding before her expression became solemn.

"Fine," Sakura said softly, entirely defeated. "Just don't touch my child."

The impostor said nothing as Sakura glared at him. "I promise that if you do, Sasuke will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb. The child is the only blood he has left and I'm not the only one who knows."

The man's eyes narrowed. "Thanks for the information."

Thrusting Sakura face down against the bed, she gripped the sheets in her fists as her body resisted the intrusion. He felt nothing like Sasuke and she couldn't resist crying at the thought of destroying her bond with Sasuke, but it didn't matter. It was unlikely she would ever find him and from now on, she knew she had to get her priorities in line.

Sakura screamed against her will as she tried to ignore the pain. Tears of fury dripped onto the sheets she was staring at, soiling them with tears that should have never been.

Even if she had ever found him… Sasuke would never want her now.

Just before she passed out, Sakura felt her ring slip off of her finger.


	18. Pulling Life From the Ashes

Chapter 18: Pulling Life From the Ashes

Sasuke took another drink of foul tasting sake and wished it would have more of an effect on him. Up until that moment, he had spent every second searching for Sakura that he could. His mind was being stretched so thin he wasn't sure he could go on like this. When he lost his family he felt something but emptiness, and when he lost his brother, he felt like he was on the brink of losing his mind. Sakura being ripped away from him like this was unbearable. He couldn't sleep, he could think, he couldn't eat… he had to know she was alright. It was like his entire life would be a waste if he couldn't take care of his own wife. So many nights he saw her in his mind and wished desperately that she was with him. When had he become so attached to her?

It didn't matter anymore. Often Sasuke could feel her skin brushing against his and then the aching loss of her warmth. He wished he could hold onto her forever because he knew the second he had her in his arms, he was never going to let her go again. He would never let her think he didn't care and he would always protect her. Especially from himself.

"Please Sakura," he whispered.

"Who's Sakura?"

Sasuke glanced up at a woman who sat down next to him and ignored her.

"Is that your wife?"

Narrowing his eyes he turned back to her.

"I noticed the ring," she said.

Sasuke nearly choked on his drink when he noticed the pink hair this stranger had. Was this some kind of joke?

"You like my hair?" she asked lightly, smiling.

"What is this?" Sasuke asked, glaring.

She frowned. "I just noticed a lonely guy in a bar. Thought you might care to go for a walk."

Sasuke couldn't take his eyes off of her. She looked so like Sakura and when she turned her head to glance behind her, she looked exactly like her. Sasuke could feel himself slipping, something he had never noticed before. But now, his conscious was alerting him to when he was about to make a mistake, but he was so far under in his ocean of sorrow Sasuke just didn't care.

He _missed_ Sakura.

Getting up, he walked past the woman. And she followed. Sasuke didn't wait long to turn and pull her into the alley behind the bar and press her against the wall face first. He couldn't resist running his hands through her hair. He could almost smell the scent of Sakura as he kissed her neck, recalling how she felt to him. However, as Sasuke's brushed his hand through her hair, his ring caught the light and he paused.

This wasn't Sakura and he knew it. Taking a step back, Sasuke closed his eyes. He loved her and he knew she would never do this to him. So if he wanted to find her and ask her for forgiveness, he couldn't betray her like this.

Turning to leave, Sasuke was surprised to hear the woman speak to him.

"Wait."

Glancing over his shoulder he noticed the strange expression on her face.

"We've found her."

Sasuke felt his body go numb. "You work for them."

"The boss has accepted half of the money and you are to travel to the Fire Country to meet the subordinate who has located her," he said, handing Sasuke an envelope.

Sasuke took it, tearing it open and glancing at the map. She was surprisingly close to Konoha.

"The subordinate will accept the other half of the money, but you should be warned. He often operates on his own and rarely follows orders. You should exercise caution."

"Why did you do this? Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked.

Her eyes darkened. "It would have probably made it easier for you to accept reality later if you had gone through with it. But you'll see why in time."

But Sasuke had hardly heard what he said before he was running. It had taken three months for them to find her and nothing was going to keep him from getting to her as quickly as possible. He feared enlisting the help of such untrustworthy people, but he had no other way of finding her. It weren't as if she were disabled and couldn't handle herself. She was one of the most notable ninja in the Fire Country, so surely none of these pathetic missing nin could be a problem for her… right?

# # #

Hazy images were fading in and out before Sakura's eyes as she tried to focus. She could make out the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of Sasuke's shirt and watched it fade as he walked away from her. The urge to reach out and scream for him was causing a tingling sensation in her arms and throat, but her mind was too clear to let it take hold of her. As the red and white fan faded from her sight, she felt a desperate longing, but the sharp pain in her chest was lessening, and she could breathe again. Had Naruto been right to try to convince her Sasuke was dead? Had he done what would have been best for her?

Sakura's eyes finally snapped open to the dark room around her and reality sank in. Sasuke wasn't there and he had never been there. Feeling that her hands were bound by thick rope above her head, Sakura felt the cold wall against her back and as if someone had doused her in icy water, she realized her child was nowhere in sight.

Twisting and trying to release herself from the ropes, Sakura jerked and pulled, she it was useless. She seemed to be bound by chakra as well, as if there was some sort of restraining jutsu on her. Biting her lip, Sakrua forced all the chakra she could muster into the bounds and sent a charge of chakra into them, canceling out the jutsu. Cutting through the ropes with chakra, Sakura finally stood freely on the ground, massaging her wrists that were red and bleeding.

Looking into the darkness and trying her best to see, Sakura calmed her mind to sense out any chakra and feels it near the entrance of the hideout. Feeling her child's presence as well, Sakura's eyes widened in panic as she began to run.

_He took my baby. Why did I say anything? He took my son!_

The pain made her move faster, but her body was ready to break. She was pushed to the edge and still hadn't recovered from all the traveling and giving birth. She just didn't know if she was going to be able to stop him. As she ran, Sakura tried to suppress the discouraging thoughts and as she turned into a corridor near the entrance and caught sight of him putting things into his pack. Sakura drew to a halt, her expression furious. Her son was sleeping peacefully in a bundle of blankets beside him.

"Why are you taking my son?" Sakura breathed.

He stood up, his expression dark. "The second I saw that ring on your finger, I realized instantly who you were. Someone is looking for you and they paid top dollar to find you… I was adamant about getting that reward, but now that I know who you are, I realize how much more valuable this child is than any reward I could get. Do you have any idea how much a hidden village would pay for a sharingan wielder? Or just for the eyes and the secrets it possesses? Sorry, but it's too good of a deal to pass up on."

Sakura barely heard him finish before she was on top of him, her punches thrusting into him. They should have been death blows, but she used too much chakra just to break the restraining jutsu on her that she wasn't even knocking him out and before she knew what happened, she was seeing only black. Unwilling to pass out, Sakura tore her eyes open and saw him standing over her, watching her, as if waiting for her to die.

"No," she cried, her strength failing her. Blood coated her skin and the pain was so much, her mind was shutting down. She didn't know how long she laid there waiting for death, trying desperately to get up if she could.

_How could I let this happen?_ _And all because of his Uchiha bloodline… _

Sakura's eyes welled up with tears."Damn you, Sasuke!"

# # #

Sasuke stared up at the entrance to an Uchiha hideout that he didn't even know existed. There was something familiar about it, like he had been there before, but he just couldn't place the memory. Confused, he went inside and felt the cold draft of the unused corridors. Faded and cracked Uchiha emblems made him tense, but Sasuke walked on. He tried to ignore the unease in his body, but every step he took he felt like he was descending into a coffin.

The thought stopped Sasuke where he stood, the realization drying his throat, and knocking the air from his lungs. Sending a fire jutsu down the corridor, Sasuke stared as it lit the long hallway as it seared past dozens of tombs in the walls, the skeletons bones rattling in the wake of the jutsu, names of his clan members etched into the stone. Suddenly, the memories were flashing through his mind faster than he could handle.

_It had been raining. The sky often lit with lightning, followed by the thunder that resonated in his heart, echoing his cries. All around him were strangers, people of Konoha who had known of the Uchiha clan… people he cared nothing for. It was like he was alone and the tomb of his clan was a tidal wave bearing down on him alone, and somehow he was supposed to carry the weight of their deaths on his own. _

_That night, Sasuke left his hospital room and ran. He ran non-stop until he reached the location of the tomb. He wondered why Konoha had placed it at such a great distance from the village, but as he entered the lit corridor, Sasuke passed by the bright Uchiha emblems. As he went deeper into the tomb, he passed by the fresh bodies of his clan resting in their slots in the walls. _

_Finally, Sasuke reached the domed room where his parents were laid to rest, their bodies hidden by coffins at the center of the room. _

_When he finally reached them, he fell to his knees, his eyes downcast. _

_"I can never let this happen again," Sasuke whispered. "I will never let this happen again."_

Sasuke stared down the dark corridor, his sharingan activated and his expression murderous.

"Sakura!" he shouted.

Sasuke noticed the old torches on the walls and lit them with a fire jutsu, searching for any sign of someone. As he stood, wondering where to search, he smelled blood. Sharply turning his head to the right, Sasuke ran and shortly found pools of sticky blood, having just started to coagulate. Feeling his chest constrict with pain, Sasuke noticed a trail… as if someone had been dragged.

Anger coursed through him, boiling his blood. "Sakura!"

The wind nearly cut him as its tiny blades slipped past his skin. The blood trail was long and began to drip as if she had been carried quickly. Knocking open two large double doors, Sasuke realized where he was instantly.

Before him were the tombs of his parents, the light from the small opening in the ceiling sending light streaming down onto the caskets. Sasuke's body trembled as he followed the fresh blood trail to his mother's casket, some of it still dripping down the edge.

All the blood drained from his face as he stared at the sight. Who could… do something like this? Fear kept him from moving as his heart began to beat slower, his blood began to stop flowing.

But then, he heard something. His eyes widened as he heard it again, a faint shuffling noise leading up to the bare sound of something snapping. Sasuke grabbed the blood-stained lid of the casket and pushed it off just as he heard Sakura screaming bloody murder. Frantically, he pulled her from the coffin, his hands slick with her blood and fell to the floor as she scrambled to get away from the corpse she had been dumped on top of.

Sakura's palms slid across the floor as she tried to stand up, but she did not have the strength, and collapsed back to the ground. She could hardly see because of the tears obscuring her vision and the feeling of being trapped in a coffin with a skeleton would not lessen. Rubbing her hands on her skin, as if to brush it off, Sakura desperately tried to rub it away, shaking her head.

Sasuke was in shock. He had just pulled his wife from his mother's coffin, covered in blood and in a temporary state of insanity. He didn't even think she was aware he was there, but she looked like she was on the verge of death. Ignoring her resistance, Sasuke grabbed her holding her close to him, and got out of the Uchiha Tomb as quickly as he could. He had to get her to the Konoha hospital.

She was out in a matter of minutes and Sasuke couldn't help but be relieved that he was finally holding her in his arms again, despite the morbid scene that had just unfolded before him. Sasuke had long ago decided to never return to that place because of the pain and memories locked away there. It was like he could hear whispers when he would visit as a child. When he realized Sakura was there, he had been sure she was dead. Finding her alive... of all places... it felt like he could finally look past the horror of his clan's tragedy, of Itachi's tragedy, and be thankful that Sakura was still breathing, rather than rage at what he had lost.

He hadn't seen it before, but there was still something he could salvage from the ashes of his broken life. And he was holding her in his arms.

* * *

_AN: Good news! I am about to finish chapter 23, which should be the last chapter. There might be an epilogue, but we'll see. Anyway, I feel like I actually captured the feel I wanted in the final chapters and am quite proud of one part, which I put note on so you'll know. :D The above scene sparked from my desire for Sasuke to have to deal with his past and finally see for himself things weren't so bad. And I am just flat out curious what they did do with the clan's bodies... I mean, if there a creepy Uchiha graveyard somewhere or something? Anyway, hope it wasn't too morbid, I can come up with some pretty creepy stuff and this tops it for me. I don't know what I would do if I were Sakura. I walked through the catacombs in Paris last year and it was totally not creepy at all. I mean, okay, it was creepy, but not like you would expect. If I was down there alone, in the dark though, I would be a little freaked out though. Anyway, please review! I love each and every one of them so much!_


	19. The Village Whore

_AN: This chapter is like almost twice the normal length. I don't know how that happened, lol, but cool. Hope you enjoy! I have finished this fic and the epiloguish idea I had. It is 25 chapters, so 6 more to go. There is another time skip coming up, and I think to have that set in, I'm gonna wait a few extra days to post it, so the feel is right, otherwise the time gap will feel weird. And oh yeah, I forgot to mention I love the name I have in this chapter, so thank you to Venus Star 2-com for the idea! I loved it!_

* * *

Chapter 19: The Village Whore

Sasuke sat with his head in his hands outside of Sakura's hospital room. When he had arrived, no one knew what to do when they saw the bloody and dying (should have been dead) Sakura Haruno in his arms, but after Sasuke got angry, the entire staff was buzzing around. They had taken her into one of the critical conditions operating rooms.

Nothing he did or thought of would erase the image of Sakura lying in a coffin, blood coating her skin. What kind of fucked up trick was that? Who and why would someone do something so… Sasuke clenched his eyes shut. It was the most unnerving thing someone could do to him. He feared Sakura's death more than anything and to find her there, of all places. Sasuke was never leaving her again, ever.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked up to find Naruto watching him with worry.

"You found Sakura? What happened? Why is she hurt?" Naruto rushed.

Sasuke stared at his hands, still stained with her blood. It wouldn't come off.

"I don't know," Sasuke said, his voice slow and irregular. "I found her like this in the old Uchiha hideout that they made into a tomb when the clan perished. She was trapped inside my mother's coffin."

Naruto felt his stomach twist into knots. Sasuke looked like a ghost. It was hard to see, but Naruto could tell he was shaking.

"Well, whatever happened is done, and she is here now," Naruto said, glancing into the room. "You found her, Sasuke, that's all that matters."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "Yeah."

# # #

Sakura's mind was hazy from the drugs she was put on for the pain, and her body in a permanent state of relaxation. She felt like it took several minutes to open her eyes, and when she finally did, everything was dark. The soft blankets she was laying on made her wonder where the hell she was. She could hardly remember anything, and as she tried to remember, she found herself searching the room as her eyes adjusted to the faint light from the window.

That's when she saw him. He leaned against the window, his body silhouetted from the light shining around him, shadowing his face, and Sakura felt the relaxed state of her body vanish. When he opened his eyes, the white was startling and she could feel him watching her.

"Sasuke?" she whispered.

Sasuke's eyes seemed to widen as he moved forward.

"Sasuke, what happened?" she asked, trying to understand the desperate feeling welling up in the pit of her stomach.

Sasuke moved to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at her. She seemed dazed, and lost, searching his face as if he were keeping something from her. The pink tint was finally returning to her lips and her eyes were not so dull, but there was something in her gaze that was unnerving him. She was terrified.

"What's wrong, Sakura?"

Her lips began to tremble and her eyebrows shot up as she looked around the room, her eyes never resting. "My son… where is my child?"

Sasuke was so alarmed he didn't even realize Sakura was about to push him before she did it and he had to grab her to keep her from ripping all of the medical devices from her body.

"Let me go! I have to find my baby!" she screamed.

Sasuke's shock could not be contained as he forced her to calm down and pushed her back against the bed.

Finally, after several moments, Sakura was finally staring him in the eye, her panicked expression scaring Sasuke more deeply than finding her near death in the Uchiha Clan's crypt.

Sakura's breathing was labored as she kept her gaze fixed on Sasuke. Her fear and panic was overwhelming her and overriding any feeling of happiness or relief or fear or anything at seeing him again.

Sasuke's grip on her lessened and he finally forced words from his throat.

"What child, Sakura?"

The sound of his voice and the innocent way he asked her made Sakura feel strange. It was like she was realizing for the first time Sasuke had no idea he had a son, no idea what she had been through. And for the first time, she realized how much she needed to keep it that way. He was still staring at her in shock, concerned and confused. If Sasuke knew about the child, it would be even harder to disappear, and even as she sat staring him in the eye, the thoughts she had as she held her child for the first time rang through her mind.

_She had recklessly searched for Sasuke, so desperate to find him that she had put her own child at risk…He was incapable of becoming too attached to someone for fear of losing him…why would she subject her child to the same pain she felt…couldn't emotionally handle his constant swaying from trying to make the relationship work to being a cold and distant person…screaming at her to put him from her mind…think of her child first and not herself._

Her child that had been kidnapped because of who he was, because he was Sasuke's son. Sakura felt the lie stirring in her mind, but some part of her was resisting. However, the words of that repulsive man rang through her.

_How much money just for the eyes and the secrets it possesses?_

She had to find him, and kill him now, before anyone else found out who he was. The fear she felt rising within her made the lie come out without hesitation.

"_My_ child, Sasuke."

Sasuke's expression became blank and he glanced down at Sakura's hand and immediately noticed the missing wedding ring, but all he felt was confusion.

Irritated, he looked back at Sakura, "What are you talking about?"

Sakura couldn't look him in the eye and manage to pull off the lie, so she didn't. "When you left, I was angry, and lonely. And I became pregnant."

Sasuke let go of her as if she had burned him. Sakura almost couldn't believe she was lying to him like she was but she knew what was more important and it wasn't her or Sasuke's decision. He was who he was and she knew he wouldn't ever change. He'd shown her that, so she was obligated to lie.

Unconsciously, Sasuke reached down to his ring and tugged at it, feeling certain she must be lying somehow and the ring would not come off, but as easily as it had once slid on, the ring fell into the palm of his hand, the cold touch of the metal sending tremors through his body.

"I don't understand," Sasuke muttered, staring at it. "It never came off before… it was how I knew you were still alive."

But as he stared at it, he realized he must have let his mind play a trick on him. He didn't want to believe Sakura was dead, so he would have never truly tried to pull the ring from his hand. And all this time.

"So that's why you left Konoha," he said.

Sakura said nothing as she watched him, wishing he would just leave already like he always did. She understood Sasuke thought that she had been ashamed of her pregnancy that he believed was not her child, but she didn't correct him. If being disgraced in his eyes was what it took, then so be it.

"I have to go, Sasuke. I have to find my son," she said.

Sakura moved to get up and started pulling the medical devices attached to her off. However, when she finally got to her feet, Sasuke's hand was on her wrist, holding her back.

Frustrated, Sakura turned back and glared at him.

"I'm going to go with you. After all, this is all my fault," Sasuke said, his eyes closed and his expression blank.

Sakura was about to protest until she realized how weak she still was. Biting her lip, she realized this might be the only way to get him back. "Fine."

They made it back to the old Uchiha place that evening. Silence had ensued since they left the hospital and Sakura was starting to remember exactly what happened. She realized now it was Sasuke who pulled her out of that coffin, and she felt her skin crawling at being near this place again. She hadn't realized what it was before… and the realization was startling. She had given birth to her son in a tomb… the Uchiha tomb of all places, and Sakura felt sick to her stomach. In fact, she felt so sick, she stumbled as she stared up at the entrance, her hand rushing to her head as her vision blurred. As she thought she was about to hit the ground, she felt Sasuke's hands grabbing her, and pulling her back up to his side.

"Thanks," Sakura mumbled, avoiding his intense look.

"Do you know who it was who took the child?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura frowned. "Just that he was some missing nin who knew of me."

"I think I might know who he was working for," Sasuke said. "Their headquarters are near Mist, so we should head there. They should know where he is."

When Sasuke turned and left, he noticed Sakura was having trouble even standing, but was doing her best not to show it. "You'll only slow us down if you keep acting like you are fit for traveling."

Sakura cringed at how easy it was for him to tell she was falling apart and looked up at him.

Sasuke stepped up to her and took her arm, pulling it over his shoulder and lifting her onto his back. "Hang on."

Doing as he said, Sakura tightened her limbs around him and tried to not feel so useless as he moved. Even with her on his back, Sasuke was easily still twice as fast as she was even at long distance paces. After several minutes, Sakura was actually rather comfortable and nodding off when Sasuke spoke.

"When did you have the child?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura's eyes snapped open and out of her near slumber to be hit with a painful burst from the wind. Brows furrowed at his question, Sakura simply told him the truth.

"A few days before you found me."

Sasuke said nothing and the silence ensued for the rest of their journey. Sasuke went on for several hours longer than she would have been able to and finally stopped at an inn and purchased a room for them.

When Sakura stepped into the room, she immediately laid on the bed, her entire body aching. When she sat up, she saw Sasuke pulling his shirt off and noticed the damp area on his back and frowned. She hadn't noticed the pain in her chest until then considering how much pain her entire body was in. Closing her eyes, Sakura hoped that her son was safe. She didn't know what she would do if something happened to him.

"Why are you helping me?" Sakura asked, seeing Sasuke making his bed in the floor.

He glanced sideways at her and muttered, "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Sasuke didn't say anything else to her the rest of the evening, and she didn't try to get him to talk. It was hard enough being this close to him. Besides, Sasuke was always distant, it wasn't as if anything had changed. He wanted her safe, but nothing to do with her.

What Sakura didn't understand was why Sasuke was acting that way then. She had struck him with the idea that she had slept with another man, and he couldn't seem to accept that Sakura would actually cheat on him and so quickly. The truth was that Sasuke had no idea how to deal with what he was feeling. He didn't know how to react to it or who to blame. And that she had another man's child…that he hadn't got to yet. Sasuke was doing his best to put it all from his mind and focus on the many ways he was going to kick Naruto's ass when he got back to Konoha. But even more so than that, Sasuke was trying to figure out how he was going to keep his wife. It was like life kept sending his mind back into the shadows—as if he belonged there. But Sasuke didn't want to be there anymore and yet it seemed nothing he did was going to change the course of his life from now on, and in the dark might be where he was forced to remain, even if he did get Sakura to return.

# # #

The next day, Sasuke met with the leader of the crime syndicate in the Water country. After much threatening, he coerced him into giving him all the information he had about the particular subordinate who found Sakura. He learned that he was last heard of as heading for the Village Hidden in the Rain to make a business deal. When Sakura heard this, her face paled noticeably and Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

They were three days journey away at a quick pace, and Sasuke proposed they do it in two, but anything more would be reckless and put them there when they had no strength. Sakura protested when he did stop, but Sasuke simply ignored her and got them a room.

Sakura tried to sleep, but she couldn't even shut her eyes. She could think only of the small child she had only held in her arms for a short time before he was taken from her. He had affected her life so much and she had dedicated everything to him that if she were to lose him now she didn't think she would ever recover. Throwing the sheets off of her, Sakura got dressed and tried to sneak out of the room, but of course she woke up Sasuke.

"Go back to sleep, Sakura," he said in irritation, thinking she was trying to go on without him.

Sakura scowled. "I'm just going to go get a drink."

Sasuke got up and dressed quickly. Sakura watched him with her scowl still in place as he escorted her downstairs. Sitting down at the bar, Sakura ordered sake and rested her head in the palms of her hands.

"You didn't have to come," Sakura muttered to the counter.

Sasuke said nothing as he watched her drown herself in sake for a good half hour before he had to break the silence.

"What did you name him?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him, even as the thought saddened him.

Sakura gave him a confused look and Sasuke nearly rolled his eyes as he noticed she was slightly drunk.

"Your son. What did you name him?"

Sakura frowned. "I haven't given him a name yet."

Sasuke dropped it seeing that she was on the verge of tears, but she looked up at him hesitantly with her eyes sparkling.

"If we had had a son, Sasuke, what would you have named him?" she asked quietly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the odd question, but decided to humor her. It was probably the only thing that might have saved them before. "Hikaru."

Sakura watched him silently, taking another drink. Sasuke felt like he was being studied, so he felt compelled to elaborate.

"I feel like if the child had been mine, it would have saved us. Perhaps it would have been the light that opened my eyes before it was too late," Sasuke mused, glancing down at his own glass of sake and wondering how much of the talking was due to that.

Another half hour later, they made it back to their room. When she went inside, Sakura paused, her eyes lingering on Sasuke and his cool demeanor.

"Why aren't you angrier with me?" Sakura asked,

Sasuke paused before her and glanced back towards her. "Because I know this is my fault."

Sakura wasn't expecting that answer and it struck something deep within her and her quiet words that followed shouldn't have even been spoken.

"Then why didn't you do something before?"

Sasuke said nothing for a long time, and when he sensed Sakura ready to turn and walk away, he felt like he was being forced to speak to keep her there.

"I was a fool, Sakura."

She watched him sadly, as if he had said nothing of value and began to turn away. Sasuke wasn't sure what he was thinking, but he knew if he kept saying the wrong thing, he might never get another chance to say it.

"Sakura, wait!" he gasped, grabbing her arm, but Sakura simply pulled free from his grasp and moved away from him. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and a rage not directed towards her flared within him.

When Sakura heard the door click shut, she was unfazed. Leaving was what Sasuke was good at, and he only solidified in her mind why she was trying to keep her distance from him—not that it was a difficult task.

Still feeling dirty from when that man touched her, Sakura got in the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could. The burning water on her skin felt like she was rubbing away the feeling that still lingered on her skin. Feeling raw and almost sick, Sakura got out of the shower and reached for her pack, but  
sighed as she realized she left it out in the room. It didn't matter though, Sasuke was gone.

Pulling the towel around her, Sakura stepped out into the cool air and found Sasuke leaning against the window ledge, staring out at it. However, as soon as she saw him, he looked up at her.

Feeling exposed, Sakura moved to the other side of her room to get her pack, but she could feel Sasuke's eyes on her.

The first thing that came to his mind was that she was just as beautiful as she had always been, but then he noticed something odd.

Most of her major injuries had been healed in the hospital, but there were still bruises lingering on her arms, odd ones. The harder Sasuke looked, the more obvious it became that they were from someone grabbing her.

"What are those bruises?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura grabbed her pack and turned to head quickly into the bathroom, but Sasuke was suddenly blocking her path.

"It's nothing," she said.

Sakura shoved past him, but he grabbed her, pressing her against the wall by the door, preventing her from leaving his sight.

"It's pretty obvious what they are, Sakura," Sasuke said, his eyes glaring.

Ripping her towel from her, Sasuke noticed the other, faint, but still there, bruises on her skin.

"Is this why you don't want to stay with me? You're still seeing whoever this person is?" Sasuke demanded.

Sakura shook her head slightly, but was staring at the floor. She had no idea how to deny what he was saying without having to tell him the truth, so she said nothing. But when Sasuke's grip got firmer and she felt the tension growing, Sakura looked back up at him with panic in her eyes.

Sasuke was angry. It was a rare occasion for her to see him to upset, his eyes so tight and his hate so focused on her.

"Why Sakura?" he demanded. "I could forgive one mistake, but how am I supposed to react to my wife becoming the village whore?"

Sakura winced as Sasuke slammed her against the wall harder and she heard him growl out in frustration. Sakura wondered if most women in this situation would be scared because all she felt was pain. She hated making Sasuke feel this way and she hated knowing what he was thinking of her, but it was for the best.

But for all of Sasuke's anger and frustration, he couldn't ever hurt her and as much as he hated it, he still wanted her more than anything. However, he still wanted her to know what she was.

Leaning in close to her, Sasuke spoke. "I always knew you liked it rough, Sakura, but I actually believed you when you told me it was only me you wanted. The second you saw a way to escape you were gone."

Sakura could hear the edge in his voice and it scared her. She wasn't scared of what Sasuke might do, but she feared what she was doing to him. Then, Sasuke pulled away from her slightly, catching her gaze and fixing her with a stare so cold she thought she might freeze.

Sasuke felt betrayed and lied to, but as he stared at her, he could only see the Sakura that he had always loved and whom he would always want and whether he was being blinded or not didn't matter.

Leaning in closer to her, Sasuke whispered against her lips, "If anyone else can have you, then you can at least spare one last time for me."

Sakura was stunned when Sasuke kissed her. His lips tugged and pulled at her so desperately she felt exposed, like he was taking something from her, but she wanted him to keep taking it. The feel of his hands on her was so soothing, so refreshing. It was like he was cleansing her from the ill-intentioned touch of her assailant and she couldn't get enough of him. Sasuke had no idea what kind of revitalization he was giving her with his coarse touches, but he couldn't deny how right it felt to be with her, even as his anger forced rougher actions. But as he kissed her, could feel her writhing beneath him, Sasuke was alarmed by how much she was enjoying being with him. He wasn't sure why he was so unsettled by this, but he felt like he needed to get away from her. Either she truly was a whore, the idea of which made him sick, or she had become the Sakura he had always made love to again, which confused him, because she had clearly changed.

Pulling away from her, Sasuke let go of her completely, leaving her flustered and flushed, her cheeks red and her lips swollen. And as she opened her eyes to see him watching her so unsure, Sakura felt the burn of his gaze. He was labeling her, and as she allowed it, she knew she was destroying them.


	20. Sakura's Unforgivable Lie

_AN: Alright, prepare for even more drama. Sakura has to have her chance to shine as a complete moron, so bear with me. I realize some of you are overwhelmed by the angst and drama, but just stick with it for a bit and see what happens. : D This chapter is the mother of all chapters in the respect of drama and wanting to tear your hair out. At least if any of you react the way Yasmine did when she read it… I was very glad an ocean now separates us due to her flip out. Heh heh… You'll notice I resolve some tension in this chapter simply so I didn't get the headache of all of you screaming at me too much. Love you guys so much for sticking with the story!!! I really hope no one drops it before it's done since its soooo close to being finished. Oh and hey, one last thing. I have a few amvs I made a few months back before I started this fic and I would LOVE if you guys would check them out tell me what you thought. The links are on my profile. The SasuSaku one actually fits this fic quite well. Listen closely to the lyrics (especially the end) and you should be happy. _

Chapter 20: Sakura's Unforgivable Lie

Sakura was surprised when Sasuke didn't leave. He didn't speak to her, but he carried on as if on a mission he couldn't fail. They traveled most of the day and Sakura was back to at least half-strength so she was able to run on her own. The previous night had been eye opening for her. She kept spiraling down deeper and deeper in the web of lies she was weaving and she knew the sooner she got away the better off she would be. By the evening, they found a small inn and stopped just outside the Rain Village. The next morning they would be ready.

Sitting quietly at a booth, Sakura played with her food, worrying that something would go wrong, or worrying that Sasuke might recognize her son as his when he broke the long silence between them.

"What are you going to do when you find him?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura didn't know how to answer but she finally responded, "I can't go back to Konoha."

Sasuke was suspicious of that and didn't understand at all why she wouldn't return to her home.

"The village will hold me responsible for everything, Sakura. You will be at no fault—even for having a child out of wedlock. You are golden in Konoha, so why wouldn't you go back?" he asked.

Uncomfortable, Sakura tried to think of a way to change the subject, but her awkwardness was only making Sasuke more suspicious. She feared he might be onto her, and before she said something stupid, she got up and headed for their room.

Sakura sat on the bed and rested her head in her hands. She felt like she did this a lot lately. She just had no idea how to handle the situation and she didn't know how to answer Sasuke's questions. So when she heard him enter the room, Sakura felt her chest tighten with tension. She was too vulnerable and if she didn't watch it, she was going to blow everything.

However, contrary to Sakura's line of thought, Sasuke wasn't onto her and he was completely buying everything she was saying. He had spent the entire day considering his options and even knowing she had cheated on him, had another man's child and wanted to leave, Sasuke just couldn't accept that.

"Sakura," he said, his voice quiet. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. I want you to come back. I need you."

Sakura lifted her head from her hands to see the dark expression on Sasuke's face and gaped at him. She didn't understand where this was coming from. It wasn't like Sasuke at all. She had lied to him in the worst ways and made him think terrible things about her and he was still begging her to stay with him?

"I cheated on you. How can you be saying that?" Sakura asked in bewilderment.

But Sasuke only frowned at her reaction. "Is it someone I know? In the village? Is that what this is about? People make mistakes—I can understand that. The fact that _you_ would make a mistake is not something I can easily grasp, but I can forgive you for it, and the Sakura I know would be crying tears of joy that I would be willing to overlook it. So what is really going on, Sakura? Why can't you go back to the village?"

Sasuke watched Sakura crumble in front of him and he felt like she was keeping something from him so important that she was willing to destroy herself by leaving Konoha to keep the secret.

"Tell me, Sakura! What is so bad about going back to Konoha?" Sasuke shouted, starting to pace.

Sakura felt like she was cracking under the pressure and as her mind reeled she found she had no idea what to say.

Feeling Sasuke grab her chin and pull, Sakura found herself staring into his eyes.

His grip was hurting her and tears began to fall down her cheeks as she saw the anger and pain she was causing him. "Who is it, Sakura? Who is keeping you from going back? Tell me!"

Unable to stand it, Sakura said the only thing she could think of that would work. That would make Sasuke understand. Would make him hate her.

"Naruto!"

Sasuke let go of her as if she had caught fire and slowly took several steps back. His eyes were wide with shock and his mind didn't seem able to process what she had said, but when she kept talking, it was somehow being forced despite how much he was resisting the information.

"Naruto is the father of my child. That's why I can't go back! The village can never know, Sasuke! It would destroy us both and ruin his marriage! Don't you see? _He_ doesn't even know," Sakura shouted, feeling as if her mind were somehow separated from her body as she told such a terrible lie.

Sakura bit her lip, waiting for his reaction. He was completely blown away by what she had said. It was the one name drop that would affect Sasuke so much and he had no idea how to respond.

All Sasuke felt was rage. Slamming his fist into the wall, Sasuke recalled the night Naruto had asked him to leave… apparently just so he could fuck his wife. The thought baffled Sasuke, but that was what Sakura was telling him, screaming at him, so how could it be a lie? Overcome by her stifling presence, Sasuke left, putting as much distance between him and her as he could.

# # #

Sakura dwelled on what she had said all night. She barely slept and nightmares plagued her when she did of finding her son's body, his eyes plucked from his head and when she heard Sasuke come back, those images are what kept her tongue still. She had known such a lie would affect him like it was. To think Naruto asked him to leave to just turn around and sleep with her would be quite a burn and Sakura was aware of the damage she was causing. As soon as she got her son back and was at a safe distance, she would tell Sasuke she had lied. But she knew the lie was unforgivable. Even if they found a way to look past what she was doing, she could never forgive herself for straining the already shattered fragments of the bond team seven once had. She would try to make things right again, but she had to have her priorities, and Sasuke was no longer at the top of her list, nor was Naruto.

When they reached the Rain Village, Sakura and Sasuke were dressed in long black cloaks and he had only spoken to her enough to make sure she understood his plan. He was incredibly short with her, but she thanked god that he was still there. Perhaps the thought that it was Naruto's child as well kept him focused on saving the baby, even if he despised them both for their betrayal. A light rain dampened her skin as she followed Sasuke into a dank bar and took a seat opposite him. They waited quietly and Sasuke placed a genjutsu around him that would allow him to hear others conversations and as he waited, he finally heard what he was looking for.

_Did you hear? One of Torah's men sold a baby to the Myoji clan. I heard you could buy a small nation with how much they paid him for it! I hear the kid has ties to Konoha somehow._

Sasuke looked at Sakura. "Who are the Myoji?"

Sakura's eyes narrowed. "They are the ninja clan who took control of the Rain Village after Madara's defeat. The Kage Council slapped harsh restrictions on them, knowing many crime syndicates operated out of Rain still and any of them could gain control of the clan by manipulation or force. They've been bitter ever since."

Sasuke frowned. "So that's their name."

Sakura waited impatiently for Sasuke to continue.

"I've heard about the ridiculous security this clan has due to the crime syndicates in this village, but I couldn't remember their name. They have the baby, but Sakura, there is no way we can get the child from within that palace and get out without shedding a lot of blood. If we were recognized, we could easily spark tension between this village and Konoha."

Sakura glared at him. "I don't care, Sasuke, my son is more important than that."

Sasuke felt something heavy in his heart and what she said hit too close to home. He shook his head. "The child is safe for now. The odds are against us. There is only a slight chance that we could pull this off. We will go back to the village. You need this dealt with diplomatically."

Sakura glared at Sasuke with all the anger she could muster. "No, it could be too late by then."

"You can't do this alone, Sakura, it would be suicide. Come with me," Sasuke said.

Getting up, Sakura left the bar and vanished before Sasuke could stop her.

"Damn it," Sasuke said, standing in the rain glancing around after her. Part of him felt obligated to go after her, but the other part felt she was on her own. He couldn't be a part of this. The only option he had left was to speak to Konoha.

To go see Naruto.

# # #

The entire journey back to Konoha, Sasuke couldn't get Sakura out of his head. If she did get captured, she was too important for them to just kill, but still. She was reckless and every step he took, he felt like he had made the wrong choice more and more. However, every step he took closer to Konoha, the more his rage deepened and the more the idea of Naruto sleeping with Sakura sent troubling images to his mind.

When he finally got to the Hokage's office, Naruto was standing as if waiting for him.

"Sasuke," he said, "What's going on? Why did you and Sakura leave like that? Where is she?"

Sasuke hated the concerned expression on Naruto's face and bitingly he told him. "She is looking for her son who has been taken by the Rain Village Head Clan."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about? Her son? Are you serious?"

Sasuke's glare deepened. "How could you do that to me?"

Naruto could feel Sasuke's hatred filling the air and the whites of his eyes shone in the dark room. "What are you talking about, Sasuke?"

"Sakura said the child is yours," Sasuke spat.

Naruto didn't move. He didn't even try to breathe and he took in what Sasuke had just said, but he had to have misunderstood. "What?"

"Don't play stupid with me! Admit it! That's why you told me to leave the village! You wanted me gone so you could get to Sakura when she was vulnerable. I never would have believed you capable of it, but you always did want Sakura, I should have known better," Sasuke said.

Naruto stared at the irate Uchiha completely speechless. And in his moment of loss, Sasuke had grabbed him by the neck and thrown him against the window, cracking the glass.

"The child she is trying to save, and about to get killed over is yours, so I suggest you do something," Sasuke said, releasing his hand from Naruto's throat.

Naruto couldn't speak, but as Sasuke turned away, he reached out and grabbed at his collar. Sasuke turned sharply at his action, his eyes like weapons ready to engage.

Naruto simply gaped at Sasuke, his throat dry and his mind still reeling from what he said and shook his head.

And as Sasuke watched him, he saw Naruto for the first time as he once did. He was just as confused as he was.

Finally finding his voice, Naruto said, "Sasuke, it's not true. I don't know why Sakura would tell you something like that, but I never touched her, and I would never even think of it."

Naruto let go of Sasuke's shirt as they stared at each other when the door burst open and someone ran into the room, stealing both of their attention.

"Sorry to interrupt Lord Hokage, but we've just received an urgent demand from the Rain Village. They claim they have a person of interest and they want the Five Kages to meet and lift the sanctions on their village, or they are threatening to kill them and expose the secrets of the village they obtain from the body."

Naruto looked to Sasuke. "Are they talking about Sakura?!"

Sasuke swallowed hard. "Probably."

Sasuke was so confused he didn't know what to think. What was Sakura after? Was there even really a baby at all? What the hell was going on? He wished he could feel relief, but he felt like things were only worse than ever.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice commanding. "Gather your team and go now. Get her out of there at all costs. I'll order an immediate summit, but I feel certain they will not agree to lift the sanctions. I'll get there as soon as I can. Do whatever you have to—we can handle the Rain Village. This should be handled like a hostage situation rather than a hostile nation, understood?"

Sasuke stared at him for a moment before nodding and vanishing.


	21. Hikaru

_AN: So I've pretty much worked this entire fic to get to this point, and even now it feels slightly out of character for Sasuke to act as he does in this chapter as I reread it. Sooooo, sorry if you get that feel. I get the impression, until Naruto the manga actually ends, anything that isn't a tragedy will seem ooc for Sasuke, so hope this satisfies at least a bit. _

* * *

Chapter 21: Hikaru

Sakura paused when she heard Konoha in the whispering of the crowd outside the palace.

"I heard the Myoji demanded the sanction be lifted from our or they were going to kill that baby they bought!"

Sakura felt like someone winded her as she stared at the grand entrance into the newly built palace. They wanted the sanctions lifted? They were going to use her child as a political move and if she didn't do something quick, they were going to kill him. There was no way they Five Great Nations would agree to such a demand with how much of a threat the Rain Village posed.

She didn't even know if Sasuke was going to come back and she just couldn't wait any longer. Making sure her genjutsu was still in place, Sakura snuck into the palace.

# # #

Sasuke tore open the scroll from the carrier hawk and read through it.

_They won't do it. Get her out._

Sasuke glanced at his teammate and signaled to him to move forward. They had been forced to wait until midnight, but at least now his team might get in before alerting anyone. Waiting until they were gone, Sasuke lowered his hood and took the false response from Konoha to the palace gates and waited for the guard to open the door.

"What is your business?"

"I have a response from Konoha."

Taking the scroll, the guard looked it over before handing it back to Sasuke and nodding to other guards to escort him in. When he reached the foyer inside the palace, one of the Myoji clan members greeted him and read the scroll.

"This the most favorable outcome," he mused, rolling the scroll back up. When he looked back up at Sasuke, however, his expression faltered.

"Wait, aren't you… Uchiha!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What concern is it of yours, I'm delivering the message on the Hokage's behalf."

Taking several steps back he shouted, "Guards! Kill this man!"

Stunned at what could have went wrong, Sasuke immediately disabled each guard as they rose their blade to him and stood in the center of the bodies scattered throughout the room. Grabbing the Myoji man by the throat, Sasuke held his blade there dangerously.

"Tell me where Sakura Uchiha is," he said.

The man shook his head. "I..I have no idea what you are talking about. She isn't here!"

"Stop lying!" Sasuke shouted, but at that moment, Sasuke sensed Sakura's presence and he threw the man to the ground, rushing to where he felt her.

Sasuke ran through the corridors, searching every room, unable to pinpoint her exact location. He was so close he could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead. If someone stood in his way, Sasuke didn't hesitate to kill them immediately. He could not afford to waste any time or it might cost Sakura her life. Finally reaching one of the finely decorated bedrooms on the upper levels of the palace, Sasuke laid eyes on Sakura.

She was face down on the floor, her hand holding a wound bleeding profusely on her chest, her other trying to lift her body off the ground. She was staring at something he couldn't see inside the room when she suddenly screamed.

"Hikaru!"

The sound of her desperate scream sent Sasuke into overdrive. He immediately associated the name with that night at the Inn and suddenly Sasuke was seeing red. Looking deeper into the room, he recognized the clan leader watching him intent eyes. He was wounded and holding a small baby in his hand with a knife to its throat.

"Take your wife and leave," he said calmly, looking directly at Sasuke. "Or I will cut the baby's throat."

Sasuke's look of resentment couldn't have deepened any further, and faster than lightning he was behind the man, snapping his neck and taking the child from his broken arms before he had any idea what happened. Hearing others coming, Sasuke scooped Sakura up into his arms and vanished from the room as the footsteps echoed in the hall.

Sasuke landed in woods just outside the Rain Village and set Sakura down, leaning her against a tree. She had the child in her arms in a vice grip and all Sasuke could do was take a step back and watch her as she healed her wounds with one hand the best she could, but Sasuke hardly noticed since couldn't take his eyes off the baby in her arms, his black hair and eyes so familiar and startling.

"Hikaru," Sasuke said, staring at the child.

Sakura looked up at him with heavy eyes. She hadn't realized it until she saw him again, but ever since Sasuke had said that was what he would call his son, she had subconsciously named him that. Sakura felt the wound close and knew she would be fine to go on by herself until she reached the nearest village, but given the way Sasuke was watching her, she knew he finally understood and even as she feared what came next, she was relieved of the burden of her lie. Now she just had to endure the consequences.

The moon was shining down through the canopy around them, and Sakura clutched her son tighter.

Sasuke couldn't keep from glaring at Sakura, trying to understand why she would lie to him so blatantly, but even as he felt the anger, it didn't compare to the feeling of realizing he had a son. They both knew the other was aware of what each knew, but that didn't mean either of them knew what to say.

Standing up, Sakura wiped some of the blood from her face and looked at Sasuke. "I guess you know that I lied about Naruto."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.

Sighing, Sakura felt the desperate urge to get somewhere safer, somewhere she could feed her child. "I'm going to go, Sasuke."

Sasuke could only watch her walk away in shock before he felt he could move and flashed into place before her. Sakura only paused and gave him a look of discontent.

Sasuke was never much for talking, but in that moment, he felt so angry with her that all he wanted to do was yell at her.

"Why would you lie to me about this, Sakura? And to do it to such a degree as to suggest you slept with Naruto and that was why you could never return to Konoha? I don't understand what happened. Why would you lie to me about my own son?" Sasuke shouted, but as he saw the weary and utterly destroyed expression on Sakura's face, he calmed.

Pulling the child's head to her chest, Sakura kept her gaze on the ground as she spoke. "I don't trust you, Sasuke. And I don't trust the village. The Uchiha name has put a burden on you like no one else and I refuse to let the same burden rest on my son's shoulders. And even more importantly, I refuse to let him have to suffer by being one of the people who loves you."

Any anger Sasuke had felt evaporated as he understood what she was saying.

"When I thought you had left me, Sasuke, I knew I had to get away from the village when I found out I was pregnant. But when I learned it was a lie, that you had come back for me…I did everything I could to find you, and I proved just how dangerous it was for me to be with you. I can't rely on you, Sasuke, and I can't let my mind be tormented by your constant mood swings. I can't raise this child with you," Sakura said, the moonlight catching the few tears sliding down her skin.

Something was tearing and ripping at his chest so painfully, and as if in slow motion, he fell to his knees before her, the resounding thud of him hitting the ground echoing throughout the woods like it was deafening out all other noise. Sasuke stared wide-eyed at nothing, trying to comprehend how he had made Sakura come to this conclusion. He wanted her to stay with him more than anything in the world and she even had his child in her arms but was ready to walk away from him.

_How did I fuck things up this badly?_

When he felt Sakura walk past him, Sasuke immediately turned and stood simultaneously, his arm reaching out to her, and pulling her back. Recalling that night when he had left Konoha so many years before, Sasuke remembered the painful expression on her face and realized how she must have felt. Echoing her words, Sasuke tightened his hold on her.

"Sakura, I would do anything for you. Please, just stay with me," he said, noticing her posture stiffen. "I'll change, I swear. I'll never leave your side again."

Sakura didn't turn back, but every word he said made the pain worse and she fought to hold her ground, in denial that Sasuke was so desperately begging her to stay just as she had with him that night so long ago.

"I thought you were dead, Sakura," he said. "I didn't know how to go on anymore, but when I saw my ring, I knew you were alright… it never came off until recently…"

Sakura looked up at him, startled that he had believed she was alive based solely on that, but when she realized he was looking for an explanation, Sakura cast her eyes away.

"Apparently that missing nin who found me knew what kind of value the old ninja clan's heirlooms had and he wanted my ring…so he…raped me, to take it," Sakura said, her voice even and holding no emotion.

Sasuke's expression turned to anger as he remembered the bruises and how stupid he had been. Just the thought made his sharingan engage, and Sasuke swore to himself he would tear him limb from limb.

"I'm sure you don't want anything to do with me now," Sakura muttered before turning away to leave again.

"Sakura," Sasuke called, his tone sharp, as if daring her to keep walking. "I love you more than anything in this world and nothing is ever going to change that. Everything you've lied about has been because of me, and everything I've ever believed about you has always remained true. I don't think I could bear to lose you again, not now. Just… stay, Sakura."

Sakura cried silent tears as she heard the unmistakable desperation in his voice and as she stared up at the full moon, just like the night he left her, she felt surprised he chose such similar words to say to her. She didn't think he would have remembered, but she knew now he was trying to tell her to not make the same mistake he did. But Sakura knew it wasn't a mistake.

"Things have changed, Sasuke. I'm sorry."

There was nothing Sasuke could do as she vanished from his sight, only the blood on the ground proof that she had been there at all.

# # #

When Sasuke awoke the next day, he found himself staring up at Naruto, lying where he had been the night before in the middle of the forest. Streams of light moved across the forest floor and Sasuke felt like something was wrong. He felt like he shouldn't be waking up there, where she left, but like he should have been waking up in his bed, and finding Sakura beside him.

The fact that all of that had just happened was unacceptable to him. He couldn't believe it… he…

"Sasuke."

Sasuke focused on Naruto's voice, stared at the tips of his black headband ties hanging down past his neck.

"Where is Sakura?" Naruto asked, trying to get Sasuke to get up.

Pulling Sasuke up to a sitting position, Naruto splashed cold water in his face.

"Sasuke! Where is she?"

Finally seeing Naruto's intensely blue eyes, Sasuke said, "She's gone."

Naruto's eyes tightened. "What do you mean, gone?"

Sasuke shook his head. "She left, with our son."

Naruto let go of Sasuke and fell back on his knees. "She was pregnant when I told you to leave?"

"Apparently," Sasuke muttered, "she had a baby in her arms."

"And did it… you know, look like you?" Naruto asked, watching Sasuke.

For some reason, Sasuke felt like he might hit Naruto, but he didn't have it in him, so he just nodded.

"Well, why did she leave? Why didn't she come back to Konoha?" Naruto asked, almost getting mad.

"Because of me."

Naruto almost face palmed at how stupid his two closest friends were. They were more trouble than managing the entire village. Glancing over his should, Naruto yelled to his ANBU captain.

"Get search teams together. Send half of them to find Sakura, the other half to find Tsunade. She'd have the best luck of any of us finding her," Naruto said.

# # #

The next day, Naruto found Sasuke sitting at the edge of the dock, staring out at the completely smooth surface of the lake. Naruto was a few meters behind him, unsure of what to say, so Sasuke spoke first.

"She has our son. I should have known her loyalty would only last as long as I was the only person in her life to devote herself to. She made the right decision… taking him away," Sasuke said, his stoic expression back in place.

Naruto frowned. "That's not true, Sasuke. Things have changed and Sakura hasn't been around to see it. She doesn't know you are different."

"Does it matter?" Sasuke asked. "My name is like a curse. Perhaps if she can manage to change his identity, he will be better off."

Naruto frowned at his back. "Is that all they mean to you, Sasuke? You're going to give up that easily on her? If we had done that with you, you would be dead right now."

Sasuke's eyes flared wider for a moment before he closed them. "She doesn't want to come back, Naruto. What am I supposed to do?"

Naruto took a deep breath and breathed out slowly before admitting the truth.

"I don't know, but you can't give up on her."


	22. One Last Glance

_AN: Well, pretty much this entire fic has been rushed and extended and extended again, but I think I am finally able to say I didn't rush this chapter. It's somber and not meant to kill you with angst and doesn't have any major plot twists or anything, but it's my favorite so far, simply because I feel like my head was in the game whole-heartedly for some reason. This chapter felt right, I think is what I'm trying to say. Anyway, I hope you guys feel the same way._

* * *

Chapter 22: One Last Glance

Sakura let her eyes rest as the sun set outside her window. Hikaru slept peacefully against her chest as she slowly rocked back and forth, and she herself was about to doze off. The peace she felt in that moment was like a gift from god that she rarely ever got. She loved her son more than life, but he kept her busy. She could no longer support them with just a simple civilian job that consumed all of her time, so Sakura started doing some rather under the table work from various organizations under a pseudonym. When she was away for these short periods of time, she left him with the local nurse whom she had befriended and helped from time to time. This way of life left her with lots of time off to comfortably raise her son, but as always, her peace was short lived.

As her heart beat began to fall into a steady rhythm, Sakura was almost asleep when a loud, repetitive thuds sounded throughout the room. Startled awake, Sakura was alarmed and rushed to her feet, her child thrust into a fit and crying in her arms as Sakura stared at the door. Her mind immediately pushed an image of Sasuke standing outside her door to the front of her mind, but just as quickly, she realized the wind had picked up and it was simply the rickety boards of the home taking a pounding from the weather.

Sitting down and tending to her son, Sakura tried to return to her previous tranquil state, but the image of Sasuke in her mind would not fade. Pulling her crying child to her chest, Sakura closed her eyes. He always found a way into her thoughts somehow. It almost felt like there was a gaping hole in her chest that she simply couldn't close and was always vulnerable to the pain. Near or far, Sasuke would make her cry.

As Sakura stared out the window, watching the wind howl through the trees, she realized how alone she truly was.

Alone because she would never be with him again.

# # #

The next few months Sakura watched Hikaru get bigger and his hair grow out spikier every day. He was really starting to seem like a mini version of Sasuke and she almost couldn't look at him without smiling while shedding a few tears. He was perfect and she desperately wondered what Sasuke would be like with him… had things been different.

But one day there came a knock at the door that wasn't the wind, and Sakura found herself face to face with her old mentor once again. Tsunade seemed tickled to death to see the child and insisted she leave him with her for a while. Sakura protested, claiming she had nowhere to go, but Tsunade simply gave her a look that Sakura could not misinterpret.

As she packed, Sakura wondered how Naruto was doing, how big his children were getting now. She dreaded every step she took back towards Konoha not just because of Sasuke, but because of the terrible whirlwind of lies she had strained Naruto under. But then again, he had tried to tell her Sasuke was dead, but he probably knew that was futile.

Sighing when she finally reached the gate, Sakura made no detours as she headed for the Hokage's office. At every turn she expected to find Sasuke, but she never did, and was feeling almost cheated because of it. She was getting strange looks, but the hood of her cloak kept her from the odd whispers.

When she finally reached the Hokage's office, Sakura stood outside the door for several minutes before she finally pulled her hood down, but just when she reached for the door, it opened slowly, and she found Naruto watching her with a solemn expression before stepping back to allow her to enter.

As the door closed, Sakura felt Naruto pull her into an embrace, and as he held onto her, she felt the weight of a thousand years of guilt fall down upon her and it was all she could do to not break down before him.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," she whispered.

"Sorry? I should be the one apologizing, Sakura. This was my fault," he said, still holding onto her.

When Naruto finally let her go, Sakura walked over to the window and noticed a deep crack in the glass.

"That's where Sasuke slammed me against the window because he thought I slept with you," Naruto said, staring at her in the reflection.

Sakura glanced to the floor. "You haven't had a chance to fix it yet?"

Naruto shook his head. "It was my proof to show you how much he really cared."

"About his personal property being damaged," Sakura said.

Naruto frowned at her. "That's not true, Sakura. He has changed more than you could know. Ever since you took off after the Rain Village incident he hasn't taken a single mission, scared you might show up when he was gone."

Sakura couldn't help but being alarmed by that bit of information and she finally turned back to Naruto, realizing pretending with him was useless. He was the only one who might be able to help her.

"I feel like my decision about Sasuke is like I am choosing selfishness or my child's well-being. How can I believe that Sasuke has really changed when he has always shown me how easy it is for him to revert back to normal?" Sakura asked.

"But it's not fair to your child if he has to see you unhappy all the time… at least here, there is a chance things could be different. I won't tell you what to do, Sakura, but Sasuke has changed and I think you should give him another chance."

Sakura was quiet for a moment, memories she had long dreamed about filling her mind at Naruto's words

"He told me he loved me that night," she whispered, "but I thought it was just because of the child."

Not wanting to cry in front of Naruto, Sakura hastily said goodbye and told him she would contact him soon before rushing out of his office.

Sakura nearly ran all the way to the village gates before she finally stopped and caught her breath. Leaning against the wall of a building, Sakura closed her eyes. It shouldn't make any difference if Sasuke loved her or not, because that didn't mean anything would be any different. Even if things were at first, who was to say he wouldn't revert back to his old self? Fixing her expression with a hard look, Sakura fought off the temptation to go find Sasuke that moment. She had to stick to what she felt was right no matter the temptation. Seeing him at all would only make everything harder.

Breathing in and out evenly, Sakura began to move around a corner and towards the main gate. The streetlights shone dimly down the path before her, but Sakura only watched the ground before her, not really seeing what was around her. All she could see what she was leaving behind and she felt a stabbing pain in her heart with every step away from Sasuke that she took.

Nearing the gate, Sakura took a deep breath and finally returned her attention to her surroundings only to be stunned into a frozen position down the street from the gate.

Sitting alone and under the dim spotlight of a streetlamp, Sasuke sat with his head in his hands on the bench she was all too familiar with. He hadn't noticed her and Sakura didn't know what to do. She was transfixed by the sight of him and felt so many emotions at once she felt paralyzed—unable to think, unable to move and unable to prevent him from looking up and seeing her standing there staring at him.

The first thing Sakura noticed were the wet streaks on his skin. Then the incredible shock written all over his face. Sakura swallowed hard as her face heated up.

Had Sasuke really been… _crying?_

Of course he was just as beautiful as she remembered, and she felt almost powerless because of how badly she wanted to touch him, to feel him beside her. She had yearned for it for so long, she feared the feeling would never leave her. She had looked for him and wished for him to be by her side so often, she couldn't rid herself of the feeling that she had accomplished something by finding him here where really she was trying to avoid him.

It kept her from moving, or from speaking at all and Sakura felt herself silently screaming.

But even as her rational side caused a storm, Sakura couldn't help but wonder what Sasuke was doing there, sitting on that bench in the middle of the night, crying. Her heart knew what the answer was, but she simply refused to believe it could be true that he was crying over her. Not after everything he had said and done to her.

This was the same Sasuke who had completely disregarded her begging him to stay and her confessing that she was in love with him. The same Sasuke who knocked her out and left her on a bench.

Sakura stared into his eyes, wondering what he was thinking, and couldn't keep the words from spilling out of her mouth.

"Why did you do it? Why did you catch me that night, and put me on the bench?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke's brow furrowed at her question and he looked to his right, as if staring back in time at young versions of themselves that stood in that spot so long ago.

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt."

Sakura cringed at the tone in his voice. He sounded so unlike the Sasuke she was used to, so in pain and so sad. He still spoke with the same even tenor that she had used to wish she heard more often because of how little he spoke, but now it was different. He spoke slowly, as if carefully placing each word, considering what he was saying and dripping with unease. Sakura didn't believe it, but it felt like he was scared of saying the wrong thing.

However, even as her mind rejected the idea, she felt herself pushing, desperate to make him explain what he meant. "Did you care about me then, Sasuke? Is that why you didn't want me to get hurt?"

As if waiting for the knife to cut into her, Sakura closed her eyes. Her action was so innocent and eye-opening Sasuke felt even worse as he realized how little she understood him now. And how much that was his fault.

"I loved you, Sakura. That's why I didn't want you to get hurt, I just didn't want to then," he said, hoping she wouldn't vanish again.

As if shocked by some unseen force, Sakura's eyes snapped open and onto Sasuke, her mind slipping into a realm of isolation at what he said. She couldn't handle that. He had to be lying, he had to be messing with her, or even worse, he actually meant it.

"You loved me?" Sakura whispered.

Sasuke could hardly stand to look at her without feeling compelled to grab her to ensure she couldn't leave, but he was worried avoiding looking at her would make her think something else. So he watched as her vibrant jade eyes glazed over and looked as if they would shatter like glass if one tear broke free.

"I've always loved you, Sakura. It's just that until recently, I've always tried to convince myself otherwise. When I thought I had lost you, I realized how futile my attempts to shield myself from any pain was, and how much damage it actually caused. I can't undo all of my mistakes, but I can promise you that I will never make them again."

Sakura felt like Sasuke was falling apart right in front of her. As if finally seeing himself for what he was would be too much for him to handle. She didn't speak as she walked closer to him, feeling like something was pulling her. Lifting Sasuke's chin with her hand, Sakura couldn't miss the silent recognition in his eyes that he had lost the battle and the glassy lining on her eyes finally broke as she pressed her lips to his, sinfully taking what she so desperately wanted, but couldn't have.

The moment lasted only a moment, and Sakura knew any longer would leave even weaker than she already was. Pulling away from Sasuke, she couldn't meet his eyes again, and Sasuke couldn't look at her either. He knew she was walking away from him, but to watch would be too much. But in the end, he couldn't stop himself from taking one last glance at her, wondering if he would ever have the chance to again.

And when he did, he found Sakura near the gate, but just before she had disappeared into the darkness, he caught the bright glimmer of her vibrant eyes turning back to glance over her shoulder at him one last time.

* * *

_AN: This is not the end. Don't scream at me yet. The ending of this story is very near though, but there will be another time skip. This last part served as a kind of echo of Sasuke leaving Sakura. I feel like to really mean everything he has been saying and to know it is true, Sasuke would need to understand what he did to her. I get the unpleasant feeling that if she stayed now, Sasuke would end up falling back into his old patterns. He needs to truly understand he can't undo his mistakes with a few simple words, and that there are consequences for his actions. _


	23. By Chance

Chapter 23: By Chance

Sakura left a trail of burning tears behind her as she fled Konoha and rushed back to the world of reason that kept her grounded. So many times she had stopped and turned back, staring in the direction she had just come from. It felt so deeply wrong that she was running from Sasuke and not towards him that she felt conflicted in every way. She truly felt as if she were choosing between him or her child. Who was more important to her? And every time the question came to her mind, she started running again.

When she finally did reach her home, she found her son asleep in his crib and Tsunade passed out on the couch next to a bottle of sake. Shutting herself into her room, Sakura curled up in her bed and cried. Everything felt wrong. No decision she made would ever be the right one and she didn't know how to handle that. She needed a path to follow, something tangible. Right now, nothing felt real, and a fierce wind pushed her back from every direction.

She so desperately wanted to go back to him, but she feared what could happen if she were to let herself get drawn into his world again. Sasuke was the most unreliable, untrustworthy person she knew and she'd be damned if something ever happened to her son, or he was subjected to the Uchiha's cool demeanor.

Gripping the edges of her pillow, Sakura tried her hardest to force all of her pain and anger into the soft cushion, but the second she was asleep, her dreams tormented her with haunting visions of life with and without Sasuke, both good and bad.

# # #

_~Two Years Later~_

Takeshi Miyamoto stirred when he heard the sound of footsteps. He had been on his way to collect a bounty for the body he had been dragging when somehow someone had caught him off guard and knocked him out. Staring into the dark room as best he could, his eyes locked on a pair of red blazing eyes focused on him.

He felt strange as the red eyes he then recognized as the sharingan began to spin and couldn't look away and as the genjutsu descended on him, he realized who he was dealing with.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Only speak when I ask you a question," he said.

Takeshi glared at the man before him, hatred seething from him.

"Were you the one who discovered Sakura Haruno months after her reported death in Konoha?"

"Yes."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed threateningly. "Are you the former ANBU root members who resisted the reintegration program after Danzo's death and caused a brief skirmish before disappearing, leaving the few allies you had dead behind you?"

Takeshi resisted the pull of the genjutsu, but it was useless. His throat raspy and angry, he spat out, "yes."

"So that is how you recognized the jutsu on Sakura's ring," Sasuke said. "What did you do to her and why?"

"I was aware of the value of that ring and what some idiots would pay to have access to such an ancient binding jutsu that only the great ninja clans of Konoha possess. I was aware of how to get it off of her, so I raped her, breaking the bond. But there was more to it than that. It was because of you, Sasuke Uchiha, that I had to flee my home and lose my entire way of life. You killed Danzo and destroyed Root. And because of that, I wanted to destroy the only person you still cared about. Profiting from the idea of disposing of your brat was just an added bonus. In fact, the idea hadn't even come to mind until your wife warned me you would kill me if I touched him."

Sasuke's blood was boiling. "I would've killed you for even entering her presence. But I need to know how much pain you need to endure before I do that."

Takeshi felt his mind rush from the invasion of the genjutsu and suddenly the memories of that night were all around him. The pink haired woman was screaming beneath him, no doubt in much pain having just given birth, and clutching at the torn sheets on the bed.

"Please… take my son out of here," Sakura begged, but Takeshi only forced her head down sideways so she was looking at him before forcing himself inside of her again, watching as her expression twisted in pain.

The next thing Takeshi knew was his world was spinning into a blank black and white alternate universe. And then someone was grabbing him, and forcing him down into what felt like sheets, but appeared only as black surface, but then he saw long hair that he didn't have falling down by his face and he knew exactly what was happening.

The bastard Uchiha was forcing him to live out the memory—from her perspective.

# # #

Sasuke stood immobile over the restrained missing nin who was about to die. It had taken him a long time to find him, but now the time had finally come for him to pay for what he did to Sakura. When Sasuke saw the memory, he felt sick to his stomach. Not only was it from Takeshi's perspective, but he realized that he had impersonated himself to trick Sakura. He had wondered for so long how something like that could have happened to her, for her to get caught off guard so easily… having a child and then believing she was seeing her husband finding her when she needed someone there would be the only way Sakura could have been fooled.

And Sasuke felt all of the blame for what happened.

So when Takeshi came out of the Tsukuyomi, Sasuke spoke the last words he would ever hear.

"I always intended to find the only Root member that escaped. But I would have taken you back to Konoha before. Now you are going to die as slowly and painfully as possible," Sasuke said, closing his eyes.

Takeshi was watching him wearily, the tsukuyomi having taken its toll.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open revealing a sharingan he had never seen before, but even as he looked on upon it, he felt his body burning and found himself covered in black flames lashing about at his flesh.

"You will burn for twenty-four hours before it finally kills you."

As Sasuke left the room, he could hear the deafening screaming of a man burning alive from the flames of Amaterasu.

# # #

Sakura smiled hesitantly. "Look, I really shouldn't be here."

The handsome man with jet black hair cocked his head at her.

"It was a mistake, and to be honest, I only agreed to the date because you remind me of someone. I should go," Sakura said, frowning and getting up.

"Uh, hey," he said, forcing Sakura to pause. "Are you alright? If you just need someone to talk to, I'm all ears."

Sakura looked back at him and _no thanks _was on the tip of her tongue, but he looked so genuine and concerned that she realized how long it had been since she spoke to anyone about her own life. She didn't have any friends and she hardly got out at all besides when Tsunade would drag her out. So why shouldn't she make a friend?

Sitting back down, Sakura smiled hesitantly.

"So this guy I look like," he started, grinning, "Is he handsome?"

Sakura smiled. "You would be surprised he even gave me the time of day."

Shin laughed. "I kind of doubt that. I mean, it's pretty rare to meet a beautiful girl with pink hair."

Sakura stared at her napkin in her lap.

"So you're still in love with this guy, huh?"

She looked up at him, startled. For so long now she had tried to convince herself she was over him. However, she couldn't even sit through a date without thinking of him constantly. "That obvious, am I?"

"So what happened? Why aren't you with him?"

Sakura looked past him at all of the other happy couples, smiling and drinking their wine.

"I just knew we could never be happy," she said.

Shin watched her as if he was looking inside of her and it unnerved her.

"It seems as if you can't be happy without him though. Wouldn't it be better to give it a chance, rather than force yourself to be miserable?"

The thought stayed with Sakura the rest of the week. Hikaru was growing rapidly and she found her life peaceful, even if unfulfilled. She knew happiness was not what she felt, but she did feel calm. It was easy to stay where she was, going on like she was. However, as Hikaru got older, the more and more he looked identical to Sasuke. His hair resembled Sasuke's more and more every day and the looks he gave her with those big black eyes made Sakura feel as if it were Sasuke himself staring at her, imploring her to reconsider.

But her will was solid, and she had become numb to the pain. As long as Sasuke was at a distance, she could maintain the little peace she had in her life, and she wanted to hold onto that as long as possible. Something she knew would be _impossible_ if she returned to him.

# # #

"What's he doing here?" Sasuke asked, not caring how offensive his comment was.

"Naruto asked me to go with you on a mission," Shikamaru said. "And believe me, I fought it, but since he asked me personally, I couldn't say no."

Naruto gave Sasuke a nonplussed look. "Just go, Sasuke, it's a diplomatic mission and I need two of my best guys to make an appearance. Shikamaru will do all the talking. All you have to do it go, alright? You owe me. You were gone from the village for nearly two months without a word."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "Fine."

Shikamaru eyed Sasuke often as they walked down the familiar trail that led away from Konoha.

"Stop looking at me," Sasuke said, glaring sideways at Shikamaru.

"Sorry," he said, "you just seem a little out of it."

"So, where were you?" Shikamaru asked.

Ever since Sasuke had come back after the whole Sakura incident, he knew something was different about the Uchiha. At first, he wasn't willing to believe the bastard could change. Even Naruto had believed it was hopeless… but it was plain as day now. This Sasuke was nothing like the old days. Except for the attitude, Shikamaru thought ruefully.

"I was looking for someone."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Who?"

Sasuke kept his gaze fixed ahead of them. "The man who raped my wife."

Shikamaru suddenly stopped and stared at Sasuke. "What did you say?"

Irritated, Sasuke kept walking. "It's none of your concern."

Catching back up to him, Shikamaru couldn't help but look harassed. "So did you kick his ass?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said.

Shikamaru had thought Sasuke just got bored with being in Konoha and had taken off to find something to do. However, hearing his tone, he knew Sasuke wasn't joking around. He never joked about Sakura. Then again, he never joked.

"So have you or Naruto heard from Sakura recently?"

Sasuke didn't say anything which was an obvious no. Shikamaru frowned. She didn't even talk to Ino. She had thrown everyone for a loop when she faked her own death, but then after Sasuke brought her back to the village near death when she should have been buried in the ground, she took off again, never to be seen.

But of course, the whole story had come out eventually.

"You know there is lots of talk in the village about you getting married again. The elders seem to think it's set in stone," Shikamaru said.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly. "It's not going to happen."

Shikamaru expected as much. He knew the elders were pushing him, but it was like pushing against a mountain. There was nothing they could demand of Sasuke anymore. The village would never allow for him to be sentenced after being absolved and proving how useful he is to Konoha, so the elders had no cards to play. They had insisted teams be sent out to find Sakura and force her to return to the village, but Tsunade and Sasuke had put a stop to that.

Shikamaru sighed as he eyed the Uchiha from a few steps behind him. This could be a long trip.

# # #

Sasuke leaned against the stone wall of their inn and stared at the empty space before him. He was in the alley running off of the main street in the village, trying to ignore the passersby. This place reminded him of the village he had met Sakura in so long ago. Everything he remembered about being with her made him angry at himself. He had been such a fool. The shadows of his long strands of hair falling down his face cast him in darkness. But Sasuke didn't want to be there anymore. He wanted to escape the world of pain he had been lost in for so long and it was as if he could see the way out, but couldn't reach it anymore. The moment he had realized the way out was there, the door simply got further and further away from him. He was trapped in a world of nightmares, frequently reliving finding Sakura dying in the desecrated Uchiha tomb. And ever since he realized that she had given birth to their son there, he had been shaken. How could such a place of death be where his clan was revived? Was it meant to teach him something? That even though he did have a son, he was never allowed to see him? To Sasuke, was he always meant to be dead? Sasuke had never felt such a heavy weight pulling him down into the darkness, and he had never resisted it so much. He felt like he was being punished for being so blind before, for blatantly ignoring Itachi's will. Perhaps losing his family again was his punishment.

Needing to get out of the village, Sasuke moved into the main street and followed it towards the gate. Everyone around him was so happy and busy, but Sasuke moved as if he had no destination. The smells of the restaurants made him sick and the sound of glass clinking followed by the laughter of friends darkened his mood.

As Sasuke pushed through the crowd, he noticed someone brushing past him in a hurry, a screaming child in his arms as he ran.

"Hey! Stop that man! He stole that baby!"

Hearing the commotion, Sasuke turned his head to see what was going on and realized the child had been snatched. He certainly didn't feel like getting involved, but every moment he ignored the situation, he could hear Sakura screaming in his head. She would hate him for doing nothing, and as he realized that, Sasuke moved in a flash, breaking the man's leg and sending him falling to the ground, the child safely in Sasuke's hand. Lifting the child higher in the air as he dangled it by its shirt, Sasuke finally grabbed him properly.

Sasuke's mouth instantly fell agape and his eyes widened like he had seen his own ghost before him. Almost dropping the child, Sasuke stumbled back, but didn't let go of him. His heart was racing in his chest as he stared into the deep set eyes of a child that made Sasuke feel as if he were looking into a mirror of the past. Sasuke's hands shook as the child started crying and a woman's voice cried through the air.

"Hikaru!"

Sasuke couldn't piece together what was happening as he looked up to see Sakura stop dead in her tracks as she laid eyes on him.

"Can't be," Sasuke whispered as he turned back to the child, realizing he must have been about two years old. As he studied him, he felt the child slipping out of his hands until Sakura finally pulled him back into her arms, her eyes never leaving Sasuke's.

Stunned, Sasuke didn't know what to do. He hadn't seen Sakura in so long he almost hadn't recognized her. Her hair was much longer again and looked darker at night and her clothes completely different. The image of her wounded and bleeding holding a baby were what he thought of every moment of the day, but now he was seeing a healthy and fully capable woman with a child. And she was looking at him as if he had come to destroy everything she had built.

Unmoving, Sasuke watched as she disappeared into the crowd, like every person she put between them was another year that he would remain out of her life.

* * *

_AN: Two more chapters. Poor little Hikaru, everyone wants to steal him!! That was just a fluke though cuz Sakura took her eyes off of him for just a minute. I heard a story of some friends that went to Paris and the woman was holding her baby and someone came and literally tried to yank it from her arms, but she held on and he like made an excuse and disappeared. SCARY!!! I'm putting a tracking device in my kids necks. Seriously. Anyway, hope you guys could get the sense of the time skip and Sakura's state of mind. I imagine the little incident in this chapter would unnerve her greatly...losing the kid again to only realize she can't handle him on her own and finding Sasuke had saved him. Hahaha, dumb bitch (just playing!!). This version of Sakura frustrates me too though._


	24. Her Unraveling Will

Chapter 24: Her Unraveling Will

Sasuke sat at the edge of his bed staring at the floor with his legs stretched out before him, his knees partially bent. Shikamaru had left to return to Konoha already, but Sasuke couldn't bring himself to leave. He could faintly sense Sakura's presence and it was too much for him to be able to walk away from. It had been two years and Sasuke still couldn't get over losing her. She was everything to him and he would never be able to forget her. There was only one way out of the darkness, and that was by having Sakura show him the way.

The faint creek of the door to his room opening made Sasuke stop thinking and listen. He was too hopeful to look up, so he didn't, but when he heard the sound of her voice, he felt the tension that had been tightening like barbed wire around his heart lessen.

Sakura tried to sound angry, but her voice only came out as weak and depressed. "Why are you still here?"

Sasuke finally looked up at her, his eyes taking in every inch of her. She was even more beautiful than before, her hair pulled away from her face, but still trailing down her back in long pink strands. The only thing wrong was the look of disappointment as she looked at him.

"I wanted to see you," Sasuke said quietly, trying to not let her hear how miserable he sounded.

"Please go," Sakura said and turned around to leave.

Sasuke didn't think he had ever moved so fast as he did when he moved to stop Sakura from leaving.

"Wait, Sakura!" he said.

Feeling his hand grasp her arm tightly, Sakura struggled against his pull but soon found him holding her tightly against his chest and after struggling for several moments longer, she gave in.

Pulling herself free, she paused and was finally subjected to the full brunt of Sasuke's intoxicating eyes that were deeper than any ocean and she felt like she was drowning in them. She wanted to leave, but she felt trapped by him in something stronger than his most powerful genjutsu and she simply couldn't turn away, not after so long, and not after being this close to him.

For two years she had dreamed every night of seeing him again, or him touching her again, and she was finally paying the consequences of her inability to get over him.

Urging her towards him, Sakura was breathing in his scent as he whispered, "Please stay with me, Sakura, even if just for one night."

His words were so real, so desperate, so honest and resistant to the word no, Sakura had no choice but to let the door slip closed behind her.

She fell completely under his spell as he grazed his lips over hers, like he was testing the waters. Sakura's lids felt heavy as her mind felt the effects of Sasuke's presence. Her hands trembled as she let them rest against his chest. She couldn't stop herself from touching him. It was all she longed for and having him so close to her, feeling him on her fingertips… was like a dream.

No logic could penetrate the cloud of lust suffocating her as Sasuke's lips so near her own pulled back slightly. As if losing the warmth she needed to live, Sakura moved closer to him, wanting to return to that gently caress she felt from his lips being near hers, but she couldn't stop at just that.

Gently tasting his lips, Sakura felt some kind of barrier in her mind snap and suddenly she couldn't kiss Sasuke hard enough as her hands gripped his shirt tighter, probably causing small bruises on his chest. Sliding one hand up to his neck, Sakura held onto him harder, sensing his hesitation. She was getting frustrated that he wouldn't take what he wanted and didn't understand it so when her other hand grasped his hair, she pulled extra hard, letting him know.

Sensing his alarm, Sakura pulled free from her ravenous exploration of his mouth and caught his eyes darkening with lust as if he were drunk by her response to him. Then, before she was ready, Sasuke's hands were lifting her around his waist and her back was firmly against the wall. His lips were hot and wet and kissing her neck with such force she knew there would be red marks there for days. His hips grinded against her, making her gasp at how easy it was for Sasuke to make her wet. And his hands… they were all over her, touching her like he would never get another chance. Sakura tightened her hold on Sasuke's waist, pulling his lips back to hers as she erotically moved slowly against his hips. Her seductive movements had pushed him like she wanted and his kisses were so intense she felt completely helpless as his need for her was felt all over her body.

"Sakura," he murmured.

Sakura's skin tingled at the sound of his voice. Only in haunting echoes or moments of insanity had she heard it and hearing him speak her name so passionately was like a poison to her mind, but an aphrodisiac to her body. Clutching him tightly, Sakura felt him lay her back against the bed and he finally paused for a moment, taking in the sparkling jade eyes he had seen every time he closed his eyes.

Sakura felt like she was unraveling under his gaze.

"Sakura, I've—"

Sasuke didn't react as her hand clasped over his mouth, preventing him from speaking. He knew it didn't matter. She knew what he was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it. Letting her hand fall away from his mouth, Sakura pulled him back against her so she wasn't looking him in the eye anymore.

Pressing her lips close to his ear, Sakura whispered, "I've missed you too, Sasuke, but don't ruin this."

She was surprised to feel Sasuke wince slightly, but he seemed to understand what she had said.

"If this is all I can have," Sasuke said, "then promise me you'll stay all night."

Sakura held him in her arms as she stared at the ceiling, trying to understand what Sasuke was thinking.

"Fine," she murmured, her hands gripping the waist of his pants.

Unable to stand it anymore, Sasuke unclasped them and forced Sakura's knees up around his torso. Knowing she was ready for him, Sasuke decided to torment her further and trailed kisses down her stomach.

Sakura could hardly stand the sight of him doing that, let alone what it felt like to have his tongue on her skin and his bangs trailing along after.

"Damn it, Sasuke," Sakura cried, grabbing his hair and pulling him back to her.

When Sakura's eyes flew open in fury, she melted at the sight of Sasuke's smirk, something that was only a figment of her imagination in the later parts of their marriage and for the last two years, simply something of the past. But seeing him now, the devilish look in his eyes that she loved so much, she almost wanted to cry at the memories it pushed to the forefront of her mind.

However, Sasuke was paying no attention to her anymore and his erection pressing fully into her abdomen now was most distracting. Almost as if it were an afterthought, he pulled her shirt over her head and easily let her bra slip off. Sasuke had sat up to undress her and now was simply staring at her from his position above her and Sakura couldn't resist the blush that rose in her cheeks.

Sasuke didn't care though. He was savoring every moment and as he sucked her nipple into his mouth to tease it with his tongue, he heard the cries of desperation he had been waiting for. Sakura's back arched off the bed, pushing her hips up against his. Even as his mouth kept kissing her breasts, his hands were sliding her skirt and panties off, finally giving him access to what he wanted.

Sliding his fingers inside of her, Sasuke closed his eyes as he sucked at her raw flesh.

"Sasuke," Sakura moaned, her body beginning to writhe beneath his.

She was just as exotic as he remembered and he knew then that everything he had felt since she had left him was just as he believed. He would never be able to be with anyone else. Only Sakura could make him feel like this. Only she could make him feel like he was breathing again. And she would always be the mother of his child.

Kissing her, Sasuke held her in both arms, making sure he had her full attention as he slid inside of her. She had been tight, like she hadn't been with anyone since that bastard and even as he felt her stiffen slightly at him entering her, he was beyond relieved to think she hadn't been sleeping with other men while she was away from him.

Sakura's fingernails dung into his back and Sasuke loved the pain she caused him. He so desperately loved feeling her against him he couldn't give her anymore time before he forced his way back into her again.

Sakura felt, in her state of what seemed like eternal bliss, like everything was as it should be. Sasuke was holding her, his body that fit so perfectly against her own was pounding into her and she was lifting her hips to meet him at every thrust. There was nothing that would ever compare to being with him like this and as Sakura drew blood on his skin as her body was flooded with heat, she felt Sasuke's teeth nip at her neck as he kissed her.

When he pulled up to glance at her, she was surprised to see the sweat dripping down his skin, his bangs still covering his forehead unlike it had when they were kids. Scared of looking at him too long, Sakura pulled him into a deep kiss that neither of them ever wanted to end.

But even as Sasuke held onto her, trying to prolong the inevitable end of their lovemaking, he felt content. He was just sad that it would be short-lived.

# # #

Sakura watched the peaceful rise and fall of Sasuke chest for several moments before she finally pulled herself from his body and redressed. He was incredibly easy to trap in a genjutsu when he was climaxing and even as she felt guity about it, she knew he would make this even harder if he was awake. He got his night and Sakura got a fresh reason to be depressed. Trying to not look at him again, Sakura walked to the door and rested her hand on the knob.

Sighing, she turned back, seeing how peaceful and content he looked. If only he would remain that way forever, maybe they would have had a chance.

As if she were fighting gravity, Sakura pulled the door open and left the room fully aware she might never see Sasuke again.

# # #

When Sasuke awoke, he knew she would be gone. He just didn't realize how disorienting it would be when it happened. He knew he should go back to Konoha, and even though she was the one to leave him, he felt like he was allowing it by going. However, that wouldn't change anything.

Feeling like she couldn't have the last word, Sasuke picked up the pen and paper on the table beside him.

# # #

Sakura awoke early that next morning after returning home with a sense of alarm. Rushing to her door, she pulled it open and glanced around, but there was only a small note fluttering in the air before her. Clutching it in her hands, she looked down at the neat script she instantly recognized as Sasuke's and read:

_In my world, there is no chance of going on without you._

A sharp wind stung her skin as tears dripped onto the paper, staining it just as Hikaru started to cry. Sasuke's chakra presence had just faded completely.

# # #

Almost as soon as Sasuke returned to Konoha, the elders had summoned him, which he ignored. However, eventually, they came to him, insisting that he remarry, but his response was simply that he was married. Unable to handle their constant badgering, Sasuke simply stayed locked in his house, not letting anyone in anymore. He couldn't stop thinking of Sakura. Seeing her was like postponing the inevitable, but he didn't regret it. He craved her so badly he would live with the torture of only seeing her once every few years if she would allow it, but he knew she wouldn't remain in that village for long. She would disappear with the wind and he would never make such a coincidental discovery again.

Even as Sakura kept him awake at night, Sasuke couldn't get the image of his son out of his mind either. He had dug out old family photos and spent hours staring at pictures of himself as a baby and growing up to be Hikaru's age. He must have looked just like him, so it appeased Sasuke at having lost that time with his son. For a short time, Sasuke was angry with Sakura for taking that from him, it quickly dissipated. She had every reason to believe he was better off with him around, and truth be told, that was probably still true.

Sasuke was convinced he could make things work, but he knew how easily he was swayed and feared hurting her again, or being even indirectly responsible for her pain. At least now she suffered only because she couldn't forget him and not because of him, but was there really a difference?

Sasuke had never felt so sure that he had truly lost her as he did then.

# # #

Sakura was thinking of the same question in her mind, but coming to a different conclusion. It was clear Sasuke had changed and when she had seen him looking at their son in the crowd, he seemed so fascinated and terrified by him that she was stunned. Indifferent would have been what she expected, and it wasn't just because he was surprised to see him. Sasuke had been truly captivated by Hikaru, and how he would react to him was what she had always feared. She could be miserable anywhere, with or without him, it truly made no difference.

But what was the right decision?

As she watched Hikaru play, she had more and more flashes of what Sasuke must have once been like. It scared her to think of how easily her own son could change so much from the smiling happy boy to someone as tormented as Sasuke. She vowed to never let that happen to him.

However, even as she thought that, she recalled what Naruto had said to her. How Sasuke had changed and she should give him another chance. After being with him the previous night, the idea was appealing, but she couldn't let her own desires get in the way of what needed to be done.

Sakura spent the next few weeks doing nothing but dwelling on the matter and crying in random fits. One night she had even rushed back to the hotel room, bursting into an empty space even though she knew Sasuke was long gone. Her nights were filled with Sasuke's words, telling her he loved her and he wanted her to stay with him. She feared what he meant when he said he couldn't go on without her. This new version of Sasuke he and everyone else was trying to form of him in her mind was clashing horribly with her experience with him except until recently. Even when she had met him when she went to search for him he proved he was just as he had always been—someone who would always betray her love and trust. How many times did she have to learn that lesson?

But then again, he had told her things that left her speechless… that he had always loved her, that he had _remembered_ what she said to him all that time, word for word.

Sakura glanced down at her son, seeing him smiling as he pounced like the puppy that she had come home to when Tsunade had looked after him. Hikaru was truly hard to tell no, and as Sakura saw him smile, Sakura was struck by Sasuke's smile that she had only seen a few rare times, but when she had… Sakura closed her eyes. She realized even during all of the bad, there had always been good. Underneath, it wasn't impossible to believe he was this person in the image being painted of him.

Like her son, she had always found it impossible to tell Sasuke no.

* * *

_AN: Yay! Only one left. So, I started watching Romeo and Juliet and I LOVE IT TO PIECES!!!!! It's so GOOD. I insist any fans of SasuSaku watch it. Perhaps try it subbed though, I'm not feeling the dub too much and I typically like dubs a lot better. Please review!_


	25. Out of the Darkness

_AN: Please note, the story is over just before the six month time skip, but I am adding the next part on because it makes me happy. Hope you enjoy the addition too._

* * *

Chapter 25: Out of the Darkness

Sasuke stared up at the sky, the dew forming on the grass all around him. Team Seven's old training ground was like a sanctuary to him. It was the time he had been happiest in his life since his family was gone and he wished he could have those days back. All he had now were memories.

Sensing Naruto nearing him, Sasuke just lay there, and waited until Naruto bent down and looked at him.

"What are you doing out here?" Naruto asked, his cloak swaying in the wind around him.

Sasuke stared up at Naruto's wide blue eyes and shrugged.

"Well, since your already here," Naruto said.

Sasuke almost didn't dodge the monster punch Naruto threw at him. Now several meters away from him and on his feet, Sasuke glared at him and immediately activated his sharingan. He had learned long ago he couldn't take Naruto lightly anymore.

"You wanna spar huh?" Sasuke said.

Naruto smirked. "Yeah."

It wasn't long before Naruto had Sasuke pinned to the ground, a kunai to his throat, and Sasuke's sword of kusanagi piercing the ground several meters away, but Sasuke only smirked.

"You just got lucky," he said.

Naruto let go of him and got up, seeing the blood on Sasuke's face for the first time. He didn't think he had caught him that time and the image unsettled him. It reminded him of when they had fought for real so many years before, when he thought he was really losing Sasuke.

Naruto turned to leave, mentioning something about having to tuck his kids in, but Sasuke's demanding voice stopped him.

"Naruto."

Turning back, Naruto saw how deep in thought he was and felt he knew what he was going to say.

"If Sakura doesn't come back soon, I can't stay here."

Naruto closed his eyes and turned away. "I know."

# # #

As Sasuke walked home that night, he wondered if he even wanted to go. Every impulse in his body was telling him to go back to that village to where he had found Sakura's cottage and beg her to stay with him, do whatever he had to do to convince her. Even as much as he wanted to though, he wondered if it was best. Was his son better off away from the politics of being one of the last Uchiha? Was Sakura better off without him? Were both of them better off without ties to his name? Pausing in the middle of the empty street, Sasuke gritted his teeth, trying to understand what he was supposed to do.

If he left Konoha, at least maybe he would be able to change course, leave what was familiar and put her from his mind. Physical pain crept into his arms, like he was supposed to stop himself at the thought. No, it didn't matter where he was, he would always miss her, but it would still be better than being forced to remarry. If the village thought he would ever agree to that, they were sorely mistaken.

Realizing he had no reason to stay there, Sasuke turned back and looked in the direction out of the village. He just needed a few things. Naruto would understand.

They both knew Sakura wasn't coming back.

When Sasuke returned, all of the lights were out and the house was completely dark. As he moved through the house to the stairs, he realized how clean everything looked, as if someone had just detailed all the rooms and he realized one of the maids must have been there despite him telling them to keep out. Irritated, Sasuke went to the upper floor and traversed the dark corridor with his eyes closed. He wouldn't be long, he just needed to grab a pack. Then he would put this behind him. Sasuke's brow furrowed and he clenched his eyes shut in pain.

Gripping the door handle, Sasuke was about to pull it open when he heard something down the hall. Glancing behind him, he sensed something was off. Letting go of the handle he moved down the hall to the room he heard the noise. The corridor seemed to stretch for miles before him, shadows swallowing him as he noticed the faint light at the end of the hall.

Sasuke felt like he was fighting against some unseen force, like the shadows had clawed arms pulling at him trying to keep him from reaching the light. His chest hurt and his body weighed him down, but he knew there was something important about this light.

And as he moved, Sasuke felt something give. As his hand fell gently against the door, Sasuke breathed in deep heavy breaths. The light shone out from the cracks of the door and faintly through the screen. Nothing was holding him back anymore, his chest didn't hurt and he felt hot tears burn his eyes.

Then the tracks sounded as the door was slid open.

Illuminated by the light within the room, Sakura stood in the doorway, her eyes wide as they rested on Sasuke.

And as she pulled him towards her, into the light, into the room she occupied, into her arms and back into her life, Sasuke willingly let the tears fall down his cheek. As he held onto her, his back to the empty hallway of stretching shadows, Sasuke stared at the crib in the room blankly and realized they were in the room he and Sakura had decided to use as a nursery when they designed the house.

Feeling Sakura pull away from him, Sasuke resisted, but she was stronger than him and forced him to let go, but she wasn't pushing him away, she was pulling him further into the room. Finally understanding, Sasuke heard the noise again, and realized it was a child, and he was laughing.

Suddenly, something moved and Sasuke flinched back into place, the child having stood up in the crib and peeked over the edge. Sasuke could do nothing but stare at the little Uchiha for several minutes

Sakura watched him with great curiosity. She would have never expected to see Sasuke in such a state. It was once an idle dream of hers when they were married that he would be so taken by their child, but it had always been something she brushed away as impossible. She wondered if it was losing that child that made him like this now.

"You can hold him you know."

Seeing Sasuke's nervous expression, Sakura moved over to the crib beside him and picked Hikaru up. Sasuke couldn't take his eyes off of them as Sakura handed their son to him. Realizing then that Sakura was really handing Hikaru to him, Sasuke awkwardly took him.

Sakura smiled at the sight and forced Sasuke to hold him correctly, letting his head rest against his chest.

"He looks just like you," Sakura said.

Sasuke stared at him before looking back up at Sakura.

"Is this… for good?" Sasuke whispered, scared he was going to realize it was all just part of his imagination at any moment.

Stunned by his tone, Sakura kept her eyes on her son now sleeping in Sasuke's arms.

"I want it to be."

Sasuke pulled at Sakura's waist, her head resting against his chest by Hikaru's and held her there as tightly as he could.

"I won't ever let you go again, Sakura," Sasuke said by her ear. "Or Hikaru."

# # #

When Sakura returned home that night after seeing Naruto and Ino, Sakura found Sasuke asleep on his bed with Hikaru resting against his chest, snuggled tightly, sleeping as well. She was so emotionally impacted, she felt tears falling immediately at how beautiful he looked holding his son so effortlessly like he had been waiting for this moment all his life. Guilt suddenly collapsed around her and she couldn't understand why she had taken this away from Sasuke. Her tears crashing to the ground made Sasuke open his eyes and the warm tender look he gave her made all of her pain vanish.

"Come to bed, Sakura," he whispered.

Smiling, Sakura nodded, and curled up against his side, letting her mind and soul finally find peace with Sasuke.

She slept easier than she had in years.

* * *

_~-Six months later~_

Sakura smiled as she watched Hikaru run off to play with Naruto and Hinata's children. She was about to protest so she could give him a hug, but she refrained, seeing how happy he was.

"Thanks again, Hinata," Sakura called after her.

"Oh, no problem Sakura, the kids loving having him around," she said.

Sakura watched as Naruto's little blond son glared at Hikaru and laughed. "They'll be just like Naruto and Sasuke."

Hinata laughed hesitantly and said, "I sure hope not."

"Yeah, that's going to be a pain," Sakura said. "We'll be back in a few days hopefully."

Hinata smiled as Sakura left and went to meet Naruto and Sasuke at his office. An important mission had come up that couldn't be botched, and for the first time since being back, Naruto had asked her to go. What she hadn't realized was that it would be her, Naruto and Sasuke going the mission. She couldn't help but feel shocked that team seven would be going out, and that Naruto felt the mission so important that he was going personally.

"Why won't you tell us what the mission actually is, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, glowering at him.

Sakura's eyebrows furrowed as she realized he was right and they hadn't been briefed about what was actually going on, just that it was a rescue operation.

Naruto sighed. "Just trust me, alright? I can't tell you."

Surprised at how serious Naruto was being, Sakura grabbed Sasuke's arm to calm him, knowing he didn't have the patience for such things. Holding his tongue, Sasuke nodded.

The mission took them the entire week. They were sneaking into the unstable Mist Village where the politics got shady when the sixth Mizukage was killed in the war. Relations with the leaf were shaky at best and Naruto knew any kind of negotiations with them would end badly, so he insisted on going himself to find out if what he had heard was true or not. Taking Sasuke and Sakura along was just an added precaution that they didn't get caught.

When Naruto reached the high security prison cells, he disabled the guard and motioned for Sasuke and Sakura to go inside.

"What are we doing here, Naruto?" Sakura whispered, finally glaring at him like Sasuke was.

"Find cell 219," he said, "and when you do, flare your chakra just enough so we know you found it."

The three of them split off. They were at the top of a several story building with the cells wrapping the outer wall which were in the thousands. Immediately jumping down the stairwell at the center of the building, Sasuke free fell for several seconds before catching one of the bars and finding he had descended to a sub level. He was so irritated Naruto still wasn't telling them what was going on that he was determined to get to that cell first to see who the hell they were rescuing.

Realizing he had somehow stopped at the right floor, Sasuke realized he needed to cross to the other side of the building. Sprinting back the reinforced doors and taking down several guards as he went, Sasuke disabled several alarms on the way before he slid to a halt outside of cell 219.

Breaking the jutsus on the door, Sasuke lifted the heavy handle and pulled, causing the rickety hinges to cringe and cry as he forced the heavy piece of metal open.

On first glance, there was no one in the room, but it was filled with shadows from the light he let in from the dim corridor. Stepping inside, Sasuke noticed a boy huddled in the corner, staring at him. The door swung open further and suddenly light was shining on his face and Sasuke went ghostly pale.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, his voice shaking.

The boy stood up and looked at Sasuke hard, his dark eyes narrowing.

"Why do you look like me?" he asked.

Sasuke froze. He even sounded just like him. Before he could respond, Naruto and Sakura were behind him, panting.

"Sasuke," Naruto said.

He turned to stare back at him, demanding an explanation with his eyes.

"I was scared," Naruto said, "that they might have killed him already."

Sasuke's heart dropped into his stomach. "So this is… Itachi's son?"

Naruto nodded. "That's the only explanation I came up with. I have a surveillance unit here, and they told me when he showed unusual genjutsu capabilities at the orphanage he was in, they locked him up. His mother apparently died in child birth and he's been alone."

"Who are you?" the boy shouted.

Sasuke watched as the boy pressed his back against the wall. "How do you know all that?"

"Calm down, we're going to get you out of here," Naruto said, moving forward a bit, but the boy seemed to panic and Sasuke felt his jaw slack as his eyes bled red.

"Naruto!" Sakura cried, and Sasuke saw Naruto fall to his knees.

Engaging his sharingan, Sasuke released Naruto from the genjutsu and looked back at the kid who was staring at him with a partially complete sharingan. He looked so much like Itachi Sasuke couldn't get a grip on the situation, but before he caused anymore damage, he knocked him out and grabbed him, motioning for Sakura to do the same with Naruto.

They were gone before the alerted guards even encountered them.

# # #

"Will he be alright?" Sasuke asked the nurse tending to him, staring at the boy, unconscious in his hospital bed.

Sakura's hand gripped his arm, but he felt like everything was spinning.

"He is extremely malnourished and it looks like he was beaten often. He hasn't had it easy, that's for sure, but I think physically he will be fine. Are you going to be looking after him?" the nurse asked.

Sasuke stared at the kid. He couldn't seem to not see Itachi and it was causing flashbacks.

"We will be," Sakura said, smiling at the nurse and ushering her from the room. "I'm going to be looking after him now that I am fully recovered. Thank you."

Closing the door, Sakura turned back to Sasuke and didn't think she had ever seen him so pale.

"Sasuke," she said. "Stop being like this. You will frighten him, he is just a child. When he wakes up, tell him that you are his uncle and will be taking care of him. You have to be stronger than this; it's a miracle that we found him. Be thankful that there is something left of your brother in his son, but don't mistake him for Itachi."

"He looks just like him at that age," Sasuke whispered. His hair was falling in uneven strands to his chin and his sharingan. He was still so young, about nine, and it was nearly fully formed.

"What are we going to do, Sakura?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura grabbed Sasuke's chin and forced him to look at her, forcing sense into his mind that seemed to be drifting further and further into the darkness each moment.

"We are going to take care of him as if he were our own son, Sasuke."

Nodding, Sasuke suddenly saw Sakura before him, the light pouring from her eyes and he felt grounded, like Sakura was the only reason he was going to get through all of this. And as he watched her check his pulse and wipe his forehead, he knew he couldn't have done it without her.

# # #

_~Three Months Later~_

"Tsuneo!" Sakura shouted, waving.

He smiled at her as he ran in with the other children.

Sasuke watched him fondly, holding Hikaru in his arms whom was waving frantically too.

"Do you think he will be alright? He is starting a bit late," Sasuke said.

Sakura nodded. "With how much he has improved in just three months, I think he will be fine."

Sasuke tried to let his unease go. He was quite skilled for having never been training and after teaching him how to use his sharingan, the boy proved he was a true genius. He would probably excel past his year mates despite skipping a year.

Sasuke followed Sakura back and played with Hikaru who was waving to everyone he saw in the village who he knew and didn't.

"So," Sasuke said, catching Sakura's attention. "When do we get the chance to um…" Sasuke glanced at his son and saw how every word was sinking in, "get Hikaru another brother to play with?"

Sakura glanced sideways at him. "Who's to say it wouldn't be a little sister?"

Sasuke smiled, a real smile, the kind that made Sakura melt from the inside.

"I hope she has your hair," Sasuke said, turning his glowing smile towards her despite Hikaru's demand for his attention, "and the sharingan too."

"Daddy, what's the sharingan?" Hikaru asked.

Sasuke looked down at his son and couldn't help but hold him a little tighter. Everything had changed the day Sakura and Hikaru had walked back into his life. He could finally see with open eyes again, and the pain and darkness had faded. And now, with Tsuneo, Sasuke felt like there was a piece of Itachi still alive, not only within him, but his son, and the world that had only been full of eternal darkness before had shattered and he was finally free.

He was finally happy.

* * *

_An: I hope you guys like the ending! Rough ride, I know, but wasn't it worth it!!! I appreciate all the wonderful reviews and I look forward to seeing you guys around the site again! And whatever you do, forget what I said about the anime version of Romeo and Juliet. -_- Don't watch it. I won't rant so I don't spoil, but SHEESH. And I'm so utterly shocked by the recent chapter. As I was editing this chapter and seeing this side of Sasuke, I wondered what the hell it is gonna take to get him to this point ever again... I'm not so sure it can happen anymore. Killing his loyal teammate like that is beyond repair. I hope she isn't dead. Later guys!_


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